Woman Expects Free Stuff For Her Birthday

Very often, I have gone after 1-star reviews when I think the reason for the negative review is a stupid one. Today, I am veering off course a bit and putting my focus toward a 3-star review. It’s still a stupid review, but since it’s for three stars and not just one, I will go a bit easier on the writer, Sheryl.

It seems that Sheryl took her 20-year-old daughter out for her birthday to a restaurant called 575 Pizzeria. She thought the “pizza and the service was great,” but Sheryl couldn’t find it in her heart to award them with five stars because she felt the staff didn’t do enough to celebrate the anniversary of the day her daughter climbed out of her vagina.

“The waiter drew my daughter a birthday cake and wrote happy birthday on a ticket.”

You see, that wasn’t enough for Sheryl because Sheryl had recently been to a different restaurant to celebrate the day she climbed out of a vagina and that restaurant did it right. “The waiter brought me a signed birthday card and a round of champagne for the table. The owner then came to the table and brought me a white rose. I then blew out candles on a complimentary dessert.”

I have two questions for Sheryl:

  1. Why do you want a birthday card that is signed by people you don’t know who work at a restaurant?
  2. Why didn’t you just tell your daughter which restaurant to celebrate her birthday in since your daughter is under 21 years old and it’s your house so your rules?

I suppose the reason Sheryl gave Pizzeria 575 this particular review was because she wants them to step it up a bit. It’s food for thought, if you will, and can only make Amarillo, Texas better. However, if the pizza and service was great, doesn’t it make more sense to base the star rating on what they did for you rather than what they didn’t? Hell, if we are going to give reviews based on what we didn’t get, every review would be a bad one.

The more I thought about this review, the more I wanted to know about the restaurant that treated Sheryl so wonderfully and I also wondered if she took the time to give that restaurant a 5-star review. I did a little digging (no, I didn’t) and found out the name of the restaurant she was referring to (I totally didn’t do this) and reached out to the owner for an interview (again, this is not true). The owner was very willing to speak with me about what they do for birthdays and, in fact, he gave me a video interview which I have for you here:


If you want to know more about Billy Bob’s Diner, you can click here. And Sheryl, I would suggest the next time you want a bunch of free shit for your birthday, you go back to Billy Bob’s because it’s not responsibility of every restaurant to shower you with free things simply because you climbed out of a vagina.

7 thoughts on “Woman Expects Free Stuff For Her Birthday

  1. Susan

    Oh my stars, I am laughing so hard-I LOVED the Billy Bobs video!! Thank you for providing me this bit of happiness!
    Oh, and I wouldn’t dream of expecting a pizza restaurant to celebrate my birthday!

  2. Nanc

    Dollars to doughnuts Sheryl’s daughter had a fine old time with her pizza party just as it was and secretly rolled her eyes at Shery’s super-special birthday dinner because wow. Frankly, if one neither feeds you nor fucks you nor pays your bills, they really have zero responsibility in catering to your birthday wishes.

  3. B

    Maybe her daughter chose that restaurant because she knew they didn’t make a huge fuss about something no one gives a crap about. She probably witnessed the circus her narcissistic mom had orchestrated for her own birthday and was like “hell no”, I don’t want to eat some crappy food in exchange for a card I’m going to leave on the table and a frozen old ass dessert noone wants. I want to eat some bomb ass food at this bomb ass place that I know “

  4. Alan

    Used to work at this restaurant that didn’t do the whole song/free dessert bit for someone’s birthday. Whenever someone from a party would interrupt me at a POS while I was entering a large order with a shitload of modifiers with “Do you do anything for birthdays?” I responded “Yes, I’ll wish the birthday person a happy birthday.” And the inquirer would retort “OH, IS THAT ALLLLL???”

    Uh, yeah, that’s about it! If I had my way, I’d grab a wooden paddle out of the trunk of my car and give the birthday boy/girl a good, sound spanking (a lick for each year he/she has been on this earth), but I’d probably end up in jail for assault or something…

  5. Ashley s

    in vt it doesn’t matter if it’s your birthday or Armageddon. no round of free drinks unless it’s water . the tax man wants his money. at the restaurant I work at we do a free dessert and a birthday song but only upon request. most people a thrilled with just the free dessert


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