A Comment on Comments; the “Why I Hate Hot Tea” Edition

A Comment on Comments

A Comment on Comments

Earlier this week, I posted a photo (see below) on the Bitchy Waiter Facebook page about how much of a pain in the ass it is to serve hot tea. A few people who don’t understand what the “bitchy” means in Bitchy Waiter got their panties in a twist and came down on me for it. First off, I am not going to apologize for speaking the goddamn honest truth: preparing a hot tea is something that makes a little piece of my soul dry up and blow away in the wind leaving a bitter dusting of hatred all over my section. I am not saying it is justified for me to feel this way, but I am saying that it’s true. And, as is always the case with someone so small-minded like me, I have decided to respond to a few people who have the gall to disagree with me.

Deronious said: How hard is it to bring out hot water and tea bags? Cripes almighty.

Oh, Deronius, if only it were that simple. You see, though, it’s not. Getting a hot tea for someone has about as many steps to it as your name does vowels: too goddamn many. When someone says they want hot tea, their next question is inevitably “What kind do you have?” This is when I have to dig deep into my brain cells to recall all of the varieties of dried leaves that people have the option of stirring into hot water. I have to spout out that we have black tea, green tea, cinnamon apple, English Breakfast, Earl Grey, peppermint, red zinger, lemon zinger, mandarin orange, chamomile, country peach and whatever else the fuck is in that big dusty box I never refill. They will usually ask for Lipton and then I have to go find it. I also have to find a clean looking coffee cup because unlike with coffee, they will be able to see inside this mug of water when I place it before them. I also have to find a saucer, a teaspoon and then go to the bar to get a lemon wedge and something to put it in. Then I go to the reach-in to get the milk and/or cream to pour into the non-existent creamer that seems to mysteriously disappear the moment I need one and I also have to pick up some honey from wherever the hell we store honey. It’s a lot of steps for something that costs $1.50 and will maybe increase my tip by about thirty cents. So, yeah, it’s a pain in the ass.

Brenda said: So what about serving hot tea is so demeaning? I would think it would be easy as coffee or anything from the bar.

Listen, Brenda, no one said it’s demeaning to serve hot tea. I mean, it’s no more demeaning than serving a burger or a plate of pasta and we do that all goddamn day. It’s not as easy as coffee because of all the steps I mentioned earlier and it’s certainly not as easy as ordering a cocktail because I don’t have to make that. All I do is ring that in and the bartender has to deal with it. Let the bartender start his own blog about what a pain in the ass it is to make a mojito.

Elle said: I’ve heard it all now. This ‘bitchy’ (/whiny) waiter needs to go and get a real job and see how hard the rest of the workforce has it when you factor in shitty co-workers/bosses/customers AND the fact that you’re doing an ACTUAL difficult job.

Elle, please go the nearest computer, log in to Amazon and order yourself a bag of dicks to chew on, because I’m sick of the “get a real job” argument. It’s as tired as you probably are after a long hard day at the whorehouse when it’s “buy one whore and get a blow job for free” day. You think the rest of the workforce has it so much harder because they work with shitty co-workers, bosses and customers while working an “actual” job? My job is more actual than your imagined boyfriend, Elle, and some of my co-workers and bosses are the most horrible people on the planet. (I’m talking to you. Mo.) If you truly have “heard it all” you can now stop removing the wax and semen from your ears because there no longer a need for you to listen to anything else for as long as you live. Close up your earholes, close up your legs and close up your mouth. We’re done here.

As always, thank you for your comments. It’s my most sincere pleasure to read them and they fill my heart with love. Best wishes and 25% tips to all of you, bitches.

 

Fuck you and your hot tea.

Fuck you and your hot tea.

 

 

92 thoughts on “A Comment on Comments; the “Why I Hate Hot Tea” Edition

  1. Matthew

    I’ve been bartending for, as I look back at my life aghast, nigh 20 years. I’m quite good at it and consider it a VERY real job at which I earn a considerable income. One of the things I love about bartending is how extremely difficult it is to do well and how not many people have the chops to make the cut. So fuck that lady and her real job comment. I’d love to see her reduced to a quivering puddle behind my bar or out on the floor in the killing field.

    Now. Hot Tea.

