Year: 2009

Good Tip vs. Bad Tip

I was recently asked if I could spot a good tipper from a bad tipper by some waiter vibe that I have honed over my years of service. The answer …

Not Your Turn, Lady

We had a really busy night the other night. I think we had about eighty-something people there and only two of us serving. The difference with this place as opposed …

Here’s the Story of a Lovely Lady

My life missed being perfect and whole by a mere twenty-four hours. I worked on October 11th, but if I would have worked on October 10th instead, my life could …

Thou Shalt Not Tweet at Work

Everyone is jib-jabbering about the California waiter who Tweeted about getting stiffed by the actress Jane Adams. If you have been living under a fucking rock, here is the link …

No Cell Phones, Please

Being in a new serving environment has opened up a whole new can of worms regarding annoyances. At the last job, it was like a can of Upper East Side …

Neat vs. Straight Up

As a cocktail server, I am coming across many terms that I have never encountered before. Despite my eleventy-billion years of slinging food, some words have not made it into …

You Order Eggroll?

Occasionally, The Bitchy Waiter gets to go to a restaurant and have someone fuck up his order for a change. After nearly a score of waiting tables, (as in four …

Bitch at Table 19

It is hard to find things to bitch about being a waiter when one’s waiting job is actually tolerable. That’s right, The Bitchy Waiter has little to complain about. The …

Say Cheese, Asshole

My first day at my new job went off without a hitch with the exception of one huge asshole who sat at table 24. Do they follow me? Am I …