“Face Mask Exempt Cards” Are Not a Thing

There are plenty of cities and states around the country that have made it a requirement to wear a mask or face covering in public as a prevention to help stop the spread of the coronavirus. Somehow, the act of taking a precautionary measure has turned political. While I can fully attest that covering my mouth and nose with a piece of fabric is not the most comfortable thing to do in 90° weather, I’m certain that it’s better than being on a ventilator.

You may have seen the above image floating around on the Internet of a “Face Mask Exempt Card” that some stunt queens are undoubtedly trying to use to get out of being a caring, empathetic human being. It’s bullshit and it’s not a legal card. If your restaurant requires customers to wear a mask when entering and someone pulls this laminated piece of shit from their tired ass Ocean Pacific velcro wallet, you can call them out on it. The Department of Justice has released a statement announcing that the cards are fraudulent, as if the misspelling of the word “poses” wasn’t a big enough clue. The card is supposedly from an organization called the Freedom to Breathe Agency, but when you go to their website, it’s basically under construction. When you click any of their social media tabs, it takes to you to the webpage of a website building company, so it’s real official. They claim to be “an extensive group of attorneys, doctors, health practitioners, educators, business owners, CEOs, moms and dads who value their freedom and personal liberty under the Constitution of the United States of America,” but I’m pretty sure it’s just an asshole who Googled how to build a website and then bought a domain name.

Look, if you truly have a medical condition that keeps you from wearing a mask, then by all means don’t wear one. But if you don’t want to wear one because you feel like your civil liberties are being taken away from you, just know that you’re being a selfish, entitled prick. Wearing a mask isn’t going to hurt you and it might even help you. Here in New York City, where hundreds of people a day were dying a few weeks ago, most people are wearing them and you know what? Yesterday, only 13 people in the whole state died. So maybe, just maybe, the masks are helping. Meanwhile in Texas, where my family lives, they are seeing a spike in cases every single day. Houston may be next epicenter even though we in New York have been begging our loved ones in Texas take this more seriously. They didn’t and now they are as scared as we were back in April.

If someone shows up to your restaurant refusing to wear a mask even though they are required to do so, remind them that they also have to wear shoes and shirts and pants to come inside. A restaurant is a private business and they have a right to refuse service to anyone who doesn’t want to abide by the restaurant’s policy. And also ask them why they feel they have a right to jeopardize the health of other people. If I can do my daily run of four miles in the heat of summer while wearing a mask, they can certainly handle wearing one from the hostess stand to the fucking booth they want slide into. If they show you this card, tell them to fuck right off. 

Discussion

  1. Bekah
  2. Becca Mcclellan
    • Ur a shytkunt
  3. Too much time on my hands?
  4. eddie
  5. kris
  6. Eric Hart
    • Crystal
      • Crystal
    • Lindsey

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