I have a storied past with Applebee’s and they are very often the brunt of jokes. However, when it comes to this blog, nine times out of ten I am going to defend the restaurant and the servers so today I am on Team Applebee’s
On a bright and sunny Christmas Day in Sikeston, Mo, Scott B. woke up and wanted nothing more than to celebrate the birth of Jess Christ his Savior by taking his family to Applebee’s and dining on Riblet Platter with fries and coleslaw. Unfortunately, there were others in Sikeston who woke up feeling the exact same way. So after Scott opened up his Christmas presents of new tire flaps and the latest model of the Fleshlight, he headed out to Applebee’s only to find it jam-packed with like-minded hungry customers. The hostess told him they were not seating at that moment because the kitchen was backed up, but to Scott’s dismay, he noticed that the restaurant was only half full.
What is one to do? Scott had two options: to either wait patiently and understand that the restaurant was possibly understaffed due to it being Christmas fucking day OR log on to Facebook and start complaining on the Applebee’s page. Guess which one Scott chose.
Oh, Scott. Dear, sweet, clueless, entitled, arrogant, can’t wait to use your new Fleshlight, Scott. Yes, the restaurant was busy and you had to wait. According to your post, so did 15 other people. And the reason you saw tables empty was because the restaurant realized that they could not accept more customers at that very moment and thought it best to be upfront and honest with you about the extended wait time than to seat you and give the false illusion that service was going to come quickly. We don’t know why they were short staffed, but they clearly were. Perhaps it was difficult to find enough servers to since, I dunno, it was fucking Christmas Day. Or maybe they did have it adequate staffed but a few people decide to call in sick since, I dunno, it was fucking Christmas Day.
“I’m sorry it’s a holiday, but nothing is open,” you say in your Facebook rant. Yes, nothing else is open because it’s fucking Christmas Day and some places make the humane decision to close that day so employees can spend that day with their families and the people they care about rather than dealing with whiney, sniveling crybabies like you.
“It’s not worth it,” you say. Funny, that is exactly what every single person who was working at Applebee’s that day said too.
It seems that you waited about an hour before deciding it wasn’t worth it which tells me that for 59 minutes, you did in fact think it was going to be worth it as the mantra “riblets and Fleshlight, riblets and Fleshlight…” ran through your head the whole time. But you finally left, probably vowing to never go back to the Applebee’s in Sikeston, MO again. It’s alright if you never go back. In fact if everyone who had to wait for service at Applebee’s on that day vowed to never go back on Christmas, maybe next year the restaurant could stay closed and let their employees stay home one day a year.
“Applebees in Sikeston, MO sucks!!!!!” you say. Well, I say the same thing about you.
Merry Christmas. Enjoy your Fleshlight.
p.s. Someone sent me a $50 gift card to Applebee’s so expect another Live Facebook video from there soon.