The Latest 1-Star Review for a Stupid Reason

On June 28th, someone left a one-star review for Milio’s Sandwiches in Madison, Wisconsin because- are you ready for this? Because the parking lot was flooded and the employee didn’t help him and his children dry off. (I am assuming the reviewer is a man since the name is Soccer D. which I take to stand for Soccer Dad, Soccer Douche, or Soccer Dick, all of which would be a dude.) He was also upset that he was not given an apology or any compensation for the “horrible experience” he had while trying to park.

Are restaurant workers now expected to hand you a warm fucking towel upon your arrival? Do you want us to meet you at your car with an umbrella and escort you in? Or maybe we should just send God a text message and let Him know that you are arriving to pick up a freakin’ sandwich and if he could just turn off the rain for a few minutes, that’d be great.

I did a little research of the weather on and around June 28th for the Madison, Wisconsin area and it turns out they were having some issues that day:

Storms moved through our area on Wednesday evening.  Some produced strong, damaging straight line winds while others were able to rotate.  A tornado watch was issued and we now have confirmation of two tornadoes in Green County.

For those of you not in the know, Green County borders Dane County, which is where Milio’s Sandwiches is located so it is not out of the realm of possibility that Dane County had some shit weather too. And here is a photo of a flooded North Blair Street in Madison which is only 1.8 miles from the place where this dear precious customer was trying to park his car.

What we can ascertain (with the emphasis on “ass”) is that Soccer D. was driving around in a major thunderstorm with tornado warnings and flash flooding and suddenly had a craving for a ham and cheese on rye. Rather than suppress this desire and drive his children to a safe space here they could ride out the storm, he instead went to Milio’s. There, he got all pissed off that the employee was soaking wet and didn’t dry off him and his children. Hey, Soccer Dick, did you ever stop to consider that if the employee had a towel for drying off he would have used it on himself? And maybe he was wet because, oh, I dunno, there was a freaking tornado down the street and maybe he got caught in the same flood you did.

C’mon. Save your 1-star review for a legitimate reason. A wet employee who was stuck in the same thunderstorm you are complaining about making your parking difficult does not deserve to be given a bad review. Suck it up, Soccer D. If you were a good dad, you would have had some towels in your car to dry off your own damn kids. Or better yet, a good father probably wouldn’t have thought, “Hmmm, there’s a major storm warning in affect for our area. I think I’ll put my kids in the car and go get a sandwich.”

Read Soccer D.‘s review of Milio’s Sandwiches on Yelp

17 thoughts on “The Latest 1-Star Review for a Stupid Reason

  1. Heather

    What is this garbage? What sort of compensation did this fuckwad expect from this place due to something completely out of their control? It was HIS choice to park in a disastrous parking lot and drag his stupid ass and his spawn out of the car into an apparent deluge. Smh

  2. Claudia

    Please lets stop for a second and give you a standing ovation for the extraordinary research you did. I screamed so hard when I read that part 😂😂😂😂
    love from a venezuelan server in LA.

  3. Amy Graham

    I love you Bitchy. Your snarky comments and sarcasm make my heart happy. Thanks for taking on all the asswagons we deal with to pay our bills.❤

  4. Freddie Raechel

    Fuck yeah!!! The weather research is just the “fuck you asshole” this twat needed. Love you Bitchy, thanks for this.

  5. Amanda

    So he created this account in June of 2017 and has only left this review. It sounds like even he knew this was a stupid thing to do. I wonder if he did this to see how viral it went.

  6. Mary Mae G.

    LOL, just like the brainless guests I had to deal with when I used to work on a dinner cruise. They would complain or more stupidly, give us bad reviews because the water wasn’t as smooth as they would’ve thought (when it’s been raining hard all week) and that we ruined their night because they got seasick.. 😂

  7. Botpol

    Soccer D only has one review. Notice all the bs 5 star reviews since your post. Hmmm, could it be you actually helped them get on the map? Well played Soccer D

  8. Jennifer C.

    Too bad there’s not a yelp page for shitty parents where we could leave a one-star review of him.

    1. jaye

      Yes, and it should be direct connect to the local Dept of Children & Family Svcs. This asshat needs a 1 star review for child endangerment. Bet its not his/her 1st stellar parenting move.

  9. Nathan Root

    I’m on Soccer’s side. I mean power to him. Losing exactly 3 customers will derail any successful sandwich shop…actually no, no it won’t. Bye Felicia!

  10. K

    I live in Madison and can confirm the weather was extremely bad that day. The weather forecast warned people far in advance so they could plan ahead accordingly. there was a very long, torrential downpour and some flash flooding.

  11. Kenna

    Gotta say, this reviewer is a typical narcissist. Look up narcissistic behavior and this is it. It’s all about her/him, you didn’t cater to them, you didn’t make them feel important. Seriously, this person has a major personality disorder. They made themselves look like the idiot.


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