Server Is Given a Script by Ultimate Control Freak

14593296_1248281155195448_348245641_nWe all know the stereotype that says every waiter and waitress is an actor, right? While this may be more likely in New York City where you can’t throw a dead rat without hitting at least two wannabe Broadway superstars, that may not be the case all over the country. However, one recent customer at a Red Robin seems to think it’s perfectly okay to supply their server with a script for their dining experience and have the server perform like a trained monkey working for peanuts and belly rubs.

Nikki was living her best life by celebrating her birthday at Red Robin where she was going to drown herself in Chili Chili™Cheeseburgers and bottomless fries. Her friend put together the evening and had it planned down to the very minute. I’m certain that if Nikki needed to take a pee, she had to ask her friend first if it was on the schedule. The server was given an itinerary, complete with lines of dialogue and so the party began:

The Waitress/Waiters Script

1: Bring out the drinks…go away and come back 2: Ask Nikki “Do you have a daughter named Isabella? Wait for Nikki to respond. She wanted to wish you a happy birthday. (Give Nikki the present wrapped in pink).

2: Take the order go away and come back. Ask Nikki: Do you have a son named Landon? Wait for Nikki to respond. He wanted you to have this for your birthday. (Give Nikki the present wrapped in blue).

3: Go away. After bringing us our meals ask Nikki: Do you have a twin named Michelle? Wait for Nikki to respond. She wanted to say happy birthday. (Give Nikki envelope with her name on it).

4: After clearing away dishes ask Nikki: Do you have a nephew named Zac? Wait for Nikki to respond. He wanted to say happy birthday. (Hand Nikki the box wrapped in black).

5: Bring out birthday cake. We will sing her happy birthday.

6: While we are eating cake but before you bring the check ask Nikki Do you know someone named Jonathan? Wait for Nikki to respond. Well he wanted to wish you a happy birthday as well. (Wheel out bicycle).

End of celebration

At certain intervals, the server was required to ask Nikki about a random person in her life and when Nikki responded, “Why yes, I DO have a daughter named Isabella!” that was the server’s cue to say ‘“she wanted to wish you a happy birthday” and then present the appropriate gift. The server and to do this a total of five times for Nikki’s son, her twin sister, her nephew and a random man named Jonathan. We do not know what Jonathan’s relationship is to Nikki, but I’m just going to assume it’s her fuck buddy because why not? This poor server had to carry out a pink present, a blue present, an envelope, a black present and finally, a goddamn bicycle. Of course these gifts were taking up valuable space in the sidestand and the whole event was taking up even more valuable space in the server’s brain. Every time she’d be at another table taking an order, she’s worried about getting Landon’s present out on time.

I think this is a lot to ask of a server. You can’t just expect your waitress to be handed a script and perform on cue. I especially love how she is told each time to wait for Nikki to respond, like they think the waitress won’t be able to contain her excitement and will hand out a present before Nikki says she knows who Michelle is. giphyThe rudest part of the “script” is how many times the server is simply told to “go away.” Trust me, the server can’t wait to go away. And she can’t wait for Nikki to go away either. A Red Robin waitress isn’t your own personal event planner. I hope Nikki reached into that envelope from her twin sister Michelle and handed some extra bills to the server for going above and beyond.

I guess the real question here is who the hell was even at this “celebration?” Nikki’s own children, Isabella and Landon, couldn’t be bothered to show up. Her twin sister must have been too busy celebrating her own birthday at a Denny’s down the street. Her nephew Zac phoned it in with a present he wrapped in black and everyone knows that when you wrap a birthday present in black, it means you don’t give a shit and you’ve got better things to do. And even this “someone named Jonathan” didn’t show up. He managed to get a freaking bicycle down to Red Robin but he wasn’t able to stick around to wheel it out himself? C’mon, Jonathan. What kind of a fuck buddy are you?

We cannot be sure how successful this party was. The photo was sent to me with very little explanation and I was forced to create the details on my own. What we can be sure of is this:

  1. Nikki’s friend likes to be in charge.
  2. She also knows how to change the font color in a Word Document.
  3. The restaurant staff was off the hook when it came to singing because instruction #5 makes it very clear that all is expected of them is to bring out the cake.
  4. Wheeling out a bicycle at Red Robin is the true indication that the celebration has come to an end.
  5. Nikki needs new friends who will plan something better for her birthday than a Chili Chili™Cheeseburger and bottomless fries.

