A Comment on Comments: The Lady Who Called a Busser a “Creature” Edition

A few days I wrote a blog post about a woman named Ali who wrote a Yelp review and called some of the restaurant staff “creatures.” As you know, I am wont to stand up for the rights of any server who I feel may have been unfairly treated so I called her out for her misbehavior. Well, this woman got wind of my post and it gave her big ol’ lady boner. She even updated her review and called herself famous. She also called me an Internet Troll Prick. (Cue me Googling a website where I can have t-shirt made that says Internet Troll Prick). She also claims that I wouldn’t allow her to leave a comment on the blog which is a complete and total lie because she did leave a comment under the nom de plume of Wendy. When I first read the comment from “Wendy,” I did not know it was from Ali. I thought it was just your average Internet Troll Prick looking for attention. That comment was left at 11:46 PM EST on Sunday night. Eleven minutes later, I received a private message that was from Ali herself and it was a cut and paste of Wendy’s words. Now I know that Wendy and Ali are the same person. Thirty-eight minutes later, Ali left the same comment on the Facebook page.


This tells me that Ali spent at least 50 minutes thinking about my blog post which is about twice as long as I spent writing it. Her private message to me was even more detailed than the original comment. In the original post, I didn’t insult Ali. I called her a creature but that was the same word she used to describe the restaurant staffer. No big deal, right? But in her message to me, she goes further and, although I did not analyze her first review line by line as she seems to think I did, I will do that with her message.

You’re a bitch alright. Yes, Yes, I am.

Roasting “fans” whose comments offend you and feeling compelled to burn them by dedicating blog posts to them. You are not a fan. You are a random Yelp reviewer. Besides, I don’t “roast” fans. I only roast customers who treat service staff poorly.

How precious. How important that must make you feel. I am precious but it does not make me feel important. My self-importance has nothing do with with Internet Troll Pricks who send me messages.

You’re so angry about being gay and working in the service industry, that your only release is attacking strangers who disagree with you. What a sad life you lead. I am not angry about being gay. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have been with my husband for 26 years and I would not consider my life to be a sad one in the slightest. And working in the service industry doesn’t make me sad either. people like you make me sad.

I’m flattered that you took so much time to analyze my comment line-by-line and dedicate a post to me. Don’t be flattered because I didn’t take that much time. I wrote that blog post while sitting on the toilet and the dump I flushed away meant more to me than you do.

It was truly moving what a cunt you really are. Especially considering how much time that took away from taming that Ramen noodle-wannabe, frizzy curly wig you swing about, most inevitably leaving bits of DNA in your customers’ food. You’re not Justin Timberlake, circa 2000 sweetheart. I don’t often use the c-word, Ali, but if the cunt fits wear it. And although my hair may be frizzy and look like ramen noodles, it’s not a wig and I didn’t take any time away from taming it to write the blog post. I mean, seriously, look at my hair. Does it look like I take time to do anything to it? You’re right about two things: I am not Justin Timberlake in 2000 and I probably do leave bits of DNA in the food of my customers.

You are a deplorable human being and I pray your tables are seated with bus loads upon bus loads of children. A deplorable human being? It takes one to know one, Ali. As for the bus loads of children, I’m actually okay with that. I’d rather deal with loads and loads of children than loads and loads of something else that land all over my face. (Speaking of loads, say hello to your little boy for me.)

Go get a real job. Too bad being an asshole doesn’t pay anything, you’re already excellent at that! I do have a real job, actually. It’s called waiting tables. And if you don’t think being an asshole pays anything, all I have to say about that is thank you for clicking my website! And you can buy my book here.

But wait, there’s more! A little while later Ali sent me another message:

Did you know that I’ve actually been asked to kill myself by your readers? By the the looks of your life, you would be more likely kill yourself. I actually live a very fulfilling and happy life with my little creatures! Ali, I never asked you to kill yourself and I never asked anyone to tell you that. Sorry that people can be so mean and heartless on the Internet. Oh, wait, you already knew that, didn’t you? Carry on with your fulfilling life…

And then she sent one more:

Misogynistic faggot. And to that I say this:

And here is a screenshot of the post on my Facebook page in case she deletes it…

42 thoughts on “A Comment on Comments: The Lady Who Called a Busser a “Creature” Edition

  1. Jennifer

    I read your blog often, but rarely comment. This is one of those rare occasions that I feel it’s necessary to show you my support!
    So many times I wish I had the courage to speak up against jerk-faced internet trolls who hide themselves behind their cruel words online. I have to say thank you for unabashedly being yourself and showing that smirk and middle finger.
    And by the way, I LOVE your hair.

