Author Archives: The Bitchy Waiter

About The Bitchy Waiter

I wait tables and bitch about it on my blog, The Bitchy Waiter.

This Is Something We Can All Be Thankful For

It’s Thanksgiving and everyone who is reading this has at least one thing to be thankful for. It might be difficult to be thankful when you’re struggling to come up with enough money to pay your phone bill. Or maybe it’s easy to forget how grateful you are for something when you have to work a double on Thanksgiving day just so you can stay on the schedule next week.

But we all have something to be thankful for and sometimes we just need to be reminded of it.

A few days ago, I learned that one of my coworkers died on Wednesday. He was about 40 years old and had colon cancer. We haven’t actually worked together for about nine months because he had been in an out of the hospital, but he was still an employee. (Full disclosure: I have another part-time job not in the restaurant industry and this is where we worked together.) Marlin was fit and strong and had muscles on top of his muscles, but still couldn’t beat the cancer. About two months ago, he came to work again and we were all surprised and delighted to see his smiling face. By 4:00, he had to leave, because he was too tired. That was the last time I saw Marlin. Two weeks ago, I sent a letter to him in the hospital letting him know how often we at work thought about him and what an inspiration he was to me. The positivity he had was mind-boggling. Every time I spoke to him about his cancer, he had no doubt he would be okay. He smiled through his pain and made me a better person for it. If I received a diagnosis like Marlin, I would have curl up in a little ball and given up, but Marlin didn’t do that. He fought until the very end and I will always aspire to do that in any difficult situation.

As Thanksgiving day approaches and so many of us sit at a table with our family or our friends, I can’t help but think of Marlin’s family who will have an empty spot at their dinner table and an empty hole in their hearts. Marlin is gone, but if you’re reading this, you’re not. And that is something to be thankful for.

You are alive.

You are alive.

You are alive.

Please take a moment to be thankful for that. Forget that Table 7 is annoying you. Pay no mind to that crack on your iPhone screen. If only for one minute, take the time to appreciate life. No matter how difficult it may seem at times, be thankful that you can breathe in an breath out. To anyone who is dealing with the loss of a loved one, please know that you are surrounded by people who care about you. While mourning one loss, recognize what you still have: life.

Happy Thanksgiving, Marlin. I am thankful you were a part of my life.

Going To Eat in a Restaurant For Thanksgiving? Read This.

  1. Be on time for your reservation. If a restaurant is going to go to the trouble of holding a table for you, the least you can do is be on time for it.
  2. Your server is working hard. Thanksgiving is one of the busiest days in a restaurant, right up there with Valentine’s Day. Except on Thanksgiving, we’re serving large parties of bickering families instead of two-tops who are deeply in love. It’s not easy.
  3. Your server is not spending Thanksgiving with their family. In a lot of restaurants, working on Thanksgiving day is required, so sometimes we have to strap on an apron whether we want to or not. But hey, if we can’t be with our families on Thanksgiving we can at least make some great money. We hope.
  4. There’s a menu. Use it. Look, the chef, or whoever, already decided on the menu for Thanksgiving. It’s a done deal. We don’t care that Little Tommy Jr. will only eat a grilled cheese sandwich with the crusts cut off. If you don’t see grilled cheese on the menu, don’t fucking ask for one. Besides, maybe it’s time for Little Tommy Jr. to learn how to eat like an adult.
  5. The food is gonna take a while. It’s crowded in a restaurant on Thanksgiving day because every table in the restaurant is seated. And there are about a million other people waiting for those tables so the kitchen might be a little backed up. Have another glass of wine and fucking deal with it.
  6. The tip isn’t just for your server. In practically any restaurant, part of the tip you leave for your server goes to someone else too. It might be the guy who ran the food and cleared the table or maybe some of it goes to the hostess and some of it definitely goes to the bartender. So remember this: if you stiff your server you’re stiffing a lot of people.
  7. When you’re finished eating, get out. As I mentioned earlier, there are literally a million people waiting for you to leave so they can sit at that table and get their turn to stuff their guts. I’m not saying that as soon as you swallow the last bite of pumpkin pie that you need to leave, but within ten minutes or so, you should be re-buckling your belt and heading out.
  8. Say thank you. Say it to every single person you encounter while dining out on Thanksgiving Day. Most of us who work in restaurants are happy to be at work and want to do a great job of serving you. But it makes it 100% better when we know our customers appreciate what we’re doing. So say thank you. After all, that’s what Thanksgiving is all about, right?

This Boss Does Not Care That Your House is On Fire, Just Get To Work

The restaurant industry is full of wonderful bosses and managers who truly care about their staff. They know that a happy staff makes for happy customers and when you treat your employees with respect, that respect will trickle down to customers making for a restaurant where people are happy to both work and dine there.

And then there are managers like the one who sent a heartless text message to someone going through the wildfires in California. After having the mandatory evacuation lifted for their place of business, it was back to the grind for the employees. However, when one person named Hunter let the boss know that his house was still under evacuation and asked if he still needed to come to work, this is the response he received.

