Hey, y’all, first off I have got to thank The Bitchy Waiter for letting me say some words on the internets, but I have shocking news. My favorite restaurant in the whole world played a new commercial last night and it just about turned my world upside down, y’all. Lemme just say it: I love Olive Garden. I cain’t help it, but I do. Those bread sticks just do a number on me and I cain’t stop eatin’ ’em. I hear they have a never-ending salad bowl too, but best I remember, I ain’t never had that ’cause it’s got lettuce in it. Anyways, I was watching the telly last night. (I love Honey Boo Boo!!) and I sees a commercial on for Olive Garden and it was totally different. You know how they usually show a bunch of people sittin’ around a table laughing and eating food and and then at the end they say, “When you’re here, you’re family?” Well what I saw last night they showed a woman doing some of that yogi bear exercise and a bunch of kids taking pictures on the cellular phones. How in tarnation does that have anything to do with Olive Garden? And then at the end they just said “Go Olive Garden.” Don’t mess with my Olive Garden.
I did a little bit of Internets research and found this article telling me that OG is changing the way they are advertising because their business is down. Now that don’t make a lick of sense to me since every time I go to OG it’s as crowded as the Wal-Mart on Black Friday when they’s selling 102″ flat screen t.v.’s for $1.99. I also read that they are starting to have some food that has fewer calories for people who are watching their weight. Now don’t get me wrong, I watch my weight too, you know. I watch it get higher and higher, LOl! I don’t go to OG to watch my calories. If I want to eat healthy and lose weight, I do what all Americans do: I go to Subway. Please DO NOT change, Olive Garden, I beg of you on all things holy and deep fried.
One thing that does look kinda interesting is this new “Dinner Today, Dinner Tomorrow” offer, which gives customers who come in for dinner a second meal to take home. They’re cold and then I can just heat ’em up the next day. I might like this idea a lot because I can buy a fancy Olive Garden dinner for my kids and husband but I won’t have to leave a tip on it, and that puts more money in my purse.
I suppose I understand that all things have to change, I just don’t like it. I still recall how upset I was when they changed the recipe for Coke so long ago and came out with that new Coke. Lordy, I was so pissed off about that and I skipped breakfast for a week. I finally switched over to Dr. Pepper and life went on but I just don’t know if I can handle all these changes at the OG. On Friday afternoons after me and all the other girls from the cafeteria are done with work, I loves to go to the OG and get myself a glass of white zin and eat some bread sticks. That’s sorta like my own little tradition, you know? I just want things to stay the same and if Olive Garden is changing, what next? Is Arby’s gonna start selling salads or is McDonald’s gonna start selling pizza? Where will it end? If I want pizza, I do what every other American does: I go to KFC.
Okay, I guess I better go. I am at work and the first batch of kids is about to be served lunch. I need to go open up five gallons of mac and cheese and pull those fish sticks out of the oven. I just wanted to vent about Olive Garden. “When you’re here, you’re family” is no longer, but to me, those waitresses at the OG will always be my family. I love ’em so much which is why I always tell them how great they are to me and my friends. I make sure to tell every single one what a good job they’re doing because I think that’s what they really want from me. We can all make money, but how often do you get a compliment?
Thanks again, Bitchy Waiter for giving me this platform. Go, Olive Garden? I say “Go, Bitchy Waiter!!”
No, Arlene, Thank you. -BW
(And everyone knows that this wasn’t really written by a woman named Arlene, right?)