In 1984 many wonderful things happened. The groundbreaking film Ghostbusters was released, Cyndi Lauper earned the Grammy for best new artist (criminally beating Madonna) and Apple introduced their first Macintosh personal computer. But these are not the only momentous occasions of that year, for it was also the year that I was born. Today is my birthday. Uh huh. I am 26 years old. I repeat, I am 26 years old. Anyone who says otherwise is completely and utterly wrong. To celebrate, I am taking the day off from work. Actually, I only work two days a week so taking Saturday off is a regular thing for me, but today I have a reason other than laziness and no direction in life. Today I will be having lunch and dinner at restaurants and I expect nothing less than a group of waiters singing to me as they place before me a stale piece of cake with a dirty candle stuck in it. The restaurants should be comping my drinks, simply because I was born. The whole restaurant should give me their undivided attention because it is my special day, dammit. And in case you are wondering what I would like for my birthday, there are a few things. You can always go here if you want an idea or here for another great gift option. The Bitchy Waiter is also on the look out for a new Mac Book, running shoes, a watch, jewelry, vacation home in Provincetown, free airline tickets, tequila, tequila, tequila or anything else of value. Or you can always go here to express your birthday wishes upon me.
Seriously, thank you for the birthday love and thank you for reading this blog. It makes me happy that even one person reads it or comments on anything. Thank you. And to all you other May 29th birthdayers out there, happy birthday to you too! Oh wait…was I born in 1984 or was I a sophomore in high school in 1984, I’m not sure.