  2. Krista Walter

    I always find it amusing when people can’t back up their statements with any kind of logic or reason. They constantly have to attack in the nastiest way they think that they can. The nastiest way she thought she could have attacked you was by saying that you’re unhappy being gay.

    I’m curious, why would she think that you living your life the way that you want to would make you unhappy? It obviously couldn’t be because she’s desperately unhappy in her life? No, that could possibly be it.

    And then to be so cowardly as to try to hide behind a pseudonym. So she’s unhappy, cunty, AND a coward.


  3. Tiffany

    How did she get mysonigistic from your reply? Does she know what that word means?
    This person has way too much time on her hands, I would feel sorry for her but she’s an asshole.
    I’ve adored you from the beginning, I’m one of the original 1,000 fans, been here for years. I reference your page when trying to explain common curtesy to patrons who don’t understand how to treat servers.
    Your book was awesome, we’ve seen you on TV, and your bare ass was on a billboard!!! You are far more than a server, you are fabulous.
    Keep being bitchy!

  4. Deb

    Did I happen to mention that I am a librarian. I am a children’s librarian. I found your blog and Facebook so empowering, so damn humane I nagged the adult librarian to buy your book. Did I mention that your book is NEVER on shelf, is checked out now, and has two holds from libraries not as smart as my library? I follow your book like one of my children–that is how important I believe it is to inspire service-workers. You are my hero and SHE is an awful human being. Anyone who is a bully, who uses their tiny bit of power to hurt anyone they have power over, small as it is, is a vile person. She is vile. You are a mensch and I have to order another damn book since I keep giving them away to servers. Love to you and keep it up. I was a waitress and I was demeaned, groped, and insulted by assholes. I still kept my humanity–you make the world brighter. Thank you.

  5. Mellie

    I just will never understand how someone finds it ok to go on a website and blast a public place in such a rude way and then becomes completely offended when made fun of for it. I mean, really, if you have a problem with the service or something that goes wrong it a restaurant, fine, it happens, we are all human and make mistakes…address it at the time WITH THE PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT.
    I use Trip Advisor frequently, I love the app, but I know to take it with a grain of salt, if someone gives a restaurant 1 star because of some stupid shit like, “well, they told my kid to stop running” or “I didn’t get my refill of diet coke in a timely manner”…I’m probably still going to eat there. Pick and choose your battles people, if you find a finger in your hamburger, ok, that’s a fucking problem, waiting 10 minutes on your check or someone telling your child to move out of the way is not a deal breaker for most of the world. And when you write terrible things and resort to calling people names when they are only doing their job, well, you are just automatically dismissed and your opinion is immediately worth nothing.

    1. Jocelyn

      That’s the thing I can’t stand about the people getting so uppity with his posts. Basically it’s: “I can call you out publicly and threaten your livelihood but don’t you DARE do the same to me.” A 5% top does not entitle you to special internet priveleges, lady. You better be prepared to get it as good as you give it.

  6. Lauren

    From one NYC industry professional to another I LOVE YOU!! Haha keep writing, keep bitching, it helps me get through it some days! <3

  7. Brenda Robinson

    Her low interlect makes it hard for her to understand those suttlely humerious remarks of yours. And to insult your life choices and apperence proved she does not see very well either. I enjoy your blogs and posted keep smiling you’ve had much worse x Brenda a ever smiling server from England

      1. Reginald van der Slythe III

        Umm drink bleach please!?!


        I look forward to the day your kids, sick of your bullshit, stick you in a home and forget about you. Unless that asteroid hits you all first.

  8. Amanda

    I love YOU bitchy waiter! You bring a ray of sunshine to my day when you point out the common indecency of so many of the people we in the service industry are compelled to tolerate. Its nice to see the occasional backlash to unbridled idiocy.

  9. Jocelyn

    Honestly, it sounds more like she’s the one jealous and upset she’s not gay. Also, your hair is magnificent.

  10. Jess

    Like Jesus Christ, not much from trolls or generally worthless people can get me fired up, BUT I ADORE YOU so I dare someone to try and attack you, man. 😂

  11. SlaySlaySlayAllDay

    As a server, who has earned a shitty yelp review myself, FUCK YOU ALI. Quit being a whiner and a twat. Didn’t have a nice meal? No need for name calling, just leave a two star review on Yelp and shut your mouth. The person you called a ‘creature’ has feelings. Obviously you fuckin don’t, so I hope for the rest of your life, which I hope is long and lonely (because you’re a cunt), I hope your food at every restaurant has beautiful curly blonde hair in it. Or spit. Spit would be fine too.

