An IHOP in the Seattle area is looking for some new employees and the manager there is not fucking around. Based on the posting that was placed on the front door, this manager must have heard every excuse under the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity Sun, because every base is covered to keep out the crappy employees. I hid the phone number so they aren’t inundated with calls from people desperate to serve up some Raspberry Sweet Cream Cheese Crepes and Bacon Crusted Chicken Breasts.
Please do not apply if you oversleep, have court often, do not have a babysitter every day, have to get rides to work later than our work day begins, experience flat tires every week, have to hold a cell phone all day, or will become an expert at your job with no need to take advice after the first day. Must be able to talk and work at the same time. Must also remember to come back to work after lunch. Should not expect to receive gold stars for being on time. If you qualify leave name and number at (206) ***-****.
Some people may think this is the kind of manager they would not want to work for, but to me it sounds like a dream scenario. I hate when I bust my ass to get to work on time every day and some lazy waitress drags her ass in late very other day with another brilliant excuse. (Shout out to my friend Todd who once showed up late to his job at Dillard’s department store carrying his muffler under his arm claiming that it fell off his car.) I say thank you to this manager for weeding out all the wrong people right from the get go. It saves everyone a lot of time. No employer wants to learn that you have child care issues after they have put you on the schedule. No employer wants to get a text message thirty minutes before the shift begins because you are in court again this week. And most impressively, no employer wants to hire someone who thinks they know everything without being told. Those are exactly the kinds of employees I don’t want to work with and that’s why I think this job posting is straight up brilliant. It’s also straight up bitchy, so I love it for a lot of reasons. You might not get a gold star for working there, but I give one to whoever printed this out and taped it to the front door of IHOP.
What do you think? Did this manager go too far or are they doing what they need to do to ensure the highest quality of servers? Tell me your thoughts in the comments section below.
The Prozac Queen
Add, “…have frequent hangovers because of staying out all night drinking” or something related and you’ll have one of my jobs…especially if said party-ers are applying for hosting/management positions. Yes, that’s happened. I wish them well, but it’s kind of hard when that person is the only one who can open the office and get the cash register.
It’s also very telling that the first question on another place’s application was, “Can you get through an entire shift without smoking?” No lie.
William
If your getting paid to do the job the. Work hard for the money PERIOD. Tired of lazy ass people trying to make the most with the least amount of work. You lazy fucks
Michele
I work at IHOP. I can’t begin to tell you how many doubles I’ve pulled because people call off last minute.
Jane-O
This is perfect, I have great respect for the manager who posted this.
Serenity
Yup, love it. Problem at my current job is, manager loves to hire her personal friends and relatives. Some of them are good workers, but are mean and nasty to the other workers bc they know they can get away with it. Others, not so great, and still consistently get shifts after no show/no calling SEVERAL times, show up to work looking unkempt and dirty, and just in general not very good at their jobs. In the meantime, the good but unrelated workers get treated unfairly, and lose shifts so she can hire more relatives in the middle of slow season. She will also assign large parties to only her friends and relatives, regardless of whether it was their turn or not. Soon, she is gonna be stuck with only those people, as the rest of it, including myself, have had it. I’ve already been hired by another place, the owner met me thru my current job and asked me to come work for her. Since she is a fair boss, we are just waiting for slow season to end so her current workers aren’t giving up shifts for me. So, in another month…hasta! and good luck with that!
Denny Ballmann
For 30 years I tried to be this kind of manager. I always wanted what was fair for everyone. Restaurant work is really all about teamwork and when one person doesn’t carry their share, it’s not fair to the rest. But more and more, Corporate HR does everything they can to protect the slackers because they are afaid of litigation. In many cases my hands were tied and I was left standing there looking like an idiot because you cannot discuss it in public. That bad behavior can ruin the teamwork in restaurant in no time.
Jo
What is with people at work texting on their phones. I was waiting to put an order in and the employee was texting on their phone ignoring me standing there. It couldn’t have been anything that important because she was smiling as her fingers text away. I finally walked away and went to another store to purchase over
$45.00 dollars of merchandise I had in my cart. I hope the girl with the phone at least put away what I left in the cart because melted ice cream can ruin the frozen pizza and pack of hamburgers that were at the bottom.
