A few days ago, I posted something about Olive Garden’s latest menu addition, a Meatball Pizza Bowl. Basically, it’s a bowl made out of pizza crust and then filled with balls of meat that are covered in cheese and sauce. I have never been a huge fan of Olive Garden, but I would totally eat that and then cry myself to sleep with shame right after sitting on the toilet to forcefully eject it from my colon. It would be a day of extreme highs and even lower lows. I went to the Olive Garden Facebook page to see what people had to say about this monstrosity of carbs and calories that I want to make violent love to and I came across this post by Catherine:
Saw FB ad for the meatball pizza bowl yesterday and it looked sooo yummy that we made the decision to go try it. We didn’t see it on the menu, so asked the waitress when she came over – – imagine our disappointment and disgust when we were informed that it isn’t available on Sundays as “it is a lunch item.” I looked at the waitress and said, “but it is lunch.” She then responded that it is only available during the weekdays! Wish that would have been noted in the ad and made the comment that it should be. As we were leaving (didn’t want anything else as had specifically come for the pizza bowl), the waitress informed us that we were the only ones to ask for it and so would just have to return on a weekday! **How could we be the only ones to ask when she had said early another waiter had gotten in trouble for accepting orders last Sunday for it!
I want Catherine to know that I feel her pain. Sometimes we just have a hankering to fill our gut with processed cheese and sub-par ingredients and nothing but a Meatball Pizza Bowl is going to fill that void. Catherine was so set on this particular combination of foods, that nothing else was going to scratch that itch. She was so filled with disappointment and disgust when she learned it was only available on weekday lunches, that she had to leave, presumably to go find a Meatball Pizza Bowl somewhere else, like maybe in a flaming dumpster behind the old Pizza Hut by the railroad tracks.
Let Catherine’s pain be a lesson for us all. If you are in need of a Meatball Pizza Bowl, make sure you only go to Olive Garden for lunch on a Monday through Friday, otherwise, you too will be slapped in the face with reality and that reality will be a sad plate of Parmesan Zucchini Bites and a Five Italian Cheese Fonduta. Saturday lunch? No Meatball Pizza Bowl! Sunday dinner? No Meatball Pizza Bowl! And to Olive Garden, I ask this of you:
How can you offer something so tempting and then surround it with a barrier called “dinner” or “the weekend?” Have you no soul? Catherine needs to experience the joy of 10 meatballs on her tongue, followed by the saltiness of parmesan, mozzarella and asiago and climaxing with a burst of tangy tomato sauce and you are going to deny her that pleasure? You’re an animal, Olive Garden, a cruel tempting vixen, teasing Catherine and the rest of us with the lure of a Meatball Pizza Bowl only to have that desire ripped away from us because it happens to be a Saturday lunch.
In Catherine’s honor, I have created a petition that we can all sign in an effort to persuade Olive Garden to allow this culinary masterpiece at any time, and not just Monday through Friday at lunch. Click here to sign it. Do it for Catherine.