    The only thing hotter than the tea I just served you is my blood for having to do so. It’s a little different for me because I am at the bar. The bar where people come to drink booze. Get thee to a fucking coffee shop you goddamn philistine. I have pretty much the same reaction to anything non alcoholic ordered by a gawping fisheyed hobgoblin sitting at my rail, but hot tea is by far the most visceral. I will think terrible thoughts at you and then I will be upset that you drove me to such terrible depths. If there is a hell, I’m headed there now because I just thought “I hope you suffer a degenerative neurological disorder and have to watch yourself forget everyone and everything you love.”.

    Parting thought:

    Many countries have mandatory military service for a couple years. I think two years mandatory work in the service industry would change the entire world.

    I salute you compatriot

    Reply
  2. Tracy

    Oh my, I LOVE the way you put it out there! I was a server and lineserver at a buffet for 10 years and worked a year as a server in a night club on the weekends. We are special people and only people who work with the public in this way understand us.
    I must say I loved the term of “poop spray”. I cried laughing so hard! God bless maids/housekeeping! That’s a shitty job! (Pun intended!)
    Love the posts! Keep ’em coming!

    Reply
  3. Beverly

    I hate lemon, cream and honey. I just want hot water, a teabag and sugar. Lol
    I love your reply to Elle, Bitchy. You are a doll! X

    Reply
  4. Beaujolais710

    Even better is when you work for a billion dollar international corporation that is too cheap to reprint the menus when they change tea companies. This is at an Asian resturant on the Vegas strip no less. Hey, how about “starting with heart” where your employees are concerned?

    Reply
  5. Deb

    I love this I like the comments about Customers and the hot tea thing I am with all the other servers in the world… thought I had a grudge all my own lol Anyways what I hate worse then serving hot tea is making a damn shake especially when you are busy! I work at a restaurant with a full menu and this is just an annoyance with the tea and the shakes. Kudos to you Bitchy

    Reply
  6. Jennifer

    I’m going to make your life easy today… I’ll have a hot tea and a oatmeal.

    It’s all I could do to not punch the customer right in the throat.

    Reply
  7. John Behiri

    We serve tea in 20 oz. tea pots that keep the water quite hit so people will get at least 2 cups. My gripe however, (call me a tea snob for being from England) is the people who ask for an extra tea bag because ours are “too weak”. These people are the ones who pour the hot water and proceed to “dunk” the tea bag 2 or 3 times and therefore determine the tea bag is to weak. Instead of putting the the tea bag in the pot and let it brew for 2-3 minutes. Common sense, no? Maybe it’s just me.
    Thanks BW- keep ’em coming!

    Reply
  8. denise mendoza

    I remember when i used to work graves, i would prep hot tea set ups, to where the only thing the server/host would have to do, is fill the cup and maybe grab a lemon or two. And the server who relieved me after my shift was so grateful because (as she was the only one there for an hour before the manager) didn’t have to spend two minutes on a single hot tea. In those two minutes alone i could run food, pick up an order or two and get coffee refills for my tables. Its just so time consuming, and, to be honest, i do cringe a little when a customer asks for hot tea.

    Reply
  9. Jessi

    Years ago I made the mistake of working breakfast at a hotel restaurant. One morning we were warned that 30 German tourists would be there for complimentary continental breakfast at 7 am. They started banging on the door at 6:50. I made the coffee super strong, cuz well, they’re German and it was Seattle in the nineties. Served 30 coffees, went to assemble a fuckload of plates (separate plate for fruit cup, separate plate for croissant, you get it) here discontented murmurings, so I go check on them. Did I mention they all had to sit at the same table? Anyways, no joke, all 30 sent back the coffee for not being strong enough and ordered, you guessed it, hot tea. Oh and I mentioned these were “complimentary continental breakfasts” , right?! Yeah. I’ll just leave that there.
    I’m a lifer, hence super twisted and I have laughed about this for years, but yes, i Hate hot tea.

    Reply
  10. Rachel

    My first job in High School was being a hostess/waitress. My second job was as a hotel maid at our local hotel. Making tea is so much better than cleaning poop spray from a sick hotel guest. What I learned from being in the food industry is that people are mean. I have Celiacs and severe food allergies and have not eaten out in 10 years. I was so depressed for years not going out with friends, I lost most of my social group. Reading this blog makes me realize that a freak like me should never go out.

