Woman Has the STUPIDEST Reason for Leaving a Bad Review

There are so many clueless customers wandering about in our world and ending up in our restaurants. Each day, we come across one who is more pea brained than the one before and I feel it is my duty to educate these people so their brains can grow beyond the size of a pea and maybe aspire to be as big as a green grape or maybe even a walnut. Today’s uneducated customer is Gaby who does not recommend a restaurant called Spitz and the reason she does not recommend them has got to be the stupidest, most ridiculous reason I have ever come across.

Short version: Gaby wanted a place to eat her leftover tacos and do some work on her laptop while enjoying the sunshine. Because of road construction, I guess her usual park bench, milk crate, or flattened out cardboard box that she usually sits on was unavailable so she went to Spitz to sit on their patio.

Says Gaby: “I realize we didn’t purchase our food from them but I did not expect them to come outside and tell us to leave.”

Really, Gaby? You thought it would be alright for you to take up a table at a restaurant that you didn’t order food from? A “tiny little outdoor table” is just as important as an “indoor booth.” Did you think they would welcome you with open arms and thank you for using up space reserved for paying customers? Wake up and smell the idiocy, Gaby.

“If I owned a restaurant and a someone wanted to sit at my outdoor table and work on their laptop I would never go and tell them to leave,” she says.

Here is my suggestion to you, Gaby. Please do go and open a restaurant and let us know where it is. That way, we can all show up to it with our homemade sandwiches or something that came from Spitz and sit in your establishment. We will also bring our laptops and work there all day long using your wifi. You will have free wifi, right, because you totally should. You absolutely must. And then, when you have a customer who wants to actually pay money to sit in your restaurant but all of the tables are full with those of us eating leftover tacos, you can just tell them, “sorry, we’re fully booked.” And then at the end of the day when you are counting your receipts, you will realize why you can’t let non-paying customers use your restaurant as a place to hang out. That’s what fucking parks are for. Come on, Gaby.

Maybe Gaby just doesn’t see what she did as wrong, but I am hopeful that my gentle and nurturing lesson in restaurant etiquette will clear things up for her. I am also hopeful that she will see the error in her taco eating ways and eventually delete this review. Surely if enough of us share this post, it will make its way back to her and she’ll be all, “Oh my god, thank you, Bitchy Waiter. Thank you for teaching me that I am not the most important person in the world and that a business owner has every right to ask someone to leave if they aren’t a paying customer. I know now and the next time I want to eat leftover tacos in the sunshine while working on my laptop, I will walk past all the construction until I find an appropriate place to do so. God bless, you Bitchy Waiter. You’re the greatest.”

You’re welcome, Gaby.

8 thoughts on “Woman Has the STUPIDEST Reason for Leaving a Bad Review

  1. Mel

    Not only is she taking up a table, but someone’s going to have to clean it after her. You want to use a table? Don’t get your food to go, and eat it in the restaurant you bought it from.

    Reply
  2. Geoff

    Gaby’s a textbook moron. There are so many of them. Here’s another: had a DoorDash driver pick up an order *that he placed for himself* and then ask if he could sit in the restaurant to eat it. Needless to say, I told him no. Yeesh!

    Reply
    1. Monica R.

      That’s a moron move but not quite as egregious, in my opinion. At least he spent some money there and he did ask first. I can forgive him. But Gaby, forget about it!

      Reply
  3. S. A. M.

    Wow! This one is hilarious, entitled person who’s not even a customer. Your advice is on point as usual. We’ve had issues at the restaurant I work in with actual paying customers and sometimes even actual work meetings where ppl order the bare minimum, take up space and work until their laptops are dead and then even have the nerve to ask us if we can charge their laptops but we won’t for obvious reasons, like, you’ve been here for hours and it’s time to go now. We don’t even offer WiFi and they still do it, the only ppl I feel bad for are tourists(well, tipping tourists that is). I’ve watched cafes turn into offices, you look around and everyone is working, I chat with the staff and they complain about how hard it is to make any money because ppl aren’t buying anything and are using all of their tables as rent free offices. I sometimes wonder if it’s just San Francisco that has this problem with so many ppl able to work from wherever. Even if you’re in a cafe with WiFi it’s completely rude to do what Gaby was trying to do at a restaurant with her leftovers and outside tables when the weather is nice are prime real estate, she obviously knows that or she wouldn’t have sat there even with the construction and everything. You need to buy something and then you need to keep buying stuff, you can’t just get a lousy cup of coffee and work for 6 hours rent free, bc if you do you’ll run your favorite cafe out of business and you’ll have to look for a new office somewhere and I doubt the new cafe will have as lenient policies. Cafes used to be cozy but I get why they’re all remodeling and making them look sterile with a lot of open spaces and less tables etc. it probably has nothing to do with esthetic and everything to do with ppl hanging out all day if given the chance.

    Reply

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