We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect union, establish Justice, whine our little asses off on the Internet, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Therefore, Ali P. was just doing what our forefathers wanted her to do when she created an account, dreamed up a password and logged into Yelp for the first time. James Madison would be proud. While I applaud Ali for doing her civic duty, I take umbrage at what she had to say when she was reviewing a place called The Rabbit Hole in Colorado Springs, Colorado and left it 2-stars:
The food is better than McDonald’s. Our waitress was awesome. Some hostess or bussing creature walked by our table and abruptly announced “THIS IS NOT A PLAYGROUND” to my 5 year old who had tripped off of a stair right by our table. I admit he was getting antsy because we were there for awhile waiting for a remake of some dishes. I implore all young serving creatures, do not reprimand a woman’s child by mocking them condescendingly. Overall, the food is not that impressive to spend $170 on dinner and then be mocked by a teenager.
Okay, fine. So she thought the food was overpriced, but it was better than McDonald’s. I suppose she is trying to give the place a compliment but that is the most backassward compliment I have ever seen. It’s like slapping someone with but doing it from behind and reaching under your own legs to slap someone else in the taint. She also thinks her waitress was awesome which should at least bump it up to three stars, but nope. She is upset that a hostess or bussing “creature” told her admittedly “antsy” child THIS IS NOT A PLAYGROUND. Ummm, bussing creature? She later implores all “serving creatures” to not reprimand a woman’s child.
First off, Ali, show a little respect. If we are going to be tossing about the word “creature” why don’t we use it for your 5-year old little boy who tripped off a stair right by your table? If your creature was sitting down with his Mama Creature, he wouldn’t have tripped, right? And then the employee wouldn’t have had to do your job for you which is to remind children that restaurants are not a place to play.
Restaurant staff are not creatures. We are human beings with feelings, emotions, brains and pretty much the exact same body composition as you, Ali, except where we have hearts, you have a calcified piece of organ meat that needs to be re-fucking-hydrated. How do you think that hostess felt when she undoubtedly read your review and saw that you referred to her as a creature? I bet she didn’t feel good. There’s no need to insult the staff of a restaurant because your little snot-nosed creature was misbehaving. By the way, how does it feel to see someone on the Internet calling your child called a creature? I bet you don’t like it any more than the staff at The Rabbit Hole did.
Again, you have every right to leave a review, good or bad, for any establishment your creature ass rolls into. But if you’re going to insult someone in that review, then it’s open season to insult you back. If anyone is a creature here, it;’s you, Ali P. Okay and maybe your son as well. Just a couple of creatures trolling the Internet looking to hurt the feelings of someone who was trying to keep your kid from getting hurt in a restaurant because you couldn’t be bothered to do it yourself. You’re a creature, Ali. And so is your son. Also, Ali, you should buy my book. Click here!