    Reply
    1. Laura Parrish

      I would have NO problem finding you something to eat in our restaurant. Celiacs is a valid and scary disease. The problem with people today is they are trying to eat healthy or follow the new fads “gluten” and have become so ridiculous with their needs/demands that when someone like you come in with a valid health issue… no one wants to hear about it or help. And, cleaning up poop spray is WAY worse than making a hot tea 😉 You’re not a freak…… all the fake gluten free people are.

      Reply
  11. Dayna

    Having to make tea and hot cocoa in the middle of a busy shift are two of the most annoying things ever! And where I work, I’m the only server on the floor. It’s a one cook/one server show. It gets to the point that I say that we’re all out. Including them asking for stuff to be taken out of something that’s already premade. If it’s slow, fine. Line out the door, find something else to eat.

    Reply
  12. Breann

    “They will usually ask for Lipton and then I have to go find it. I also have to find a clean looking coffee cup because unlike with coffee, they will be able to see inside this mug of water when I place it before them.”

    I mean . . . the struggle.

    Reply
  13. turtle

    Aww man… just give me a cup, hot water, and a tea bag and I’m good to go. You can even get tap water and throw it in the microwave if you want. From now on I’m going to say that to waiters… please don’t hate me. #notallteadrinkers

    Reply
    1. Tacit Jane

      Please don’t say that to a server. Tap water in the microwave does not make it any easier. Just enjoy your tea, be polite, and tip appropriately. I’m sure you always do. Thanks for thinking of us, dear! Have a wonderful day!

      Reply
  14. Christine

    I drink tea. And always feel guilty about ordering it because it is much more involved than coffee, so I usually just wait til I get home and make it there. Please know that all tea drinkers are no a-holes.

    Reply
  15. Bitchy Bartender

    I spent 3 years as a manager at one of the largest financial institutions in the country… and serving entails more work in half the hours than I ever had to do working in management for a company that profits billions of dollars per year. So whatever “real job” you have, I could do it with my eyes closed.

    Dear Bitchy Server, please remember that as the Bitchy Bartender, I can and will lose every one of your tickets, if you pawn your bar problems onto me. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding, and please be kind to all the members of Bitchy Restaurants LLC!

    Reply
  16. Monica

    Yes. Yes to all of this. This is a perfectly executed rebuttal to all those people that have no idea what it’s like to have to hunt down the one remaining clean tea pot (or to have to wash it yourself) and scrounge up all of the remaining ridiculous requests to accompany their cup of specificity. May I take a moment to suggest that breakfast and its accouterments are a subsection of service industry hell?

    Reply
  17. Rachael

    Posts like these are the reason why I stopped ordering hot tea, lol.

    Kind of reminds me of the frustration I feel when someone asks me to reset their online password. I do other tasks and, while this is easy, I have to log on to online banking, click menus, drop down to their bank name. Find THEIR name, ask them the secret question, reset them, then wait for them to release the call. Just a pain! Lol.

    Reply
  18. From Mtl with luv

    No mother of a lie – as I was reading this post someone came in to order tea to go – “Do you have Tetley”? Pretty sure they thought I was laughing at them in my little corner while the waitress served her.

    She also ordered just toast.

    I encourage my staff and all other wait staff I encounter to read your blog. I feel like its therapeutic for them to know they are not alone.

    Reply
  19. hashslinger

    You by far are my favorite bitchy person! And hot tea drinkers should be eradicated from earth!! What is it about hot tea drinkers that make them so hoity toity? It is my belief that there should be a $10 surcharge on all hot tea! Even strippers get a percentage of the”ladies drinks” at the end of their shift. (Ladies drinks cost the client $10-$15 they are paying for Sprite with blue Curacao to sit with the girls) I view a servers time equally valuable!
    Keep on bitching babe!

    Reply
  20. Ash

    This is fucking pathetic. Oh my god you have to remember the name of soemthing your serve and actually grab some shit. Give me a fucking break.

    Reply
  21. Sara O

    And after all those steps, you have to drop off a little pot of extra hot water before they finish the first cup. God forbid they run out of hot water!

    Reply
  22. Krista

    I love the “I’ll just have a tea” request.

