Happy Halloween

It’s Halloween and very soon I will be putting on my costume: black pants, black shirt, black apron and black shoes. I will be going as a waiter, because my ass has to work tonight. I thought about pulling out the good ol’ reliable Halloween costume and showing up to work in it, but decided to let my favorite holiday of all time just meld into a regular Sunday night at work. Surely there will be some customers there who will be in costume and I will seethe with jealousy that they get to participate while I have to bring them drinks. What is it about Halloween that I love so much? Maybe it’s because it’s a day that is perfectly acceptable to wear ridiculous costumes and makeup even though I wish I could do it every day. When I was a kid, the one costume I recall wearing was a Darth Vader one. It was October in Texas so it was still hot and muggy, but I wore that costume with pride. I took my dad’s black motorcycle helmet and wore it over the mask to give it that Darth Vader helmet head look. I remember sweating my ass off in that thing and my mom telling me to just take off the helmet and leave on the mask. “No,” I whined. “If I take off the helmet, then the costume won’t look right and no one will know who I am!” As if the mask, cape, black boots and light saber weren’t good enough clues.

Happy Halloween. Pretend that it is in the days before assholes put razor blades in apples and cyanide in Pixy Stix. Be a kid today. Remember how much fun it was to compare your bag of candy to your brothers’ and know that you had more? And then you’d pour it all out onto the floor and divide it into piles to decide what you were willing to trade and what you were going to eat right away. And then a few weeks later you finally get to those candies that were the least favorites: those taffy kinda things wrapped in orange or black paper that you know they bought at the K-Mart. It was a sad day when those were the only candies you had left because it meant you already eaten the Smarties and the Bit o Honeys and the mini Snickers. All that was left was taffy. But you ate it it, because lame candy was better than no candy. After you ate that last piece of candy, you looked at the calendar and realized that the next Halloween was so far away. But you started to think about what you’re gonna be anyway. Halloween lets us all flash back to that time in our lives when the only thing that mattered was having fun. Try to do that today. Have fun. And when you see the kids on the street, try to go back to when you were that age and remember the joy that this day gave you. While I am at work slaving away in my non-costume.

What was your favorite costume you wore as a kid? Do you remember? Happy Halloween!

I wait tables and bitch about it on my blog, The Bitchy Waiter.

22 thoughts on “Happy Halloween

  1. What do you think about:

    The income declines for the rich were steeper, while the government has done more to help the middle class and poor.

  2. For the last few years my Halloween tradition has been a monster hangover, thanks to my birthday being on the 30th. 😛

  3. @JimL- may that boy's father rot in bloody hell! It is because of him that I throw away about 80% of the candy my kids collect on Halloween. Well, that and those mfer's drive me crazy bouncing off the fucking walls like that.

  4. What? I used to love those orange- or black-wrapped pieces of taffy, especially if they were filled with peanut butter. To each his own, I guess.I grew up in a gentrified neighborhood where there weren't a lot of kids, but there were a lot of grandmother-types who loved spending time making elaborate treats like popcorn balls and caramel apples.BTW, those stories about poisoned candy and pins or razor blades in apples are urban legends, for the most part. In the Pixie Stick incident, it was the boy's father who poisoned the candy, to collect the insurance money. He was found guilty and later was executed.

  5. At least you didn't go to work as a gorilla. Got food served the other night from a big furred suit. He had butter in his arm-fur from a baker. The manager and I spoke. Favorite costume? The year I went as a cheap-as-hell Gi JOE. Took a green shirt and taped brown and black spots to it so as to simulate camouflage. Looked like an idiot, I think, but only cost us three sheets of paper to make.

  6. My favorite Halloween Costume was when I went out as a sorcerer! Even though everyone kept asking me if I was from Star wars or Harry Potter. Oh well I still loved the costume because I made it all on my own. Other years my mother would make me a costume. I just stayed home watching horrible Leprechaun movies and giving out tons of candy to the little kiddies 🙂

  7. ITA with Bagelfairy too.I was flo once, but not as good a Flo as you. My favorite costume was going as a pack of cigarettes when I was about 8. I was Benson & Hedges menthol light 100s.

  8. Surely, there was a party to attend after the job? We had several, after the show was over. Costume costs have gotten way out of hand… I remember being a shark, a pile of leaves, and a sweet grannie spider! Maybe you'll be rich and famous, next year, and be able to dress up and have some other waiter bringing your meal… come visit when you can…

  9. Cripes I remember going as the teenage mutant ninja turtle once. A princess, a rooster?!, dalmation, cowgirl, hippie, hell who knows what else I went as. Now I just hand out candy- my kids r to little to go walking around the streets in this cruddy NY weather so they trick or treat a few nights before the actual holiday at the local college. Then we take the 30lbs of candy they get and hand that out lol. BAGEL FAIRY- those chicks piss me off too. Of course if I had the body Id probably dress as a whore too and prance around.

  10. I loved Halloween because we got to go into the big old town of Victoria, TX and go trick-or-treating with our cousins. We used old pillowcases and filled those suckers up! Happy days. The only costume I remember was once I dressed up as the Easter bunny, oddly enough.

  11. I still work in a college town, and the girls who find any excuse to walk around in heels, panties, and/or bikini tops – no matter what the costume is – piss me off so much it's not even fun to go out anymore.

  12. My favorite ever was this Snow White costume that my mom made. I must've been 7 or so?About 8 years ago, I went as Maleficent. Funky horns, green makeup, and all. It was a blast. Scared the hell out of the dog, though.And of course, once I saw the dog went spaztastic when seeing someone with headgear on, I managed to somehow get my (now ex)-husband to wear a headband reindeer antlers at Christmas, if only for a short while.:huggles:~watergirl~

  13. I also have to work today, boo. And because i had to get up really early to go to work my 12 hour shift, i missed out on a Halloween Party last night. Double boo. 🙁 My favorite costume was the one i wore 2 years ago, Abby from NCIS. I don't recall many costumes from when i was a kid. I remember that they were all home made, and i know i was a rabbit several years in a row, so that must have been my favorite at the time. Happy Halloween!

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