Open up your mouths and every other orifice because it’s that time of year again when everything will suddenly become pumpkin spiced, from coffee to candles to condoms. Not to be outdone, Olive Garden is jumping on the pumpkin bandwagon by introducing a limited time only Pumpkin Cheesecake.
The dessert has a chocolate cookie crust, pumpkin cheesecake, with a layer of brownie, and a drizzle of chocolate fudge on top. And if that wasn’t enough it comes with a side of whipped cream too because is it really pumpkin flavor without a dollop of whipped cream? No, Karen, it isn’t. It will be on the menu at Olive Garden starting on September 24th, but if you absolutely cannot wait for it, you don’t need to. This week, the restaurants will have a small supply on hand if you want it now. Olive Garden is calling it a “sneak peak week.” But how do you get it if it’s not on the menu? There is a special secret code you have to use and I have it for you here.
After you sit down and as soon as your server approaches the table, you must be ready. Say the following exactly as written:
Pumpkin, pumpkin on the plate. I must have pumpkin, I can’t wait.
Pumpkin Cheesecake with whipped cream. Pumpkin Cheesecake makes me scream.
Breadsticks on the window panes. Shoot that pumpkin in my veins.
If by chance the cheesecake’s gone, you will find me on your lawn
Crying, begging wanting more, for I am just a pumpkin whore.
Once you say that, the server will respond with the required response of:
Calm the fuck down, bitch. It’s just cheesecake, relax.