    The word JUST makes me want to scratch at their eyes.

    JUST? JUST a tea?

    Reply
  23. Rob

    i think it’s safe to say that there isn’t a job within the food service industry that doesn’t suck. As a cook, I happily avoid all of the guests because I know I can’t deal with them without jamming a kitchen knife through their umm…teabags. I have an incredible amount of respect for those who serve. Anyone who has never done it should shut their twit mouths about the “real job” shit. If it was so easy, everyone would be doing it.

    Reply
    1. Alexanna

      This is really great to read from a cook. Thanks for understanding. I have the utmost respect for kitchen staff as well!

      Reply
  24. Elyse

    I have bad memories of serving tea, both hot and cold. I once worked in a restaurant where this regular (she came in nearly every day) would order a large unsweetened iced tea and squeezed at least 10 wedges of lemon into the beverage along with about 12 packages of Splenda. She left behind the most incredible mess, and was a bad tipper.

    Reply
  25. Hope

    Omg I literally cringe when I hear”hot tea”. I serve a large Asian as well as elderly crowd and just want to tell them that we took it off the menu. And to Elle . . . I challenge YOU to attempt my career choice for just one weekend dinner shift. I’m sure you would be quite surprised to learn how what kind of REAL WORK it is!

    Reply
  26. Victoria

    I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ASK FOR HOT TEA!!!! Tracking down all the shit that you need for it and then ( because I actually give a shit my coworkers dont) I have to make it look pretty and I LOVE with the asshole customer gets pissed that it took me 130 seconds to bring it to them. I am the same with Hot Cocoa!! I am very good at my job and typically always in a good mood but the second the words HOT TEA come out of the customers mouth, i wish I had a little dragon on my shoulder that would set them on fire!!! Lol. I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way!

    Reply
  27. Marc

    We have to use a tea pot and let the customer pick the tea out of the box. So you’re now having to balance the tray of other drinks along with the box and the serving plate with the cup and teapot on it. It’s a toss up between hot tea and cappuccinos!

    Reply
  28. kim Barnouin

    Oh Bitchy Waiter, your sense of humor kills me, I mean who else thinks of log in to Amazon and buy a bag of dicks to chew on?! I routinely squeal with delight at your posts, and wonder how on earth you manage to nail our thoughts so perfectly. Please keep it coming!!

    Reply
  29. Sophia Star

    Hot tea is thee worst! You explained it to a T! Except I could never remember what all we had. So I had to go grab the dusty box, wipe it down, then show the customer what all was inside. We also had to serve the cup, spoon, and hot tea on a small plate. Ugh.

    Reply
  30. Cassandra

    I had no idea hot tea was such a pain in the ass! I’ll definately leave a bigger tip if me or anyone in the party asks for it though… you saucey little bitch I like you…

    Reply
  31. Rebecca

    You are goddamn right. Waiting tables is not the easiest job in the world. I’ve trained people who fail miserably at it. I’d like to see Elle try doing it, she will fail. It takes a great deal of strength not to kill the assholes that come through that restaurant door. People don’t take into account just how much we have to put up with. Go home and make your own Fucking tea!

    Reply
  32. Fontay

    Lololololololo! I love this waiter/waitress! I’m a cocktail waitress and have worked in restaurants! So when I say I understand, I understand what he/she is saying in it’s entirety! When you’re busy, it does take away from your workflow when it’s interrupted with coffee and tea! See we make our coffee with the sugar and cream in it for you already in casinos! So it sucks! Takes too much time! And by the time you’re done, half your “real” cocktail drinkers have left from their slot machine/table game because they lost all their money already!!! Thank you to all the waiters/waitresses/bartenders/servers who have the courage to tell it how it is! It’s not an easy job! Like you think!
    Very physicall and tiring! And believe it or not, a lot of people in this industry probably make more money than you people with “real” jobs would make in a year! Our server/bartender pool jobs out in Vegas in the summer from march to October and the club jobs make a lot! Don’t want to tell their business but trust me, you have no idea!! So don’t knock it, until you have worked a server job and understand!!

    Reply
  33. Brittany

    As a fellow bitchy server, I would like you to know that reading your blog warms my heart!! And I also hate hot tea drinkers with every fiber of my being!! You and your honest words (that we all think, but most don’t have the balls to utter) absolutely freaking rock!!!

