One would think that by now when someone leaves a negative comment on the blog or sends me a hateful email, I would be mature enough to let it roll off my back like water on a duck. Guess what: I’m not a duck. I am also extremely immature so when the following comment popped up on a blog post about automatic gratuity, it rubbed me the wrong way. Please read it and then please allow me the opportunity to respond:
Fuckin Whiners says: You servers are a real piece of work. If the pay and work conditions are so bad. Get a real job that pays you what you feel your [sic] worth. If you choose not to or cant, too bad for you. I don’t feel you deserve any tips. what do you? Pick up a plate and take it to a table. Yeah skilled labor. When was the last time you tipped someone who really worked for a living. The local AAA tow driver makes less then minimum wage. Are you tipping that guy who risked his ass on the freeway cause your dumb ass was too drunk to put gas. Or how about the cable guy who has to crawl under your house through the pet cemetery, so you have TV. Probably not. Every time my wife and go out to dinner and she wants to leave a tip. I calculate how much she wanted to leave and I stop by a local liquor store a give it to a bum. Same shit, a begger [sic], but at least he/she doesn’t expect it from me. And I get my windows washed.
Okay, Fuckin Whiner, how do you get off on coming to a blog called The Bitchy Waiter and feel it’s alright to slight our profession? Your argument is as poor as your syntax and use of grammar, sir. I am so sick and tired of people using the “get a real job” card that it makes me want to throw up and for once, the urge to vomit has nothing to do with the margaritas the night before.
First of all, waiting tables is a real job. We go to work, we punch in, we perform tasks that are required by our employer, we earn money while we are there and with that money we pay real bills and we also pay real taxes. What part of that seems unreal to you? Our job is more real than this “wife” you speak off because I find it hard to believe that any woman would want to marry a cheap asshole like you. Let’s call your wife what she is: a blow up doll.
Secondly, you want to know when was the last time I tipped someone who worked for a living? The day before yesterday, that’s when. I had a furniture delivery (You see, I bought two new chairs with the money that I made at my real job) and I tipped the delivery guys. As for your example about the AAA tow truck driver who makes less than minimum wage, I’d like to know where you learned that kernel of “truth.” I can’t imagine that a tow truck driver makes less than minimum wage and if he is, he has a serious lawsuit on his hands. I would suggest that he starts waiting tables so he can make more money. Besides, I don’t consider driving down the freeway “risking his ass” for his job. He’s not a firefighter scrambling through flames on the roof of a burning four-story building, he’s a tow truck driver riding down on an Interstate Highway just like everyone else does who owns a car. Regarding this cable guy who you say crawls under your house through a pet cemetery, um.. what the fuck are you talking about? Who the fuck buries dead animals under their house except for crazy fucking nut jobs? Are you saying you have a pet cemetery under your house? That is some crazy Stephen King bullshit right there, man.
Thirdly, you say that your wife wants to leave a tip when you go out to eat but you won’t let her. How 1950’s of you. Does she wear an apron and have dinner cooked when you get home from the office? Do you give her an allowance each week so she can go to the market and buy groceries? Does she have reinforced seams so that when you have sex with her she doesn’t pop and if she does pop, do you have a warranty on her? There is no way in hell that what you say is true. Mostly, I find it hard to believe that you know how to calculate a tip unless you have an app for that. Let’s say your bill is $57 and you calculate that a decent tip would be $5.70 (we all know that you would be a 10% kind of dick). You’re telling us that you actually take that $5.70 and drive to a liquor store to find a beggar and then you give it to him if he washes your windows? Bitch, please. If you’re not going to leave a tip, you should save that money to upgrade your wife from blow up doll to one of those silicone Real Dolls and finally take your relationship to the next level.
Thank you for your comment, Fuckin Whiner. (By the way, I find it hilarious that you chose a screen name that you meant to insult us with, forgetting that it’s what you have decided to call yourself, dumb ass.) Your comments are always welcome here just as your wife will always be welcome in a recycling bin for paper or plastic.
Gabrielle Lamontagne
That pet cemetery line took this guys comment to the next level lol. I’m glad you called him out! Sounds like everything he is saying is pretty fabricated
Barreleh
Mr. Whiner, do you have a real job?
And is it possible that while you’re at your real job, you spend time surfing the net in order to take what comes out of your fat ass and spew it where it will bring you the most personal satisfaction?
If you’re not taking what comes out of ass as work, or you don’t work, can’t work, won’t work, are you in your sad basement apartment doing this?
It’s gotta be one or the other.
Why?
