How To Make Sure Your Server Hates You – Update


Last week, I wrote a blog post about the above image. It went fairly viral and after a few days, I was contacted by one of the women in the photo. She was not happy with me. The message basically said “our professor told us to do it” and “the waitress knew what was happening” and “we didn’t give permission to have our photo taken” and “people are being mean to us and calling us names” and “we demand you take down the post” and “blah blah blah.” Therefore, I am reposting this blog with a few revisions. Below, you will find the the original text with a few redactions (struck out) and additions (in red.)

To the two women in the photo: I’m sorry. There should have been more research before I posted the photo. I’m sorry some of the readers recognized you since you’re both minor celebrities at your school and then called you names. I didn’t mean to spread misinformation, but then again this blog isn’t CNN or NPR. It’s a blog written by a bitchy waiter. But, I’m sorry.

For most servers, it’s not difficult to look deep inside our bodies to find a pool of revulsion and disgust for our customers. Even the most friendly of servers have that well of dislike, it’s just easier for some of us to find it. For me, it’s like a year round swimming pool full of too much chlorine and loathing with no shallow end and a broken diving board. For others it’s more like a secret swimmin’ hole of slight empathy that one has to know where to look to find it. There are a lot of ways to make us dislike a customer, but the surest and most certain way I have ever seen to guarantee that response is to do what these two women did when they went out to eat at a restaurant that I hope no one will recognize. They placed a sign on the table that said “Your Tip So Far.”


No, no, no.

I have taken the liberty of placing black bars huge sad face emojis over the faces of these two women in order to protect their privacy. But let’s be honest: that black bar is thinner than a piece of deli meat, so if you know who they are, you’ll definitely recognize them. By doing so, I hope no one ever recognizes these two women and then calls them names on the Internet.

After this image was sent to me, I then heard that the sign was part of an experiment for a physiology class at a university I do not want to name so these women CANNOT be identified. Physiology is defined as the branch of biology that deals with the normal functions of living organisms and their parts. It sounds more like a psychology (the science that deals with mental processes and behavior) experiment, but I was told physiology, so we’ll go with that. Now, I’m not a fancy scientist or anything, but this experiment is obviously about learning how a server’s brain explodes at the sight of two college students who are messing with that server’s income. Or maybe it’s an experiment to see what one needs to do in order to have your food at a restaurant take longer than it should and how to make sure your water glass is never, ever filled. Whether it’s an experiment in physiology or psychology, what the actual fuck?

If this “Your Tip So far” sign was a noble experiment, it seems like they are using the server as a subject without the server’s consent. Again, I’m no expert, but that seems morally irresponsible. I do hope this photo gets shared plenty of times so we can conduct our own little experiment: by sharing the photo hundreds or even thousand of times, we can learn whether or not a professor at an unnamed university will own up to their mistake and admit this was a bad idea. If this behavior was not because of a professor and was, in fact, two young women simply being pains in the asses, then we can also see how long it takes for them to go into a restaurant again and actually treat their server with respect and dignity. But we shouldn’t have to worry about that because no one will ever know who these two women are.

Either way, you should definitely NOT share the hell out of this photo. (And you should also follow me on Instagram and Twitter.


23 thoughts on “How To Make Sure Your Server Hates You – Update

  1. KK

    I just discovered this website after buying the book. There goes my next month as I read past blogs through 2011.

  2. Bartender

    A college professor here did something like this. He sent a student in to a restaurant to do something socially unacceptable to see the reaction. She went in, ordered a glass of water, and proceeded to shave her legs. Propped those puppies right up on the table, dipped the razor in the water and away she went. Horror insued. People yelled, servers panicked, the manager evacuated the building ( not really). What did happen though is phone calls were made, apologies were given, and it gave us a little excitement for the night.

  3. Justice0419

    My goodness. People are dumb AF.
    Sad that humans don’t realize that the human that is taking care of them is also….. human.

    People want to eat the sausage. They just don’t want to know how it is made.

  4. Roslyn

    You are correct! It is unethical to perform research on a subject without the subject’s informed consent. I rather doubt that this was the assignment.

  5. Amber

    Wow what pieces of shit those woman are.Bet they’re as dumb as a doornail. Not everyone does everything they are asked to do.If the excuse was their professor told them to do this we all know thats a lie.

  6. DeeMurph

    If “the waitress knew what was happening” then how does this “experiment” work, exactly?

  7. AB

    Whoever emailed about the post is a fucking pussy. Lol mad about being called names ?? Perhaps don’t disrespect your waitstaff ? Who cares if the waiter knew or not. It’s rude regardless of the reasoning behind the note.

  8. Consequences

    And how often do these people take pictures of others without their consent? Selfies, anyone? Give me a break. And maybe they should have told their professor this was a stupid idea, or better yet made said professor come along to take some of the heat (assuming they were actually told to do this in the first place).

      1. Meglet

        When taking a selfie, people are often times consumed with themselves and how they look in the picture and don’t notice the innocent bystanders behind them.

  9. LakewoodOhioLady

    You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit in the wind, you don’t pull the mask off the Lone Ranger and you don’t do something you don’t want posted on the Internet.

      1. Geoff

        Big hit by Jim Croce back in the day. Anyone alive in ’72 heard that song incessantly on AM radio.

      2. Obxmaureen

        I babysat for some cool young parents who had the album. I played the hell out of that thing. Let’s see. I was twelve in ‘72.

  10. Ariel Riley

    You so often ‘report’ information that is fabrication by whomever you feel is telling a story that can allow you to bitch. But let’s be fair – you’re a blog and the media outlets that profess to feed us ‘news’ do no better. We are used to bogus and/or unfactchecked information these days.


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