I understand that your house is on fire and hope that you and your family are safe! I really care and hope everything is good! But yes please we are going to be open tomorrow so please come to work! Everyone else already confirmed that they will be there tomorrow.

What the fuck? I’m assuming this place of business is a restaurant since it was sent to me and I’m the go-to expert on shitty restaurant experiences, but it could very well be a retail store or some other crap place to work. It doesn’t matter. A manager needs to have some fucking empathy every once in a while and if you have an employee who is literally watching their life go up in flames, maybe it would be best if that person didn’t have to go to work today.

How can they be expected to focus on anything as mundane and trivial as the the temperature of a fucking cheeseburger when everything they own is turning to ash? And maybe this person only had minutes to leave their home and grab their most essential personal belongings and in their rush to grab photo albums, birth certificates, family heirlooms and their pet, they didn’t have time to grab their fucking apron and non-slip shoes.

Thank you to the person who sent this image to me. And to Hunter, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you are going through this horrible disaster and I’m sorry you have a cold, unfeeling boss. If you did go to work on this day, I hope you managed to get through it without crying. If you se this blog post, please reach out to me so I can get the full story.

What is happening in California right now is catastrophic. If anyone wants to help the victims of the fires, here are a few places you can donate money to:

Waiters Smash Cake Into The Faces of Rude Customers

Every now and then, we in the service industry are gifted with a video that fills us with joy and gratitude. A video that lets us know we are not alone in this world when it comes to dealing with a customer who has a stick so far up their ass that while they are screaming at us we can see a tiny twig tickling their tonsils.

This is that video.

It happened in the Ukraine. Two women are seen berating two servers who apparently can no longer take the verbal abuse. Instead of going into the walk-in cooler and punching a slab of bacon, one of the servers does what we all have dreamed of doing and smashes a cake into the obnoxious customer’s face. Not to be outdone, the other server then picks up a cake and does the same thing.

I just peed a little in my pants with excitement.

And the most exciting thing is that the restaurant has decided to stand behind their servers saying, “The clients were very rude. The waiters could not stand their tone any longer and did what they did. The situation was provoked by the clients, the waiters will not be punished.”

Okay, I just completely peed my pants and I’m okay with it.

Please watch the video again and again and again because it’s a slice of pure fucking heaven. And if anyone finds out this video is fake, I don’t wanna know. 

Chef Kills Customer and Then Serves Him to Vegetarians

The scene at the restaurant. (Picture: Oriental Daily)

Hold on to your stomach because it’s about to plunge into your lower appendages when you read what happened at a restaurant in Bangkok, Thailand. The owner/chef at a restaurant called Lat Krabang ALLEGEDLY got into an argument with a man who he ended up stabbing six times and killing him. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he then ALLEGEDLY cut him up and served him to some vegetarians who were just looking for a nice dish of noodles.

What the bloody hell?

I mean, if he killed the guy, fine. Not that I think it’s okay to just go off and kill someone, but why on earth did he need to serve him to some unsuspecting vegetarians? Those vegetarians had nothing to do with it.

“Hmm, is that tofu?” Wonders the customer at table 16.  “Or maybe it’s pork they accidentally added to my dish. Or a piece of chicken maybe? Hey wait a minute!”

And that’s when they call the waiter over to the table.

“Excuse me, I’m a vegetarian and there seems to be a tiny bit of human being in my dish. Can I speak to the manager? Also, I’m assuming this will be comped.”

“Oh, yeah,” says the server. “I just saw the chef empty the cash register and run out the back door.” He looks at the bowl of noodles. “Oh, that for sure looks like some human being there right next to the basil leaf. Let me get you something else. Can I interest you in a green tea or sweet sticky rice with mango?”

“This is unheard of,” screams the customer. “I can’t wait to get home and leave a one star Yelp review for this place!”

The remains of the victim, a man named Prasit Inpathom, were found in a septic tank behind the restaurant. Police are on the look out for the chef who is on the run.

Original story found here.

EDIT: Apparently, this gruesome tale is not true although it is completely understandable. We all know a chef who would cut you if you looked at him the wrong way. According to this website, the man was murdered but there is no indication he was chopped up and served with some noodles and broth.

Servers in Venice Work in Major Flood (video)

We all have our reasons for not wanting to go to work at our restaurants each day. Maybe you need a personal day because you’ve had three clopens in a row or maybe your uniforms are all dirty or maybe you just need a full day without someone asking you if their burger is ready. Whatever the reason, it’s justified. However, just be happy you don’t work in Venice, Italy.

The city is three-quarters under water because of severe weather and rising tides, but don’t worry. Climate change isn’t a real thing. Anyway, the flooding could possibly get as bad as it was all the way back in 1966 which is way before most you who are reading this were even born. Hell, it was before I was born and I’m as old as the bottle of ketchup I refilled last week for the 1000th time. The city of Venice is used to it though and life goes on. And by “life goes on” I mean that the restaurants stay open. Those servers slip on some galoshes and carry pizzas to hungry tourists giving no mind to the ankle deep water.

So the next time you don’t want to go to work, just think of the servers in Italy and what they have to deal with it. I suppose the one good thing about the restaurant being flooded is that the sidewalk is easier: no mopping.