Because under no circumstances would someone who had a life — even a modest life with a modest job and modest hopes – wouldn’t be wasting his or her time trying to get that last little bit of ugly sh*t out of their ass, so they could share it with the world. –
Jennilee
I may marry you..and I’m straight.Your blog posts are ever so entertaining and enlightening.Most refreshing!!I’ve been a bartender for 14 years..blogged my frustration in witty fun but never appreciated someone’s humor and insight on F&B as much as you!The degree you earn in F&B is invisible…but I can tell when someone sits down if they are going to be a “wife just left,scotch and water,pretentious beef consume bullshot cocktail,here for the free drinks and any male attention,8% tipper,free meal complainer etc.”..It’s called hard labor for human psychology degree.Unreal the amount of people who dare say “Do you go to school?” “Is this your part time?” “What’s next after this?” “I have a friend who is hiring if your interested to get out of..this.”People have made the assumption and classification that food industry is just a stepping stone and can’t be a career.Oh but it can!I won’t speak for my future plans but I know plenty of F&B people who had great careers…so the next time someone says such things just keep in consideration as always,you are but a humble servant,peasant girl,scrounging and scraping for scraps off of their table…and make more in an hour than his wife and him combined.Now get off of my table so I can rotate it to pleasant 20% interaction.Next!
Elyse
Loved this post, especially the part about the pet cemetery … got me laughing.
Nicole
I just got off my shift at the diner. .. this man really pissed me off!!! People have no clue what we got through to please them.. we are basically your servant for an hour… I really wish we could let people like him do what we do for one shift.. then he will change his mind.. we have 6 tables at once who are barking orders at us. Who needs refills at the same time the other table needs dessert. Then you have the kitchen ringing the bell cause your food is up. O wait table 2 needs a bread basket. Now table 5 needsc a damn side of ranch. Don’t forget table two wanted milk instead of cream for coffee… and best part your standing for 8 hrs and never get a break.. I could right a damn book about this.
Tina
He has probs never worked a whole 12 hour day in his life, we are skilled baristets(coster wankers) traind listeners, mentaly and physicaly trained for dealing with a tight arse cunt( at this point my spelling and everything is shite due to drinking 4 n a half pints plus a shot of sambucca whith in 2 hours) his wife sounds like a decent person wanting to tip a human being for listening to her ass hole bf, ( im suprised he has a real thing) summary, twisting twat who is a lazy ass, dont mock untill you try, we have alot of skills to not hit twats like you!!! And still smile at your cheap ass , thank you and good night. ( shove a dime up your ass as you will need it satan fucked you up the arse when office work goes out of fassion you fat fuck x
Charlotte Server
KMAC, I LOVE YOU! My sentiments EXACTLY! I make more from my serving job than I ever did in the “real” workforce. And I don’t have strings attached! I can take vacations when I want, work as many shifts as I want without anyone complaining about overtime. And I LOVE my customers! So wouldn’t it surprise Mr. Complainer that I take care of my elderly parents, own a house, cars, savings, 401K, IRA am WAY over insured AND have disposable income in case I WANT to go on vacation. And did I mention, I am not married, I am single. Making my way on my own! How is that for a “real job” Mr. Complainer?????
Charlotte Server
You have to laugh at this ignorant mans comments! After all, it is the man who thinks he knows it all who actually knows the least! I’m sure he didn’t go to college! I did and I use my sales ability to make more than this guy does. I’m sure that’s another insecurity. But back to the point…he is probably the guy who doesn’t know we make $2.13 per hour because it keeps food cost down for the customer, and in itself is “(TIPS)To Insure Prompt Service”. He is probably under the assumption that we make “regular” minimum wage, not “server” minimum wage.
So next time you want to curse this ignorant, self-centered, classless, waste of DNA, just remember, his ignorance and spite will bite him. I just hope you get to see it happen!!!
Kmac
I was in the service industry for years, with jobs ranging from bus girl, server, bartender, shift leader, and manager. I often heard the “real job” remark, and it never ceased to piss me off. At the young age of 23, I was earning almost $50,000 a year bartending in the Chicago suburbs, while attending college during the day. I continued serving while my children were young, and finally finished my nursing degree last year (because “real job”.) Wanna know something? I MADE MORE MONEY AS A SERVER THAN AT MY “REAL” NURSING JOB! Wanna know something else? Being a server prepared me for the insanity of multitasking with multiple patients, and for dealing with assholes with a smile on my face. This backwards ass hat from bumble fuck is most likely collecting unemployment from the rectum boil and fungal infection that left him unable to work for a living, and thereby living off of the taxes that we all pay. So Fucking Loser, kindly fuck off, and go back to your Honey Boo Boo marathon, your blow up wife, your undeserved disability check, and your pathetic life, because all of us current and former bitchy waiters have a job to get to.
shanti
your fricking awesome !!!!!
Monica
I agree with Ashley…..let this inbred backwoods idiot wait tables for a night and would love to watch him crash and burn. We know all people with this “they just bring plates of food” attitude would have a newfound respect for us if they even knew a fraction of what we really do and go through!! Bitchy Waiter is my hero!!
colleen
SO…a “bum” spitting on his window and rubbing it with a dirty newspaper is worth that tip but his server running back and forth all night to make sure his bowl of ranch and jack & coke never run out isnt?
