I have pulled myself out of my self-imposed break to alert you to an important fact: today is National Margarita Day, y’all. I know this because it is on Facebook, therefore it must be true. Thankfully for me, I am currently in Texas where Margaritas pour freely from the tap. Seriously, here in Texas, restaurants don’t bring you water when you sit down, they just hand you a pitcher of Margarita. People wash their hair in Margaritas, dogs drink Margaritas out of their bowls and I once went through a car wash where the final rinse was with Rose’s Lime Juice. Since today is such an auspicious occasion, it is our duty to go out and get drunk. We do not want to disappoint whoever it was that created this day, so get out there and order one for lunch. Or if you’re like me, for breakfast.
In other news, being in Texas has reminded me how much fucking roadkill there is here. Driving into town yesterday to hit the Target for some emergency nail polish, I came across six different dead skunks on the road. How many damn skunks are there that six of them die in one night just while crossing one four-mile stretch of road? Crazy. I also have seen a dead deer, an o’possum and a cat. I guess it is the equivalent of being in New York City and seeing a half rotted rat laying in the tracks of the A train. Sigh, I miss New York City.
Anyhoo, back to tequila and this wonderful day that allows us to whisper sweet nothings into the ear of Margarita. Whether yours is frozen, on the rocks, straight up, with salt, without salt, strawberry, raspberry, mango, original or bacon, get one today. And don’t feel like you need to wait until your work day is over. If possible, have it at work. Or at home. In bed. Or on the couch. Or at a bar. Or a club. Or a movie. Wherever, you are and whatever you do today, have a Margarita. It’s almost as important as paying your taxes. It might actually be more important.
Happy National Margarita Day.
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