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Smug Customer Overcharged $4 and Can’t Handle It

ugh.

ugh.

It seems that the Internet has introduced us to the newest asshole customer of the week and boy oh boy, he’s a real doozie. According to Boston.com, a man named Ben Edelman ordered some Chinese food from Sichuan Garden and was overcharged by $4. Since Ben is an associate professor at Harvard Business School who apparently has lots of free time, he decided to complain about the discrepancy between the prices on the online menu and what the prices actually are. No, Yelp wasn’t good enough for Ben and neither was going to a Facebook page to complain. Since Ben is like that dingleberry that hangs on to the three hairs on your dog’s asshole and just won’t let go, he sent some strongly worded emails to the manager, each one more filled with legalese gobbledygook and threats than the last. Even though the manager, Ran Duan, apologized and offered to refund the $4, Ben had a major case of diarrhea of the emails and kept on going.

I can’t write anything that better showcases what a douche Ben is than what Ben wrote himself and it’s all below for you to read. In the meantime, here is Ben’s Twitter page if you’d like to say hello. Judging by that profile picture, he likes to remember what he used to look like, because on his official Harvard page, he looks a little bit (a lot of bit) older. The smugness is just as strong in each picture, because time does not wear away smug.

Finally, since we know Ben likes to send out emails that threaten legal action, let me reiterate that everything I say in this article is solely my opinion and I am within my legal rights to state what my opinion is of Ben. (This is in case he ever sees this and wants to send me an email and if he does, you know I will post it for you to read.)

Congratulations, Ben. You are the Asshole Customer of the Week!

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Worst Moment of the Night Ever

77fMc4P

That moment your table asks why their food is taking so long and you realize you never rang it in.

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Clawing My Way To the Top (With Your Help)

vote for me, please

vote for me, please

Who would have thought that when I started this silly little blog six years ago that it would grow into what it has become today: a silly slightly larger blog. The reason I became a server back in the late 1800‘s was because the flexible schedule and decent income allowed me to pursue my acting career. When I moved to New York City, waiting tables was the only job I could find that would let me trade shifts to go to auditions or maybe even leave for a few weeks if I was cast in a show. Fast forward 150 years, and I finally decided to write and produce my own show called The Bitchy Waiter Show. It was a live 90-minute performance of storytelling, comedy and singing and it happened over the summer of 2014. Lo and behold, people came to see it! And then lower and beholder, the show was nominated for Best Show by a Male for a BroadwayWorld Cabaret Award. No, it’s not a Tony Award or an Oscar or even a People’s Choice, but I’m excited about it, but I need your help to win. And by “help” I mean “votes.”

The award committee sent me email that said, “please encourage those who saw your show to vote for you, not 10,000 people who never saw it but read your blog. I think you understand.” I take that as a challenge. The thing is, I know a lot of you did see the show live. And even more of you saw it when I posted it online. There are clips of the show still available for viewing (see below) so I don’t feel bad asking you to vote for me. We live in a democracy where people vote for who they want to win and they base their vote on whatever they choose to base it on and let’s face it: name recognition and fan base is more than half the battle. I mean, do we think California voters chose Arnold Schwarzenegger as their governor because of his political ideology or because they saw him in Terminator? I don’t feel like I should be punished for having a larger fan base than some of the other nominees and I am not doing anything different than they are by asking Facebook followers and website readers to vote. So, will you vote for me?

You can click this link to do it. It will take about five minutes to vote, but the site will ask for an email and for you to create a user name. (This is that perfect opportunity to use that extra email address that we all have for just this purpose!) You will find me under the category of Best Show, Male, but please click a nominee in every category. (Jaime Hartman in Debut Category is amazingly talented and also waits tables with me while Lorinda and Ted in the Best Duo Show are more than deserving and Lorinda also waited tables with me for years!)

Again, I know it’s asking a lot of you to do this, but I would appreciate it very much. When I first conceived this show a couple of years ago, I never thought it would be so well-received and to get a nomination for Best Show is thrilling. But now want I more: I want to win. Right now I am in second place, but with your help, that can change.

Click here to vote for me and let’s see what the awards committee has to say about that.

