TGI Fridays Does Not Want You Smoking Weed

Dude, I am so pissed off at TGI Fridays right now. Like, totally. I mean, all I wanted last night was to satisfy my craving for some of those new Chicken Tostado Nachos. For some reason, they just sounded better than anything in the world. It was like I was in this big giant dessert like the Sahara or something and I was dying for a drink of water but instead of the Sahara I was in Denver and instead of water I wanted some crispy tortillas loaded with grilled all-natural chicken and stuff. So I took the bus all the way out to Aurora Mall, with two transfers, by the way. They closed at 2:00 AM and I was there at 12:45, so plenty of time, right? And I get there and get seated and order my nachos and a strawberry banana smoothie and then like two minutes later, this lady comes over and she’s all, “Umm, I think I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.” And I was like, whoa, what? And then she said it again: ‘I think I’m going to ask you to leave.” So I says to her, “You think you are or you are? Cause I just want some nachos, man. Oh, and can I get extra of that Cotija cheese? That shit is the bomb.”

Then she gets all up in my personal space and starts sniffing me. Seriously, it’s like she’s a dog and my face is the ass of a poodle that she can’t wait to get a piece of. I think she must be kinda into me so I start sniffing her back. I crammed my face into her hair, expecting it to smell like Pantene or something but it smells like a truffle stacked burger instead which I am totally cool with. It smelled pretty good and I almost took a bite out her bangs.

“You need to go, sir,” she told me. “Right now or I will call the police.”

“All I did was smell your hair! You smelled me first!”

And then her face got real serious. She reminded me of this time in junior high school when the librarian told me it was inappropriate to take off my shirt during study hall. (In my defense, that library was like 100 degrees that day.) “Sir,” she said. “You smell like the marijuana and we do not condone that activity here at TGI Fridays. You need to go.”

I started laughing at her because I thought she was kidding. Besides, I smelled more like patchouli than anything else.

“Oh, that’s a good one. Hey, can I get extra chipotle crema too?”

“Get out. NOW!”

That’s when I realized she was totally for real. I saw my waitress bringing my smoothie in a to-go cup. She handed it to me and told me that she paid for it herself. “Light one up for me, alright?”

“Becky, you cannot pay for his strawberry banana smoothie,” said the manager.

“Umm, yes I can,” said Becky as she walked away.

I was dumbfounded. “So you are kicking me out because I smell like weed even thought it is totally legal in this state and I used it in the privacy of my own home and then took public transportation to get here? You do realize that the sell of marijuana made over $150 million in taxes and that $40 million of that went directly to our public schools, right? I am doing you a favor by smoking weed. Can I please get my nachos to go?”

“No. Out.” And she pointed toward the door.

So I left with my smoothie (thanks, Becky!) and as I stood outside the restaurant I watched her hang a sign on the door:

TGI Fridays will not serve/seat guest with strong marijuana odor.

So now I know. the next time I go to TGI Fridays, I just need to put on some more patchouli oil. If they won’t serve me with a strong odor of pot, I need to make sure it just smells just a little bit like pot.

And then I went to 7-11 and got a burrito, a Butterfinger, a Pepsi and a bag of Doritos. I took and Uber home.

Fuck you, TGI Fridays.

Please note: this is a fictional story based on a random photo that was sent to me, but I’m pretty sure it’s about 99% accurate.

10 thoughts on “TGI Fridays Does Not Want You Smoking Weed

  1. Berlin

    Yeah, what the hell? Little do most customers and co-workers know that the only thing keeping me from going straight homicidal is a dab or hit or cookie or…I must say that most of my customers reeking of weed are shitty tippers, undecisive, want tons of ranch and water, but laid back and friendly. Unlike the customers reeking of booze….

    Reply
  2. Luney

    I didn’t think they drug tested so why would they care? I did work there back in the day and had a table that reeked, but I was used to it. It was when they had endless wings and my table was waiting on their second round. (Nice people btw, just hungry, I’m assuming from the muchies) a table was sat in the booth next to them, and I didn’t think much of it as I knew them and got their drinks. As I had drinks in hand, the girl on the end flags me over, and tells me they’d like their check and the rest to go as they needed to leave. I figured something came up. But as she opened up her purse to hand me the cash I was over come with the all to well known stench! She must have had a full purse. Laughing to myself, I realize why they needed to leave in such a hurry. The table that had sat down next to them was three cops and the one officers wife. (Regulars) and no, it is not legal in our state. Although I doubted these particular officers would have cared.. lol…

    Reply
  3. Kayla

    This was posted at a TGI Friday’s in Maryland, Corporate has already come out and said that this was not their doing and it was just the management in that restaurant and it would be taken care of. I work at Friday’s and we would loose half of our business if this was the case.

    Reply
  4. Manda

    This is definitely not true of my TGI Fridays in royal palm beach Florida that I currently serve at …… I served MANY MANY MANY guests that come in reaking of that good high quality marijuana smell on a daily basis and I’m 8 months pregnant so that smell hits me hard per than it would most people at this point in time lol…. n we proudly will serve a smoker no problem at all…😎

    Reply
  5. freewhitebaby

    Fuck them. They’re over-priced anyway and there’s always a Ruby Tuesday’s a block away that doesn’t give a shit what you smell like.

    Reply

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