This is Not How You Treat a Margarita

There is a meme that someone sharted out onto Facebook and it upsets me in so many ways. It shows a leftover margarita that someone poured into a to-go container because they couldn’t finish it and didn’t want it to go to waste. There are three ways this pisses me off and I want to elaborate:

  1. Where the hell does someone buy a $7 margarita and why am I not there right now? This is an outrage! Here in New York City, I get very excited when I discover a happy hour that offers margaritas for anything less than $10 and this person is blatantly bragging about a $7 one they couldn’t finish? I hate this person.
  2. Why is this margarita red? A true margarita is lime juice, tequila, triple sec and some agave or simple syrup. In other words, it’s not fucking red. If this is a watermelon margarita or some bullshit like this, it does not belong in a glass or a to-go container. It belongs in the garbage.
  3. Finally, in most cities you are not allowed to take alcoholic beverages with you when you leave the restaurant. Unless this happened is New Orleans, Las Vegas, Savannah, Georgia or some other mythical wonderland that lets you walk the streets with huge plastic containers of alcohol strapped around your neck, this is wrong. Something like this can get the server fired or have the restaurant lose their liquor license and if that happens, where is this asshole going to go the next time they want a shitty $7 watermelon margarita? Besides that, what the hell is this margarita going to be like like after ten minutes of sloshing around in styrofoam? What doesn’t spill out is going to be a watered down mess, because the idiot also took the ice with them. Fucking amateurs… Who the hell can’t finish a margarita anyway? When your brain tells you you’ve had enough margarita, you let your muscle memory take over and you suck that shit down. You don’t jeopardize the restaurant or the server because you are too much of a lightweight to be a responsible margarita drinker. Watermelon or not, it’s a margarita and you ordered it. Your civic duty requites that you drink it, asshole.

 

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