This guest post is written by Rob Saul and I think we can all relate. Thanks. xo, BW
Birthdays. As mine approaches tomorrow, I have plans to go out with friends and colleagues. I’ll probably even dine out to a place of my liking. Birthdays are fun and should be celebrated. As a server, there is something I think you should be aware of when going out into the public to dine. We don’t give a fuck about your birthday. Here is a list of things that I would kindly ask you to refrain from when going out for either your or a loved one’s birthday.
1. Announcing it at the first approach. Or at any approach really. When we walk up to introduce ourselves and get your drink order and you decide to blurt out “It’s My Birthday!!!”
it makes me want to jump out of my skin… or the restaurant window. It takes a special kind of narcissism to think that a complete stranger who is serving your food to pay their rent or student loans is supposed to be excited that how ever many years ago on this date, you were thrust from your mum’s under region.
2. Birthday gear. Ughhhh!!! As an adult, there’s no better way to say “I have an unhealthy need for attention” then wearing your light up tiara or Birthday hat/t-shirt. What is the thought behind this? That you’re going out and strangers won’t know it’s your birthday? Is that unacceptable? You have to brand yourselves so that strangers will acknowledge that on this date YOU WERE BORN? Oy vey
3. Discretely flagging down server. If ever there’s a moment in a dining experience that makes me want to rip off my apron and get out, it’s this. When I go to turn that corner to the soda machine or POS and in my peripheral I see you hunched down and hidden while loudly “PSSSTTTT”ing me and wildly waving your hands. This usually leads to the most dreadful request, which segways me into number 4
4. Asking the wait staff to come out and sing. Something that myself and most sane staff members try desperately avoid at all costs. This isn’t broadway and I’m certainly not making Bette Midler’s salary. I don’t want to sing to you. I especially don’t want all your phones pointing at me while I’m forced to do it. I can’t wait for my family and friends to scroll across a video on Facebook or YouTube of me awkwardly singing to you holding a molten cake with a candle in it. They’ll be so proud
5. Big Birthday Expectations. There’s always those people whose birthdays are RUINED because their potato wasn’t warm enough, the scallops were a little dry, the salmon took longer than expected. Working in a restaurant, it is always our goal to make sure our guests are happy and served in a timely manner but things are bound to go wrong sometimes. For the most part, we’ll make it right. But you have to be a real egomaniac to think that the restaurant goes into a huge uproar, starts calling extra people in, pulling out all the stops because they were just informed that it’s Sally at Table 4’s birthday. If your birthday is ruined because of a mistake at a restaurant, you should probably reevaluate your existence.
So there you have it, if you didn’t know, now you do. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!