Who All Gets Tipped These Days?


As a tipped employee who only makes a mere hourly pittance, is anyone else sick to death of the fucking tip jars at every possible place? Now I get it that everyone would like a tip. Who doesn’t, but why is there a fucking tip jar at the grocery store? I know these women aren’t making $20 an hour or anything, but I am sure they are making more than the $4.65 that I make. These dog-gone blasted tip jars all over the place are desensitizing the world to people who actually rely on tips to survive. Is Susan at the Starbucks claiming those tips that she makes and then paying taxes on them? Hell, no. Or is the dry cleaner? Why in the pudding pops do I need to feel obligated to tip the dry cleaner? Isn’t it enough that I don’t tip him at Christmas time but now I have to not tip him every week? Before anyone jumps all down my throat about how the lady at the grocery store isn’t making enough money and the tips help her, let me say this. Nobody is making enough money, grocery store lady. She at least gets a paycheck, which I do not. My most recent paycheck was for sixty-eight cents. I had to walk my lazy ass all the way to the bank to deposit 68¢. It hardly seemed worth it and I almost tossed the check in the trash, but if it was two quarters, a dime, a nickle and three pennies I wouldn’t throw that away so I deposited the check. But after customers tip the grocery store lady and the Starbucks bitch and the dry cleaner by the time they get to me at a restaurant they’re all thinking “I’m sick of tipping these bitches all day. Fuck it. I stiff this one!” and I’m all, “But wait, my paycheck is only gonna be 68 cents…”

Tell me, am I wrong? Is this clearly not a desensitization (major points for the six syllable word, right?) of tipping resulting in less money in the pockets of those who rely solely on tips alone? I say revolt. Pocket your spare change and save it for something that really matters. When the bagel guy gives you two dimes back as change, don’t put it into that styrofoam cup taped to the register. You save it and give it to the next waiter you see. The guy who only makes $4.65 an hour and gets paychecks for 68¢.

Amen.

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