Got it, thanks.
Susan
I’d really like to know what this douche does for a living.
Ryan
After reading his comment I found this entire post to be extremely spot on. Well said. Gave me a good laugh too toward people like that.
FelixIsAGirl
My problem with people like this is severe. I bartend and wait tables, so because I do these things I become a multitude of other things. I am now your therapist (because let’s face it folks, after a couple of drinks you tell me your whole life’s story). I’m a customer service representative (I get to listen to all of your complaints! Yay me!), a trivia dispute master (thank you internet), your gopher (because let’s all face it, when you say you want something I have to get it), your best friend (because you come to see me specifically when I’m working, and especially when you want more booze), your daytime/nighttime girlfriend/boyfriend (I’m not really. Please stop following me), and many more. And these are just things I do for YOU, not including the actual tasks I have to accomplish throughout my day for my employer. Now try being all of those things for ten or fifteen tables during a dinner rush when you’re short on wait staff. I dare you.
And as for tipping, I tip anyone I feel deserves a tip for their services, including my mechanic who still gives me the “are you sure” look every time because he NEVER receives tips. Most people in the service industry are probably better tippers, simply because we all know how it is. So, Fuckin Whiner, Piss off.
-Felix
CDuncan
Well said!
Deedee
I was a server and I love your blog. All of your replies are right on target and so damn hilarious that I almost pre in my pants from laughing so hard. The things that customers say are so stupid and the funny thing is they either don’t realize how ignorant they sound or they just don’t care. Really, how hard is it to hit the spell check on your phone, I-Pad, or computer to make sure you spelled customer correctly. It really is mind boggling how they can act the way they do and say the things they say and not realize how horrible they truly are. My dad would come back from the grave and beat my ass if I even thought about saying or doing half of what some customers do. I sometimes feel sorry for them, because they’re so ignorant and they probably can’t help it. It was most likely they way they were taught and the only way they know how to act. One afternoon I had the pleasure of serving the customer from hell and she did everything possible to ruin my day. She was with 2 other ladies and they were so nice, I had to wonder why they were even having lunch with her. Anyway, she complained about everything and ran me todeath, so much so that I was in the weeds with my other tables. Needless to say she paid for their lunch and after all the bull s##t she put me through, had the audacity to leave me $3.00 on a $70.00 check. I was so angry that I chased her down, gave her back the money, and politely told her that she must need this more than me. Well, I lost my job that day and I didn’t even care. It was so worth it to tell her off and to see the look on her face. If I had it all to do over, I would most definitely do it again. Ignorance is not an excuse. People need to treat others like they would want to be treated, with respect!!!!!!!
Misha French
Seriously. I hate get a real job seriously for 2.13 I stand on my feet for eight hours or longer really who clocks on time. I walk in circles over ten miles a day carrying twenty pounds on one hand have to smile at crappy people bust tables wash dishes and work cash register yet when I leave with over hundred in pocket spend it on kids etc yeah it’s worth it oh and don’t forget we may or may not eat or pee for the day
DeBora
Are you sure you are not a nurse, oh wait I don’t get tips BUT I always tip my waitstaff well.
TK808
Imagine if there were no restaurants… B/c nobody wanted the title of ‘server’… Now where would all you ignorant a**holes, who have “Real” jobs, eat?! Oh no!! What would you do??? My guess is probably STILL find something to complain about.
TK808
Why does everyone consider being a server not a real job? Then that would make a secretary not a real job… All they do is answer phones. Or a nurse… All they do is assist the DR. Or a librarian… All they do is check out books. Or a flight attendant. You catch my drift? Going to college and being fortunate enough to become a lawyer or Dr.are not the only “real” jobs. We have tasks to perform throughout our day, specific jargon we have to learn to communicate efficiently, part of the job is mental (remembering every ingredient in every dish for all your deadly gluten-nut-dairy-shellfish allergies)/ and part physical (stacking plates in hand, or on a tray. Performing behind the scenes side work loading glasses or carrying 20+lbs of silverware to stock up). F*ck You if you think its not a real JOB. You must live such a sad, lonely life with no one who loves you, or better yet tolerates you.
Kathy Bishop
Have never thought of cleaning windshields at a liquor store to earn booze! Brilliant.
cory
lol!!! love it!
Trippmadam
Fuckin’Whiner sounds like someone who would let a beggar clean his windshield and then drive off without giving the beggar a tip.
Allmyserverslookrichasfuck
Oh no us poor low life servers. Crying all the way to the bank :*(
I hate people like this never able to put themselves in other shoes. His wife is so lucky to have met someone so tolerant I bet she doesn’t even have to (isn’t allowed to) leave the house! Wow lucky girl. Tell your wife I make more money than you and to swing by. :-*
Ashley
If being a waiter is so easy, he should be forced to work a shift or two. What a douche.
DaveJ
He sounds like a fine example of an average ‘murican citizen.