A Horrible Little Girl Sat in My Section

One of my regulars who comes in about twice a month always sits at a booth alone and reads a book. She’s very nice and we have a good relationship. I can tell that she relishes her alone time on Thursday nights and she usually brings a book to keep herself company. This night, she shows up with her 10-year-old daughter and I know now why she always seems so happy to be with just herself.

That little girl is awful. She’s like a combination of Nellie Oleson and Veruca Salt with a dash of
Regina George. (And yes, I realize that two out of three of those references are for people over the age of 40.)

Mom still has her book. This time it’s The Book of Dust, which is a newly released fantasy novel that probably helps transport her to a time when she didn’t have a rude little parasite living off her. The little girl is wearing earbuds and watching a show on an iPhone. When their food arrives, Mom asks Girl to turn off the phone and remove the headphones. The daughter only does 50% of what was asked of her.

“Did you not hear me say to take out your earphones?“ asks Mom.

Begrudgingly, she does it and pouts her way through her mac and cheese. When I ask if they want dessert, the little girl is suddenly interested in something other than her darkened iPhone.

“Tonight we have a chocolate flourless cake with chocolate ice cream and chocolate sauce, a walnut and cranberry banana bread pudding served warm with vanilla ice cream and a pumpkin pie with graham cracker crust and a maple whipped cream.”

The girls eyes light up at the mention of pumpkin pie. “I want that!” she says.

“Mommy doesn’t like pumpkin pie.”

“Well, Sarah does, so too bad for you.”

This is where I do a double take. Did this little girl just talk back to her mother like that? I don’t have children (“No shit,” says everyone reading this blog.) but that would not fly with me.

Things I would have said if my 10-year old said that to me:

  • Well, we’re getting the chocolate cake and you don’t get any of it.
  • Don’t you use that tone with me, young lady.
  • That’s it. Give me your iPhone right now and you can have it back when you’re 13.
  • Then you need to get your ass out into the real world and get yourself a job so you can pay for your own freaking pumpkin pie.
  • Why did I ever think having a child would be a good idea? You make my life miserable.

But the mom chooses not to say any of those things. Instead, she heaves the heaviest sigh I have ever heard and says, “Okay, I guess pumpkin pie then.”

When I bring the dessert to the table, I place it in front of Sarah.

“Your mom is pretty cool for getting pumpkin pie for you guys when she doesn’t even like it, huh? You’re pretty lucky.”

She ignores me, because she is fixated on maple whipped cream which is obviously the next best thing to an iPhone.

“You have a good mom,” I continue.

“What do you have to say about that?” Mom asks her daughter.

Sarah, with a mouthful of pumpkin pie, shrugs her shoulders and says, “I like pumpkin pie, what can I say?”

Mom rolls her eyes and takes a bite of pumpkin pie, confirming that she doesn’t like it. “I just don’t get it,” she says. “It tastes like pumpkin. Bleh.”I agree with her assessment on pumpkin pie.

Moments later, Sarah is playing a game on her iPhone when her mother says it’s time to leave.

“But wait, I need to finish this game!”

“No, we’re gonna go, c’mon.”

“Wait! I’m not ready!”

“Sarah, we need to go. Put on your jacket.”

“No!”

Things I would have said if my 10-year old said that to me:

  • Fine, good bye. The locks will be changed by the time you get home.
  • Give me that fucking iPhone right this goddamn minute.
  • Your father was right. He should have worn a condom.
  • You’re the worst.

What the mother actually said:

  • Okay, I will be outside waiting for you.

And Mother left as Sarah sat in the booth for several more minutes to finish her game.

I’m pretty sure the next time the mother comes into the restaurant again, it will be just her and a book. And I promise you that I will give her the best possible service because now I understand how truly special her alone time is.

23 thoughts on “A Horrible Little Girl Sat in My Section

  1. Carol

    It’s the mother’s fault for allowing this behavior. Perhaps if she had done something about this sooner, it wouldn’t be happing now. I personally would have used one of your comebacks, but I don’t have kids either and SARAH IS WHY!!! F**king monster.

    Reply
    1. shanti

      what a stupid comment .. you know nothing about her life or what she’s going through with her daughter .. fricking judgmental cow….if you have kids obviously it will all be so easy

      Reply
      1. Cameron Rose

        it doesn’t matter that something’s not easy, that doesn’t make it okay to half ass something. I don’t have children. I”m also not a pilot. But when I see an airplane in a tree I know somebody royally fucked up.

        Reply
  2. Karen

    Good God! The mom is a disgrace, I wanted to slap her too while reading this lil gem. When my 11 yr son acts a fool, I say really bad stuff through gritted teeth. Oy vay if CPS ever heard any of it I’d probably be in jail.

    Reply
  3. Krista

    I have two children. And I feel a degree of empathy with this mother to a certain extent.