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Man Feeds Olive Garden to Homeless: Humanitarian or Monster?

random-acts-pasta

Have you seen the video that is going somewhat viral about the guy from Utah who used his Never Ending Pasta Pass from Olive Garden to commit random acts of pasta? He said he bought the pass and then was like, “Whoa, I can’t eat this much pasta. I’ll give it away to my friends and the homeless.” He wrote a blog about it and of course he made a video too because in this day and age, nothing is for real until it’s been documented on a cell phone and then put on the Internet.

 

 

 

 

The guy’s name is Matt Tribe and the Pasta Pass was used a total of 125 times. The pass was only good for 7 weeks, but he definitely got his hundred bucks out of it. According to his blog, he went to a total of 11 different Olive Gardens, one day using it 9 different times. And on another day he visited 5 different Olive Gardens. In my quick Google search, I only see 10 Olive Gardens in the whole state of Utah so I guess one day he made a quick hop over to Wyoming or Idaho to pick up some bread sticks and fettuccine alfredo. He made a list of every person he gave food to and of the 125 times, it looks he gave food to the homeless on 10 different occasions. According to the list, some chick named Mandy scored free pasta 11 times so I think it’s safe to assume that Matt thinks more of Mandy than he does people who sleep in the park. Nice, Matt, real nice.

There are lots of people who think this is a heart-warming story that shows how mankind can rise to the occasion to help those who are less fortunate than others. Then there are a bunch of Bitter Betty’s out there who say the whole thing is a marketing ploy by Olive Garden just to gain sympathy for a company who is experiencing a decline in sales. I watched the video many many times and I might be one of those in the Bitter Betty camp. (Typically, I hate camping, but if there are Smores involved with a bunch of Betty’s who are bitter, then sign me up.)

The video is very well done and Matt thanks his friend Ben Taylor who is one of the “most talented filmmakers in Utah” for helping him with it. But I have to question a couple of things. Matt says that he didn’t really come up with the whole “random acts of pasta” until after he got his pass, claiming he decided he couldn’t eat that much pasta himself. Also, he writes that he arrived home from work on September 19th to discover a little package from UPS sitting on his porch. Was his friend Ben sitting inside the house with a camera waiting for Matt to get home to open the envelope so that moment could be filmed? Why was that filmed if the idea had not sprung yet? And why did he wait a full two and a half weeks, until October 10th, before giving the food to a homeless person for the first time? If his intent from the very beginning was to feed the homeless and make a video about it, I could understand why there would be footage of him opening the pass, but wouldn’t he have started distributing the food to the needy right away? I guess Mandy was more important. In the video, he says “Olive Garden” about a hundred times. Okay, it’s really only 8 times, but c’mon, if I was giving food to a homeless person, I think I would just call it “food” or “pasta” and not “Olive Garden.” And I guess he just happened to be wearing a mic pack that day so that everything would be audible and clear  just in case they were going to make this video go viral. It also seems a bit suspicious that the video is the only one Matt has ever posted on YouTube and this one just happened to go up right around Thanksgiving. Olive Garden has denied any connection to the event because of course they would. Let’s think about something else. Is this what Olive Garden had in mind when they offered the pasta pass? For people to get 125 meals for $100, sometimes up to 9 meals in one day and then give it away to people? I doubt it.

Uh huh, right.

Uh huh, right.

Bottom line is that Matt made his friends happy by giving them free food and 10 times out of 125 (8%) he gave it to homeless people and no one one can say that’s a bad thing. The people in the video seem appreciative unlike the homeless man I approached a few years ago after a pizza party with a whole pizza to offer him. He asked me what kind it was and when I told him it had mushrooms on it, he turned his nose up at it and told me to go the fuck away.

I want to believe this is legitimate and that it was fun for Matt, but it seems like it would take a lot of time and gasoline to be able to do this every day. I mean, the Olive Garden in Riverdale, Utah is 49 miles away from the one in Logan, Utah and we don’t even know where the 11th Olive Garden he went to was. Did Matt just take a few weeks off from work to drive around the Beehive State without a care in the world about employment? Who knows? I want to believe, but I’m just too much of a Bitter Betty. What do you think?

You can visit Matt’s blog here and find him on Twitter here.