I Hate the People Who Take Both Credit Card Receipts

Dear Customers Who Take Both Copies of the Credit Card Receipt,

Stop doing that. Maybe you don’t know what happens when you absentmindedly walk out with the customer copy as well as the merchant copy of a credit card receipt, but servers know: we don’t get the tip you wrote in. That’s right, if the bill was for $50.56 and you left $11.00 on the tip line, we don’t get it and we have no choice but to hate you and wish bad things upon you for the rest of the night. Seriously, we will hope you get a flat tire or you will run out of gas. And the bigger the tip we didn’t get, the worse things we will wish for. If the tip is anywhere over $20, we are going to send out vibes for your brakes to stop working as you go down a hill. We don’t want you to die or anything, but we certainly wouldn’t mind if you lost control of your car and drove into a huge bale of hay or something that would make your airbags deploy and give you a raging headache. Or maybe we will hope that you will drop your cell phone in the parking lot and before you realize what had happened, another car will run over it and crush your iPhone X into tiny pieces. It may sound harsh, but hey, we basically just worked for free and we’re pissed off about it.

If you are one of the people who take the credit card receipt on purpose, you are officially a horrible person and if karma is a real thing, then you should be preparing your ass for the enormous bite it will soon be receiving. Do what ever can to protect your ass, because that bite is going to be bigger than when a great white shark spots a sea lion and snaps it up quicker than I do when a pizza roll comes out of the microwave. And your ass will deserve that bite. You will spend the rest of your life walking around with only half of an ass because karma will have the rest of your ass stuck between its teeth. Karma will chew and chew on your ass and eventually karma is going to get a toothpick to wedge pieces of your ass out from it’s pearly whites and each time it pulls out a sliver of your ass, it’s going to put your ass right back on its tongue and swallow it. Karma wants your ass.

So, what should you do if you get home to discover both copies of the receipt in your possession? You make amends, that’s what. You call the restaurant and tell them what happened so the server can open up that check again and adjust the tip amount. And if you don’t find the receipt until the next day, then you drive your full ass (because karma hasn’t had a chance to bite it yet) right back to the restaurant and give a cash tip to your server. Yes, cash, because the credit card had already been batched out and the check is closed. Cash is your only option now. It may be inconvenient for you, but that is your own damn fault. The inconvenience of the whole situation will soon wash away when you are on the receiving end of immense gratitude from the server who thought he had been stiffed. You will never see such thankfulness as you will see from a server who gets a tip from a customer days after they thought they had been stiffed. Doing this for your server will also come back in the form of karma. Instead of karma biting off half of your ass, it will instead bring you more ass. Your ass will be huge. In fact, you will have to buy new clothes because karma will bring you so much ass that your nickname will be Bubble Butt (insert name here).

In closing, please be mindful of the merchant copy of the credit card receipt. To you, it’s just another piece of paper. To us, it’s our livelihood.

Mustard and mayo,
The Bitchy Waiter

14 thoughts on “I Hate the People Who Take Both Credit Card Receipts

  1. Michele Feller

    I had something like that happen this year. This guy came in and asked for me. I didnt recognize him but he said he and a buddy were in a month ago having a few beers and he didn’t t have any money to tip. He handed me $3. He was so sincere and genuine. It was one if those rare times I’m reminded that not all people are soul-sucking assholes. Just the gesture alone was very touching. I’d probably have remembered him had it been a big deal or a big check. I just thought that was the sweetest thing. It had been weighing on his mind enough to botherd to make it right and I didn’t even remember him and he was young too. I love it when i have those rare melt- your- heart stories. In this biz even! 🙂

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  2. Angel

    There’s a restaurant here where I have written in a tip 6 times now and when my bank processes the charge its for the cost of the food only. The restaurant it’s self doesn’t tip our server. I call to try and have it corrected, but they don’t care. They just say, “Oh, somebody forgot to put it in. Don’t worry about it now.”
    Pizza Hut does the same to our delivery guy.
    It’s infuriating, and probably sadly common. Now if we don’t have cash we won’t go anywhere that tipping is appropriate.

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  3. Tanya

    I try to always do cash tips simply because a lot of the places I know around here, the servers do not get that tip until payday and then its been taxed so its less then they would have gotten if it had been cash. Back when I was a server (Gosh has it really been 15 years lol) I know I depended on that nights tips for gas to get back to work the next day, and at times for diapers for the baby on the way home. Some of my friends that still are servers might have made 20 bucks in tips, and have to tip out the busser and the bartender so walk out with little to no cash and the bulk of their tips is in limbo until payday.

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    1. Serenity

      I recently started at a place that puts our tips in our checks. Tbh, it turns out that I like the way that works better than having all my tips at the end of my shift. It keeps me from casually spending the pile of money building up in my purse before it gets to the bank, and I keep much better track of how much money I am actually making, and spending. Plus the tax thing is taken care of, so I don’t have to worry about that, either. It took a little getting used to, but once I adjusted, I realised it really is more beneficial overall, and I have yet to empty out my bank account and have no money for a few days before payday 🙂

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  4. Vanessa

    It should be policy, if a guest leaves with both copies of the credit card receipt, we should automatically get to add at least 15%!!!

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  5. Servergirl

    Where I work, if we do not keep the merchant receipt, we are charged the full amount! It comes off our paycheck as a short.
    They say it is because if the customer in future contests the charge, it is the only proof the company has.

    Reply
    1. Serenity

      That can’t be legal, not even a little bit. Not only is it not legal for places to charge servers for walkouts, but if I am understanding you correctly, you are getting charged bc they took both copies?? “In case” they dispute, and before they have actually disputed? So, when they don’t dispute does your restaurant give you the money back? Or just keep your money that they STOLE, and the guest’s money as well? I would have to guess the second if they’re pulling this stunt in the first place. That’s awful, and if you are able you should find another place to work and then report their asses.

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  6. Peter

    This happened to me once – but since it wasn’t during the old carbon-copy days, I could simply get the tip amount off the carbon paper.

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  7. B D

    Just as bad…. they leave the merchant copy, but don’t sign it, and we don’t have enough time to check it before you’ve made it to your car and ske-daddle’d. In most places I worked, that is still a $0 on the tip, even if you wrote something in.

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  8. Brian

    I am so glad you posted this, because the day I read it I had lunch with some friends. Sure enough, when I went home that evening, I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out all three receipts. If I hadn’t read this story, I would not have thought a damned thing about it. I immediately called the restaurant told them what had happened and asked them to reopen the ticket and add the tip. Then just to make sure, I watched my credit card account online until the original pending charge settled for the total. I normally try and tip in cash but in an unplanned surge of generosity, I picked up the tab for all three of us and had to put the tip on my CC as well. I’ll try and be more careful in the future. 😉

    Reply

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