Everybody light a candle for Lindsey, because she had the “WORST customer experience” of her life this week at Applebee’s. Yes, that’s right. Out of every interaction she has had in her entire existence on earth, this is the event that will forever be remembered as the worst one. Like when, she is 85 years old and talking to her great-great grandkids, she’ll still be boring them to death with the tale about that time she went to Applebee’s in 2018 and the server wouldn’t let her order a goddamn kids meal.
Long story short: she went in with her two kids, one of which got full on the appetizer and didn’t want anymore food and since Lindsey herself wasn’t that hungry, she wanted to order two kids meals: one for her still hungry child and one for herself. Server gave Lindsey a big ol’ “no can do” and then Lindsey was forced to order a regular entree and leave with a ton of leftover food she didn’t want, couldn’t eat and had to pay for.
Buckle up, Linds, because I’m about to explain how kid meals work. A restaurant that offers a smaller portion of food at a lower price is doing parents a courtesy. It’s called a “kids meal” because it is literally FOR KIDS. It’s not for people who have small appetites or who had gastric bypass surgery or lap band surgery. The reason restaurants offer a smaller and cheaper portion for kids that is so that parents who come in with a gaggle of children won’t go bankrupt just taking their brood out for dinner. It’s actually very generous of restaurants to even offer it in the first place. Too many people see a kids meal and want to order it because it’s cheap. Whatever the case may be for wanting to order it, if you are over the age of 12, you better just resign yourself to having a full portion of Fiesta Lime Chicken and get ready to carry home a to-go box with your leftovers.
Your argument that you have two kids and you should be allowed to order two kids meals regardless of who will eat them, doesn’t fly. Why? First off, you ain’t 12 years old. Second off, the lower price for a kids meal is off-set by a parent who is paying a regular price for an entrée. If the only thing that is being sold to a table is a bunch of kids meals, it’s not a good use of restaurant real estate. Why would a restaurant want to give up a prime booth and then only sell two plates of food that cost a few dollars? News flash: all restaurants are there to make a profit, even Applebee’s. Your server was doing his job and you want to complain about someone who is enforcing the rules that were set by his boss? The real reason he didn’t want you talk to the manager is to save you the embarrassment of having that manager say the exact same thing your server just told you: kids meal are for kids. So even though you may have the emotional intelligence of an 8-year old, your actual age will require that you step away from the kids menu.
So, you had to leave with a bunch of leftovers? Is that the worst thing in the world? Doesn’t that just mean that you can eat it later? And if you didn’t want it, why did you order it? If you weren’t hungry enough for a full meal, why not order another appetizer? And also, your complaint that you to “still had to pay for it,” is just plain stupid.
Lindsey: I’m not that hungry, so can I order a kids meal?
Server: No, I’m sorry, you’ll have to order off the regular menu.
Lindsey: Oh, bummer. So, if I order off the regular menu, will I have to pay for it?
Server: Yes, bitch. That is how restaurants work. Jesus, why are my customers so dumb?
In closing, we all know that Lindsey has never been so dissatisfied with a restaurant which is why she went to the Applebee’s page to complain. What’s even more telling is that Applebee’s failed to respond to her post which means that even they know it’s an invalid complaint. Normally, we see Applebee’s jumping at the opportunity to offer a gift card. Their silence on this issue is deafening and that silence is saying: get over it, girl.