    HOWEVER, that little girl would not speak that way if it was not allowed. The things that you said you were going to say if you were her mother are absolutely correct. If my children were to ever behave that way toward me that would be the end of the damn iPhone, and I would be the type to get dessert and eat it right in front of her if she wanted to behave that way.

    The fact that this child has an iPhone anyway is a matter of contention for me. I don’t feel that children that young deserve high-end Electronics like that. But that’s beside the point.

    Reply
  4. Rachel

    Omg I can not stand rude little demon accidents you just want to slap the shit out of them!!!! I have 2 children and they get in trouble if they don’t say please and thank you to servers! Fuck that!

    Reply
  5. Tony

    I have 5 children and if even one acted this way i would punish in front of server and make them apologize to server…. I always take floor mats out with me and clean up as much as possible… I’m a server/bartender/cook… And i don’t feel bad for the mom… She allows it…

    Reply
  6. Sabrae

    OH HELLLLLLLL NO! My momma wld have slapped the taste out of my damn mouth right then and there! And that iPhone wld have been ran over, by the car, in the parking lot!

    Reply
  7. Michelle

    I gotta wonder if that child got her tail tore up at home or if that mom has a reason she allowed it maybe a custody battle and the child knows she has it made for now? Either way that child’s future is grim as the real world is going to eat her alive.

    Reply
  8. linda

    Mixed reaction here. In a way, mom scored because child voluntarily if unknowingly ate a large serving of vegetable (pumpkin pie is mostly squash, y’know?). But yeah, the back-talk. 🙁

    Reply
  9. Mary A

    Dude.

    First of all — there may be a very legit backstory. Little girl may have issues or struggles or something we have NO idea about. Sometimes we mom-judge way too fast.

    With that said — what a little asshole. I don’t even let other people’s kids talk to me like that and IMHO smart phones are only for kids over the age of 16 (and in the case of my kids they also have to be Eagle Scouts, so…we don’t have smart phones yet.)

    (Love you to pieces BW… sorry I don’t get to comment much anymore! – Mary A from giftoffat)

    Reply
  10. Donna

    Oh HELL NAH!!! My four year old knows better and knows I’d smack her right on the lips if she were to talk to me like that.

    I would’ve said “all of the above” (minus the condom comment)…. that Child needs a serious attitude adjustment.

    Reply
  11. JoAnn McCarty

    I completely get it. We had a family that used to come in regularly, then they didn’t come in for a while. Then the mother came in alone, then the father came in alone once in a while they would have their 8 year old son with them. What was once a cute little blonde haired boy had turned into a monster. Aparently the parents divorced and He was playing each parent against each other. He treated them like shit then threw a fit if he didn’t get what he wanted. It was horrible…

    PS. You should have grabbed her by the back of the head and shoved her face in the pie!! 😉❤️

    Reply
  12. Nance

    Too bad you couldn’t have served her some of Minny’s Chocolate pie from “The Help”.
    Terrible awful. 😉

    That little monster is going to be a nightmare of a teenager. Yuck

    Reply
  13. Nanette Hartman

    Well, we’re getting the chocolate cake and you don’t get any of it…..
    And….

    Give me that fucking iPhone right this goddamn minute.
    Are my favorites! LMAO love it. And I have kids.

    Reply
  14. shanti

    bet this i totally a custody battle and she’s playing each parent against each other. Cant actually be strict or parent how you want to cause they’ll love Daddy the best and act up even more .. my friend was going through the same thing .. fortunately now resolved and her daughter dosn’t act like this anymore thank god cause it was breaking her in two

    Reply
  15. Giorge

    What a great mother! Your viewpoint appears slanted due to your belief that Mom should be the dictator of what her daughter does. Mom did stand up to her daughter, but on equal ground, making her desires and wishes clearly known, without robbing her child of her own voice and right to choose. All children must naturally turn away from their parents orders and wishes to some extent to find and claim their own identities. This is an ongoing battle from early age.

    Mom: Get in the stroller!
    Child: No! I want to walk!
    Mom: I said get in the stroller!
    Child: No! I am not! No! No! No! I’m not showing up to my 16th birthday party in that damn stroller!

    Being a parent does not give us the right to dictate everything for our child’s life. We are there to guide and mentor, not to always rule and say, “It’s my way or the highway.”

    Reply
  16. Annie

    If I’d been the server I would have been walking away from the table saying, “Gee, it’s too bad abortion isn’t retroactive.”

    I agree with a lot of the posts. That kids is going to be a horror as a teenager. If this clueless mom has a brain in her head, she’ll put the brat in military school ASAP (or dump her off to her Dad’s). At the very least, by the time she hits puberty, make sure she strong-arms – if necessary – over to Planned Parenthood and got her the SHOT! Dumbasses like this should not breed.

    Why do people have kids, anyway?????

    Reply

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