Vegetarian Was Accidentally Served Chicken and Wants Written Apology

A woman went to Chili’s last week and had the worst experience of her life. Seriously, out of everything that has happened to her, the most horrific thing occurred at a Chili’s when she was just trying to live her vegetarian life and a server accidentally gave her a quesadilla with chicken in it. You see, Aayushi has never had any “non veg” in her mouth so having a piece of chicken in there was a shock to her system. In the past, she has always loved the quesadilla from Chili’s, so in her haste to have that delicious vegetarian concoction all over her tongue, she failed to inspect the quesadilla before she crammed it inside her face. Hence, Aayushi got some chicken in her mouth.

And then she wrote about it on Facebook. She acknowledges that it was a mistake by the server, but it’s what she demands that requires me to blog about this. She claims that management was unconcerned about the mistake. I highly doubt this. Knowing management in corporate restaurants like Chili’s, I bet they did everything they could to smooth the matter over including giving her a gift card, stroking her ego and providing her with a barf bag to regurgitate said chicken quesadilla into. What they were unwilling to do was provide her with a written apology. Yes, Aayushi wanted a fucking written apology from Chili’s.

Bitch, please. So someone made an error. It’s not like you ordered some guacamole and they accidentally brought you a bowl full of hemlock sprinkled with boric acid and a shot of bleach. Someone grabbed the wrong plate of grilled tortillas and instead of peppers, yours had chicken in it. It’s not the end of the world and it wasn’t intentional. If you have set very strict guidelines on what you will and will not eat, then you need to share that responsibility when it comes time to eat food you order in a restaurant. Had you simply peeled back a tortilla to make sure it was what you had ordered, you would have seen that chicken beak smothered in yummy Monterey Jack cheese and known right away that this was not something you were willing to have inside your mouth. I get it, you’re a vegetarian and you don’t want to partake in the eating of delicious fleshy animals. However, it’s not like you chose to eat it. It was an accident so you’re off the hook. The animal kingdom will forgive you because you didn’t know what you were eating. However, don’t hold your breath for the written apology because I’m sure it’s not coming.

Because I am a giver, I will write one for you on behalf of Chili’s. You can print it out and frame it and then next time you are eating a garden burger full of soy and nuts, you can read it and feel better about that one day you accidentally had a piece of chicken.

Dear Aayushi,

We are sorry for putting you though the worst experience of your life and we are sorry that you had to deal with the atrocity of grilled chicken. It was certainly not our intent to upset you, but sometimes mistakes happen. We hope this written apology will make up for our egregious error and we also hope that the gift card we sent you will encourage you to come back and try one of our many vegetarian dishes. Finally, it is also our hope that you will bend over and let us press our lips so far into your asshole that we can taste the tofu that you had for dinner last night.

Love,
Chili’s

Good luck taking this forward with your formal filing of a complaint in a consumer forum. Whatever forum you are referring to isn’t going to care. My advice to you?  Get over it. Mistakes happen. Just ask your parents. They know.

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