Kylie
You’re kind of a jerk for leaving all the stuff behind. She may have been rude but did that really entitle you to be childish in return? You’re no better than she is.
Anonymous
Ah bitchy waiter.. I am so pleased to see you making this go viral. I had worked at this store. My old manager posted that sign. Now I know I wasn’t a perfect employee but I work my ass off. When I worked there we had alot of the issues listed. I suppose he’s just had it with the shenanigans lol .. The area is horrible and doing the early morning with street crud coming in, was not fun , who wants to wake up to drag junkies outta the bathroom then sanitize yourself before dropping someone their pancakes.. And no appreciation whatsoever.. Treat your employees a bit better maybe they’d actually want to work and do a good job . juat sayin… And yes he is a fucking savage.
Erica
As a manager this is the same thing I tell people during an interview. I tell them right up front that I am blunt, will not deal with bullshit, and if they are unable to be an adult that the door is right up front. I love my employees and find that when they realize I won’t let anyone bring the team down that they are happier, more efficient, which makes customers happy.
Davej
It’s called work ethic, and it’s brilliant. It’s what you’re supposed to learn when going to school.
JimG
No, It’s what you should have learned from your parents!
David Cowling
Apparently if you start paying people $15 per hour employers expect you to give back an equitable amount of effort.
Helen
Yes, because paying your staff enough to live is an act of great munificence.
California Girl
Based on the reply about $15 hrly plus your high marks for covering all the bases, it sounds reasonable.
The Prozac Queen
Sounds reasonable anyway…it’s been the bane of my manager’s existence to have to accommodate people’s childcare schedule hiccups. At least with court appearances you can plan in advance, but there have been several people leave because they couldn’t get a sitter and waited until the very last minute to let anyone know…I’m talking every week, not just once or twice. I’m not saying it’s not rough but it can be really hard on the manager to make the schedule and on the person who is crash-called in to take the shift (often me!).
Rachel
Well minimum wage in SeaTac is $15. Plus tips so I think it’s very reasonable to expect a level of commitment and competency equal to the level of pay. More power to him. I am surprised however that there is not an outcry about discrimination lol
Amy D
And now I’m trying to figure out how to move to SeaTac! Lol Jeez that’s just being an adult with a job, and in Tn we get $2.13/hr + tips serving and I made $5/hr + tips bartending!! I’d love that job!! Oh and frikkin love your blog! You are my male bitchy equivalent!
Melony
Amen, wish I could post at the Ihop i work at….along with other guide lines…..
Emaly
Wished I would have had an employer like this when I was busting my ass as a waitress.. Was always there doing double shifts every damn day of the week so others could call in *sick* so they could party. Got treated like shit, but still did my job. And when I really needed a day off for something generally pretty important which wasn’t often mind you. I couldn’t have those days. Please train more managers like this. Is send them my way.
Parvati
YES!!!! Love this! The hardest part about this job is the people, and sometimes hat includes the employees too!
Yossefi
Yes !!!Lets write about psychos in our trenches !!Customers come and go .Tip or stiff . But when your main enemy is your “boss” or coworker …good luck
Sarah
This is AWESOME! Iff been at my job for 2 years now and just had a day taken to give to a new girl. I’m the only one who has called out 3 times in 2 years, stays late, and comes in on my days off cause no one else will. But they’re the ones that keep their shifts. And I’ll deep clean the restaurant, (booths, chairs, ice machine, register area,ect) but yet I’m treated like garbage. This is deff the kind of manager I’d want to work for. Seems like he or she won’t put up with bull shit. Lol. Btw, i LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog. Xoxo
Yossefi
Hey Sarah .I thought I was the only fool. Just kidding .Im not a fool .Just trying to survive in hostile work env. My asshole of a boss harrases me for things that were done on my days off .Go figure …Someone didn’t stock the cups …I was off 2 days …guess who is grilled about it .One day I will have to cut that he-bitch Joker size smile .He goes to my tables .Takes the order wrong .Guess who gets blamed ?
Kathyrn Turner
Couldn’t have said it better myself! I work part time and when someone doesn’t show. The rule at our pub is “no call, no show, no job”. Some employees don’t believe it, but they find out soon enough. I love this sign!