Did Piers Morgan Insult Bartenders? (Spoiler Alert: He Did)

I very rarely get political, because, honestly, who needs that from this particular blog? This forum is a place for me to speak out and be the voice of servers from around the country and beyond. However, every once in a great while, the world of politics and food service collide in a way that is not dissimilar to a child running through a restaurant who face plants with a tray of pint glasses.

Earlier this week, Piers Morgan went to Twitter and insulted a United States politician and also managed to insult any of us who wear aprons for a living.

Piers Morgan is a controversial English broadcaster, journalist, writer, and co-anchor of the ITV program Good Morning Britain. Basically, he’s like a sofa cushion with a pee stain on it and when you flip the cushion over, all you find is another stain, but this time it’s shit. Piers Morgan is a big ol’ shit-stained couch cushion. He, like so many other people, has a very strong opinion about U.S. representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. For reasons unknown to me since Piers Morgan doesn’t even live in this country, he wanted to Tweet out something negative about the fact that only 18 months ago she was a bartender and now she is an elected official who won 78% of the vote for her district. This was in response to AOC calling out Ivanka Trump for inserting herself into the G20 Summit despite not being an elected official. “It may be shocking to some, but being someone’s daughter actually isn’t a career qualification,” she Tweeted. That’s when lumpy ass, shit-stained couch cushion Piers Morgan questioned AOC’s qualifications for being elected a U.S. representative.

I’m not going to get into whether or not I like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortes or not. (Suffice it to say I’m a gay man who lives in New York City.) The point is it doesn’t matter that she was once a waitress or bartender. What matters is that she was elected to the position and the people who voted for her were satisfied with either her political views or the fact that she graduated cum laude from Boston University with a degree in international relations and economics. That’s enough. That she bartended for a while is no reason to try to shame someone.

I am so tired of people assuming that just because we wait tables or sling drinks we should never be allowed to do anything else with our lives. There are many successful people in this world who have done exactly what so many of us are doing right now: working hard at an honest job that pays our bills. For some of us, this is what we do until something else comes along. For others, we are career servers, or “lifers.” Either one is perfectly okay. Piers Morgan has a habit of insulting people that he disagrees with and I’m certain that he has had more than one Twitter feud in his life. Since I have long dreamed of having my very own Twitter feud, I will now say to him what I wasn’t able to say on Twitter since I probably would have been sent directly to Twitter jail for saying it:

Fuck you Piers Morgan, you sorry-ass excuse for a human being. I don’t care if you agree or disagree with the politics of AOC. For you to insult someone because they waited tables shows that you are indeed a human shit stain masquerading as a TV personality. The fact that you later Tweeted out that your parents owned a pub and that bartending is in your blood makes you sound even more removed from the real world. Surely, your parents would be appalled to see you demeaning someone who worked in a bar for a living. I know you’ll never read this and that lots of people will disagree with me, but you really are a piece of work. If you don’t like the policies of a politician, I suggest you find a better argument than “she was a bartender.” I also suggest that in the future you keep a close eye on your food and drinks when you go out to a restaurant. After all, some bartender might not take kindly to your insult about our profession and somehow manage to give you the slimiest lime or the oldest most dried out olive as your cocktail garnish. Or maybe one of them will stir your drink with his penis, you never know. Cheers, asshole.

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