    Reply
  34. Kathy

    Bitchy – I never thought about drinking coffee in a dirty cup overtime I ordered it. Tea is sounding more appealing…..Thanks for the tip.

    Reply
    1. lol

      He means coffee stains the crap out of cups so even tho it’s completely clean since it will be a little stained people assume we are giving them a dirty cup.

      Reply
  35. Granny

    So true! Hot tea is a PIMA for all the reasons above; labor intensive and an indicator of more aggravations to follow! Thank you Bitchy Waiter, and those in the comments for expressing my exact feelings about hot tea– it is good to know I am not alone in my loathing of the process.

    p.s. I myself love to drink tea at home–but never order it at restaurants—it doesn’t brew properly and it rarely tastes “right”– why oh why do they even bother!

    Reply
  36. Anna-Marie

    I always called it “the hot cup of sorrow”. Did that ‘unreal’ job for 12+ years. I work a ‘real’ job now, and don’t work half as hard or suffer like I used to. All servers out there…you do the most real job out there.

    BTW…bag of dicks? Perfection, will be using it today.

    Reply
  37. Ellen S

    Good God, I’m glad my name is just one letter short of “Elle.” You really laid into her. Was it really necessary to call her a whore just for assuming that waiting tables is not a real job? I mean, she was definitely wrong. This job is just as real as any other, but there is no reason to suddenly turn into an internet troll over it.

    Reply
    1. Amber Lane

      No I agree with you. Seems like anytime someone is taking digs at a woman they have to call her a whore and bring sexual content into it. Which is sexist behavior. But no one cares about that. If BW had been digging at someone who happened to be black, for instance, and brought racial tones into his insults, everyone would freak out because it’s not ok to be racist. But most people consider it ok to be sexist. And of course as we’ve already seen, anyone who complains about sexism gets called a whore also. On the other hand, it’s kind of amusing that the only insults most people can think of to throw at women sometimes is to call her a whore, which often they have absolutely no basis for. So they literally just throw out baseless insults that can’t hold more water than a collander.

      Reply
  38. Vicki

    I am a waitress myself. I also drink tea. You are right others are a pain in the ass with it. When I order tea at a restaurant, I ask for just regular tea and a styrofoam cup of hot water. No more fussin with it ☺. In response to those people who say get a real job, well we know what they can do! I am also a nurse. I still wait tables because I enjoy it. It makes me almost as much money! It all depends on how good you are at it, well some days it doesn’t matter what you do, you just can’t please all the assholes all the time! I love your column..keep up the good work!! Cheers!

    Reply
  39. Angela

    Not only is it a pain in the ass to assemble. But why does the water take FOREVER to come out. I swear I can get 5 other drinks ready while waiting for the water to finish. FML. And yes it takes up half the tray so I have to have someone follow me out with the other tray of drinks. So yes people it is a freaking pain in the ass to make. Screw you with your get a real job comments. This is a real job. Maybe you should try it for a while to understand our pain. What you never complain about your “jobs”??? Ok. Get a real life and quit stalking pages you “complain” about. Bitches.

    Love you bitchy waiter. Your page makes me smile. You are a wonderful writer. But I have to admit. Sometimes when I read your page I often think. I’m kinda happy I’m on disability right now. It’s sad you have to have surgery to have a vacation from your job. Lol. Have a fabulous day.

    Reply
  40. Nancy

    At work I said we needed a more appropriate name for hot tea so we named it ‘shit cup’! Love ya Bitchy!

    Reply
  41. Hippies Chick

    My favorite asshole customer ordered hot water. When I brought it out she said it was to warm her fucking hands. Bag of dicks indeed.

    Reply
  42. NinjaD

    I am completely with you on this gripe love. I loathe my life the second someone asks me for hot tea. I’ve made a little game of it though. I’m always sure to include cream and lemon with tea. Then I sit back and pray they use both and watch to see who’s to uneducated to know that lemon curdles cream. The look on their faces when they take that first hot lumpy sip makes it worthwhile. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Shari

      Been there done that. I had customer insist our cream must be spoiled because it doesn’t happen when she makes her tea at home and the customer is always right. #%*#!

