Not a Bitchy Blog Post

I was going to write a blog post today about a customer request that was made with an online reservation. The request was silly and unnecessary and would be a typical blog post for me that people would laugh at and relate to. Four sentences into it, it seemed so futile.

Looking at my Facebook and Twitter feeds, I am bombarded with stories about the school shooting in Florida that senselessly took the lives of 17 people. Maybe it’s 18, by now, but does it even matter? After the Las Vegas shooting where 58 people were killed, 17 or 18 is just a blip on our radar.

“Did you hear about the latest shooting?”

“Oh, no, how many people died?”

“Only seventeen.”

“Oh, good.”

Seriously? That’s where we are now? We are so emotionally detached from mass shootings that 17 people being killed seems like a “good” shooting. As I typed away writing about a customer who wanted to make sure they had a good table even though they weren’t wearing their usual Armani business suit or carrying the Coach briefcase they normally have, I knew that my heart wasn’t into it. I am sad today. And hearing about the unexpected death yesterday of my friend’s brother certainly didn’t help.

Life is fucking short, people. It’s precious and short and we never know when we will take our last breath. None of those people who went to that school yesterday knew it was the last time they would go there. My friend’s brother didn’t know that yesterday was the last time he would go to work. But it was for all of them. And now their friends and families are left without them.

I can’t write about stupid restaurant crap today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to let the restaurant request go without blogging about it eventually because it’s absolute idiocy, but today just needs to be a day for reflection. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: tell someone you love them. Forgive someone for something. Appreciate someone in your life. Because if that someone is taken away from you by a random act of violence or a for any other reason, you are going to wish you had used every second of every day with that person.

Have a good day. Be kind to one another.

14 thoughts on “Not a Bitchy Blog Post

  1. Gayle

    I love you Bitchy Waiter. My server days are behind me, but I can relate because some days I wondered why I didn’t work at the zoo instead. You are not alone in how you are feeling today. I feel it, as do my family and friends. I always hug my loved ones and tell them I love them. ALWAYS! We can all lose some in the blink of an eye. Thank you for brightening my days. Please hug your husband for me and I am sending you big warm hugs and love. Oh, I have your book, and can’t wait for your next one. xo <3

    1. Tarryn

      Sending some love from South Africa! Thanks for being you and writing about not only the hilarious, absurd happenings to which we as servers can relate, but also about what’s really happening. Whether it be in your country or mine, these remain social issues which affect us all.
      Stay strong, keep writing (I can’t wait to hear all about that ridiculous reservation!)

  2. Ugh!

    “tell someone you love them”

    So much this. We always had a rule in our family (me, husband, son) that the last thing you say to each other before parting company, whether to go to sleep for the night, work, school, down to 7-11 to buy a Slurpee…whatever is “I love you” because it might be the last time you talk to them. The last time I spoke to my son I said “I love you.” A couple hours later he was on life support and a few days later he was gone. He was 22 years old. BW is right, you never know.

  3. Duchess

    Always, always tell your loved ones that you love them. My mom died when I was 25. She struggled all her life with drug addiction and had started drinking heavily again the year before she died, throwing away 13 years of sobriety (albeit forced sobriety after serving a year in jail for a car accident….her BAC was .42 at 11:30 am). I absolutely hated the person she became when she was drunk – she would call me 3, 4, 5+ times a night (her record was 18 times in one night) and scream at me for not understanding how she needed alcohol or sob about how I abandoned her or rage about how horribly I treated her.

    She called me on my birthday (December 20), drunk as usual. The very last thing I said to my mom was “do not call me drunk ever again. If you do, I will change my number and you will not be allowed to have the new one.” And I hung up. I always told her I loved her before hanging up, even when I was spitting mad at her. I didn’t this time.

    My aunt called me the next night and told me mom had died that afternoon. Not even 24 hours after my 25th birthday, my mom died from a burst artery in her neck. It was a horrific, awful death – she both suffocated on her blood and bled out in seconds.

    I’m 44 now, and I’ve carried that guilt for almost 20 years now. Nothing I’ve tried has eased the pain of knowing she died without having heard that I loved her. Trust me when I tell you how important it is to always express your love, no matter what.

    1. Nance

      Oh, Duchess!

      Your post hit a nerve. My mom died when I was 23. She just dropped dead a couple of hours after I saw her while visiting her at her house. I didn’t tell her that I loved her when I left and I almost always said it to her. The guilt I carry is still a bit raw. But that is survivors guilt. Your mom knew that you loved her. She KNEW. She wouldn’t have called you all the time if she didn’t think that you loved her. You can love someone, but not always like them. Love is beautiful, powerful, sometimes hurtful, but ultimately strong. Strong like you. I bet it would break your mom’s heart to know that you are carrying that burden on your shoulders. Let it go. You have suffered enough.

  4. jess

    I am in the same boat today BW. Finally a day off and cant seem to shake the sad cloud. A 23 year old girl i used to party with and hang around passed away unexpectedly. life is too short ):

  5. Jen

    I live about 25 miles south of the shooting. I have friends whose children go to that school. Mental health is treated like a joke in this state. So bummed to know the resources are here, but we don’t have the advocates. It is a daunting job to get help for a mentally ill loved one. It is made as hard as it can possibly be. The meds offered aren’t near effective. The counseling doesn’t work. Sometimes someone gets so lost that no one or nothing can bring them back. As they give up, they cut ties to any standard of quality of life and just go deaf and blind. It is so pitiful, gut wrenching, agonizing. No parent should have to bury their child. No parent wants to be the Mom of the kid who shot up a public place. Tragic injustices all around. It can be changed but we are all too busy running around like crazed chickens trying to survive another day. I just wish life would slow way down in this country. We are all attempting to go too fast and missing out on the real living.

  6. Just A Poor Server

    Who the hell would consider this a good shooting? Even if one person was killed, it’s terrible and it’s the state our world is in. I say world though I am sure people will jump to correct me it’s only in America. Fraid not, cupcake, it’s in the world. We just hear about America more often. It’s sad and you should cherish everyone in your life because we truly don’t know when we will see them again. My heart goes out to those affected by the shooting.

  7. Kimmy

    One life lost is one too many.My heart is heavy and I can’t even begin to imagine what the families are going through.

  8. AB

    “Have a good day. Be kind to one another.”
    I do as good as I can, sometimes its not easy.
    Being in love for six month, with no chance there,
    doesnt make it easier.
    Still I do my best.


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