  12. Maria

    It’s more than a little sad that she is missing the irony of her own comments…first she was upset that the staff asked her child to behave, and then she wishes bus loads of children on you like it’s a bad thing…which is it? Children are blessings or problems?? As a long time server people like this are a waste of space, but it always entertains me to watch them squirm, they just can’t see past their own ignorance…her entire response was just plain dumb lol

      1. Who knows

        Speaking of spellcheck…maybe you should try using it on occasion. To modify a quote from ancient Saturday Night Live, “Ali, you ignorant slut.”

  13. Christina Matlock

    Me and my server friends love your page. I look forward to seeing your post and more often then not get a real good laugh out of them. It’s a shame how ignorant our species can really be…. but anyways here’s to us!!!!!

  14. Matt

    This allison person definately has some ego problems. You handled the whole situation hilariously and made her look even worse than she already is, well done. And possibly show ali some local therapy clinics in her immediate area, she most likely needs it.

  15. Molly

    Clearly this woman is a nightmare all around, and your comments to her are amazing, but one part really stood out: EMPLOYEES READ YELP REVIEWS FOR THEIR WORK. I really wish people would think about that before they hit ‘publish.’ Obviously this specific person doesn’t give a shit if she’s going to call staff members creatures and then unleash on you — she’s on a different level, but especially for those on a more normal level of shitty — does it make them feel better, as a grown adult, to tattle tale on another grown adult on the internet? When the other adult can’t really respond back? It’s a public shaming forum and I can’t stand it. One thing I hate about working in a restaurant is that there are no sick days. If we don’t go to work, we don’t get paid. And sometimes we have to show up when we really should have stayed home, whether we’re sick or otherwise. I received an upsetting medical diagnosis over the phone one afternoon, and I tried to take the night off to process everything, but no one could cover for me, so I had to go in. Thankfully I pulled through the shift okay, but it was pretty hard on that specific day to leave it at the door. I wish people who work in different fields of employment understood this aspect of our job a bit better. I would never compromise my service when I’m not feeling 100%, but sometimes I go into “all business” mode, where I politely answer questions, make drinks, and make sure you have everything you need. Only difference is, I’m not “on” or putting on my normal show. Nowadays, if you’re not smiling 100% of the time or have a super bubbly personality, people think you’re “rude” or have an “attitude.”

    Anyway, sorry for the rant, I just hate yelp so much and I wish there was some sort of standard for who can and can’t write reviews, instead of it just being a free-for-all.

  16. Amy

    Ali, when you walked down the narrow staircase into the underground restaurant, which is dark and full of private little nooks and crannies, did you really think this was going to be a good place for your 5 year old to spend his time? It screams FOR ADULTS. I’m fairly sure they don’t even have a children’s menu. This is very clear on the Yelp page where you left your review: “Good for kids – NO”. It is a cocktail lounge, not Chuck E Cheese, and certainly not MacDonald’s. There is however a MacDonald’s, a Wendy’s, a Subway and several other kid friendly restaurants within blocks of the Rabbit Hole. Your little darling darting up and down the many staircases was a best a danger to other people who were trying to negotiate their way through the fairly small space. At worst, it was a plate of hot food or a tray of cold drinks being dumped right on your son, which seriously may have caused him injury (their plates are heavy china, not paper like at Chuck E Cheese, a restaurant which is in fact, a playground). So in the future, don’t blame the staff for trying to keep your kid safe, put down your chardonnay and do it yourself.

  17. G.B. Miller

    I thought the comment about you being angry for being day was absolutely priceless. Since when does anyone’s sexuality come into play for a review or even a comment? Personally, I think that another good response to giving that person the bird would be to say, “why yes, I am a lovely bundle of trees, thank you for the compliment”. But that would probably require the person receiving it would know something about the English language and would know how to open a dictionary.

  18. Bobbie

    I just have to say I love you. Love the DNA you leave in my food as you prance by not doing your real job. Seriously tho. You are amazing, I have watched your interview you had on tv. Loved it, I look forward to everything you post. Some people don’t understand what it is like waiting tables. I can say this, before I destroyed my back. That server job I had paid for a car, house, school, anything my kid wanted. Now I have the great 9 to 5 job. I miss snot nosed kids with troll pricks of a mothers.

  19. Ericka

    Your hair is flawless and fits your personality perfectly! And you already know this woman is just pure hate… It is sad. I am completely disgusted by her words….

  20. Brandi Davis

    You send me an mailing address and I will provide you with the Internet Troll Prick shirt. I work for an apparel and promo company, and it would be my honor.

  21. Glen

    I love Brandi’s t-shirt idea. Post a picture! You could even start a new segment. “Internet Troll Prick of the Month.”

    I 💘 B.W.!


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