Whenever there is some story in the news that involves a server, people send me the link to make sure I have heard about it. Such is the case with the waiter who had his finger broken by an angry customer. John Castle, 76 and the chairman and CEO of Castle Harlan, a private equity firm was eating at some fancy ass place in Palm Beach called Club Colette. You can click here to see some of the folks who were at the club’s New Year’s Eve party. Most of the pictures are of rich old white men with younger wives who are all pinched, nipped and tucked. I particularly hope that picture #11 is a father and daughter because anything else is just too creepy. Anyhoo, Castle got all pissed off when his waiter brought him the check. Castle allegedly grabbed the hand of the waiter Paul Kucik, and yelled, “You schmuck, why did you bring the bill to the table?” He then proceeded to bend the waiter’s hand and when the server went to a doctor the next day he learned that his fucking finger was broken off. What the hell is that shit? Kucik said that the asshole’s wife had asked for the check to be brought to her husband and he was only doing what he was asked to do. And what kind of question is “Why did you bring the bill to the table?” anyway? The answer to that question is, “Because you have to pay for your fucking food, asswipe.” According to reports, this John Ass’le (see how that rhymes with Castle?) isn’t the friendliest of people. Just looking at the guy you can tell he’s not a people person. He looks like Mr. Burns from The Simpson’s came to life and went out to eat:
One is John Castle and one is Mr. Burns. Eerie, ain’t it?
No charges have been pressed against John Ass’le yet because the waiter has not gone to the police. He’s probably waiting to get some huge settlement instead because, um, duh. He had his finger broken by a rich person. This is America and his ship just came in. Say goodbye to your apron, Paul Kucik, you just won the lottery.
Of course I wasn’t there when this incident allegedly went down so I can only imagine what the waiter said as his finger was broken:
Here you are sir, just as your lovely and not at all overly made-up wife asked, I have your check for you. It was my pleasure serving you this evening- arrgh! That’s my finger sir! You are hurting my finger! It is not meant to bend that way, sir. Oh my God! Someone help me, this asshole is breaking off my fucking finger! And it’s the finger I use to type orders into the computer-my livelihood! I am about to scream! Arrrggh! Oh my God! My finger is now hanging off my hand! It is definitely broken. John Castle, the incredibly rich CEO of an investment firm just assaulted me and broke my finger, oh my God! Call 911! CALL 911! (pause) Wait, don’t call 911, I’m alright, I’m alright. Never mind Does anyone have the name of a good lawyer? And someone do my fucking sidework, I’m outta here, bitches.
Good luck, Paul Kucik. Take this asshole down for all of us who are shit on by people who think they are better than us.
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