Screaming Children Will NOT Be Tolerated!

We all know how I feel about babies in restaurants. It’s not that I hate babies. Really, I don’t. I just want parents to control them when they are in restaurants (and movie theaters, planes, subways, grocery stores, bars, liquor stores, porn shops and the world in general.) I have never been mean to a child when I am at work and even when I am eating out and there is some adorable tot playing peek-a-boo over the booth behind me, I will tolerate it. But a restaurant in North Carolina finally put up the sign that we have been wanting to make ourselves for years. “Screaming children will not be tolerated!” I say bravo to the owner of Olde Salty’s for standing up and making her restaurant a place that she wants to be in. You know that sign stirred up all kinds of controversy when they taped that shit to the door. The stroller moms probably formed a brigade and rolled down the street chanting “Just because my baby cries, doesn’t mean I can’t have fries!” They pelted the manager with baby wipes and formula bottles while the whole time the babies were thinking, “I don’t even give a shit, let’s go to fucking Chuck E. Cheese and call it a day.” According to the owner of the restaurant, business has never been better. Of course! There is a whole demographic out there who will flock to a place if they know that their eardrums won’t burst when Junior wants another cracker.

People who don’t have kids don’t necessarily want to be around them. It’s a fact. Many of us have made the conscious decision to be childless because we would rather spend our money on vacations, dinners, cocktails and electronics than new shoes every six months, school supplies, college educations and whatever else a child might need, like food. One time I worked with a woman who told me that I was selfish for not having children. She actually got mad at me that I was old enough to have children, in a relationship and still didn’t want to have kids. To me it seems more selfish to have a kid when you don’t really want it. If I can’t take it to the kennel or throw down a wee wee pad for it when I go out of town, then no thank you. She was shocked. Keep in mind this “shock” was coming from someone who was pregnant with her third baby and she didn’t even realize she was with child until she was 7 months along. Wow, there’s an attentive mother for you.

I may rant too often about kids in my station, but it’s my blog and I can rant if I want to. Lately, there have been a lot of Anonymous haters who get on here and complain about what an ass I am. To them I say this: the blog is called The Bitchy Waiter. The title should give you a general idea about what the blog will be about. If this is not your cup of (not hot enough, herbal) tea, then maybe you should find a blog that is more up your alley. If this is not up your alley, then shove it up your ass. Okay?

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