      Reply
      1. Reagan

        oh my God I had a customer say the same exact thing to me! They insist I bring them new cream and of course it happened again. They were so disgusted, and I’m just standing there thinking “if you’re ‘fancy’ enough to order hot tea shouldn’t you understand the logistics behind the accoutrements?” Ugh. People. And hot tea.

        Reply
  43. Shannon

    Agree.agree.agree!!!
    Anybody that has ever served has the exact thoughts on the hot tea issue and for the exact reasons! My job even takes it one step further. I work in a restaurant with 2 stories. In which, I’m always upstairs and the hot water dispenser, aka…coffee pot is downstairs. Nightmare running downstairs to assemble a “simple” cup of tea. I think obscenities every time I hear the words “hot tea”.

    Reply
  44. Xarata

    Ah, the “real job” argument. I love how she implies that we don’t have shitty bosses, coworkers, and customers. I don’t know what she does for a living, but servers are on their feet 8-15 hours a day, lifting 35-50lbs repeatedly. So we get shitty people AND physical labor. We have degrees. Depending on what her “real job” is, most of us could probably do her real job- and absolutely still find something to bitch about 🙂

    I am guilty of ordering tea- though most of the places I order it are small and expensive, and actually bring a whole pot which is nice. I don’t hate doing it because of the steps involved-I’m fortunate that everything I need for hot tea is accessible- I hate doing it because it takes up so much damn room on my tray.

    Reply
  45. Nina Slawnikowski

    Omg, I love you. I work at a Turkish restaurant and we have to make Turkish coffee. In a metal cup over a God damned mini propane grill. It’s hell every time .

    Reply
    1. Trippmadam

      Turkish coffee is a pain in the ass. Even my Turkish friends say so.

      (It is so nice to come here after eight hours in customer service and read everybody’s comments. Thank you, guys, thank you, Bitchy, this was just what I needed to read today.)

      Reply
  46. Nicole

    I don’t think that Elle realizes that if we all went and got a “real job”, she’d be stuck cooking every single meal for herself for the rest of her life… Stupid.

    Reply
  47. Ryan

    In addition to it being a lengthy and frustrating process to assemble a hot tea, it’s also foreshadowing to what type of guest this person will be. There is no doubt that this will not be the only difficult demand they will have. These are the people that are never satisfied. These are the people that are always say it’s too cold and even though it’s an inferno. The people that are “allergic to garlic”. The people who’s soup is never hot enough. The people that say the music is too loud when it’s just a whisper. The people that wants their water without ice after it was just poured. The people that ask the busser for things it’s a never ending cycle.

    Reply
  48. Mellie

    I so wish I could tell some people I work with/for, to “log in to Amazon and order yourself a bag of dicks to chew on”…that would be the best feeling.

    Reply
    1. Nikki

      I thought that it would be great to tell someone that too. Lol. Until… I read the whole “whorehouse” and “buy one whore get a blowing for free” part. Lmao. Priceless! You’re aweome Bitchy Waiter! Keep up the great work!

      Reply
  49. Ashley S

    Not only does hot tea have a VERY disproportionate ratio of labor to cost, I’m pretty sure I could open a bottle of wine in the time it takes to assemble and deliver hot tea, it also is mostly, not always but the majority of the time ordered by people who turn out to be a pain in other ways as well. Also, not great tippers. So usually it’s the first step in a long, annoying, unprofitable experience. Over time, you just become conditioned to hate it. Kind of like how I hate people who think servers don’t do real work, and so shouldn’t complain about their imaginary jobs that they probably make more than they deserve working. Who can complain? Where is the cut off? Because I’m pretty sure I make more than most teachers and social workers, but I bet they want to complain sometimes. Maybe everyone just needs to be happy all the time and never gripe about their job. I’m going to try and summon joy and delight the next time someone wants a hot tea. And I’ll try to be extatic when I repeat the list twice and then they ask for something I didn’t say. Like I’m keeping tea secrets. And then, off I’ll skip, to find lemon and honey. Can’t wait.

    Reply
    1. Christine Mock

      I’m blessed…..no dessert or hot beverages!! There is a bit of embarrassment with a lot of satisfaction when I say sorry (not sorry) nope!!

      Reply

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