24 thoughts on “Server Is Given a Script by Ultimate Control Freak

  1. Robin

    This is how it should have gone;

    Walk up to table and take drink orders ( gotta cut some slack to the folks who didn’t know the shitshow that they were invited to) serve drinks. Go away. Move the bike outside to the ally because there isn’t any room for it in the restaurant.

    Come back with an armful of gifts. Grab the blue one, throw it on the table and say “this one is from a boy”. Grab the black one and tell them it is from their disturbed nephew, throw it on the table in anger. Toss the pink one on Nikki’s lap and yell “the instructions say this one is from ISABELLA” Grab an envelope from your apron, give it to Nikki, and whisper in her ear that Michelle sent your prearranged tip in this envelope, too.

    Go outside to get the bike from the alley. Hmmm…not there…wasn’t part of the script..

  2. Alan

    I was a server at a Red Robin many years ago. I’m sure the culture within hasn’t changed much and that management at this particular location was more than accommodating of her request. RR managers are expected to please the guests no matter what and would have likely each given Nikki a piggyback ride throughout the restaurant if requested.

    I don’t miss that place at all!!!

  3. Geoff

    I’m hard pressed to believe this is even real. It can’t be. Can it? Can it?

    Oh, dear sweet god….please don’t let this be real.

    (And where was a manager in all this? Hiding in the office?)

  4. Nanc

    At the very top of the paper it says Birthday #2. Now I want to know what went down at Birthday [party, I assume] #1 . . .

  5. Barreleh

    What would be epic would be if somebody in the kitchen took the bike out to their car, or pushed it into the street or something.

    ‘Nikki, would you like a lesson in disappointment?’

  6. Juli

    I’m betting there was at least one BOGO coupon at the table and Dear Nikki’s was an “enjoy a birthday burger on us,” type thing. Total time at table: two-and-a-half hours. Total bill: $3.23. Total tip: $1

  7. Lynn

    Hand me a decent sum of money before hand and
    I’ll be your dancing monkey for a minute. Otherwise,

  8. LaFawne

    The only way this would be OK is if the server was asked in advance if they would be available to do this. AND they should be tipped handsomely for such attention to detail. No way should any server be blindsided with this request, and it would be entirely acceptable if the server said “No thanks, no can do”.
    If customer was rude about it, manager should be brought over to kick butt and take names.
    Agree that it is a sad scenario though.
    People continue to amaze me with their attitudes of entitlement!

  9. Squishy Pants

    I know it’s rude to ask for gratuity…… However….. This would be a moment I ask the person that gave me these instructions to please pay in full for the one hour of acting and bringing crap non meal related to the table. I think an upfront cash only fee $50 would be appropriate. Oh. Don’t want to pay me to do that? Well sorry I have to tend to my tables that don’t need me to give them a manicure, pick up a gallon of milk from the store, sing their child to sleep and you know….. Various other tasks that sure as fucking shit are not my job…nor give a fuck about. But thank you for dining at Red Robin! Lmao

  10. B

    My companion is 100% with the server
    The note was rude, demanding and offered 0 thanks
    Or explanation

    I don’t miss being a server and dealing with entitled and ignorant people

    But I do miss the tips and some co workers

  11. Athena

    I think this is a bit sad. It made me wonder if perhaps all the gift givers are absent either because they don’t want to be, or because they are a long way away, or because they’re dead. It’s undoubtedly odd, but I think maybe a bit of compassion for this person might not go amiss.

    1. BeBe

      Seriously Athena? Dead?
      Thats a wee tad morose. If anyone I know starts giving me presents from the deceased, I WILL have them checked into the hospital for their own best interests.

      1. Athena

        Well the whole request seems to smack a bit of the requestor being mentally unwell, and presumably the people aren’t there, so why not?

    1. Ashley Dodd

      This lady probably left a 10% tip and bitched about her French onion soup being too cold. Then too hot and ended up not eating it at all and having it taken off the bill.
      Just my assumption. She’s that person.


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