Man Wants Applebee’s to Change Their Policy

Attention everyone who works at Applebee’s or any other restaurant in the world where it is your job to encourage your customers to buy more food because a restaurant is a business that relies on making a profit: Bill wants you to change your policy and stop trying to sell food!!

At a recent trip to Applebee’s, Bill experienced the dreaded “upsell.” After enjoying his salad and water, his server performed the customary action of trying to convince him to buy dessert. Bill did not like that, claiming that since he just had salad and water, it should be obvious he does not want dessert. Never mind that maybe he ate salad and drank water with the sole intention of blowing his Weight Watchers points on a piece of cheesecake…

Bill, it’s our job to try to get you to buy stuff. Maybe you thought the only reason a restaurant ever opens is to give you the opportunity to come fill your gut with prepackaged food that you don’t have to microwave yourself. Nope. A restaurant opens for the owners of it to make money. And servers want you to buy as much as possible because the more you buy, the more we make in tips (theoretically.) That’s why when you ask for a vodka cranberry your server will usually say something like, “Oh would you prefer Kettle One or Grey Goose?” We don’t want you to settle on McCormick bottom shelf vodka. We want to add a dollar or two to your check. That’s called doing business.

Have you ever been to Best Buy and bought an electronic? Did they try to convince you to buy the extended warranty or tell you that a certain cord is better than the cord you currently have? Upsell!

Have you ever bought a new car and had the salesperson tell you how much nicer the car would be with leather seats instead of vinyl? Upsell!

Have you ever bought a gym membership (probably not…) and it was only $1.99 a month but if you wanted to come in at a time other than midnight to 3:00 AM it would bump up the cost to $25 a month? Or maybe if you want to use towels or the steam room, you pay an additional fee? Upsell!

It’s the way of the world, Bill. In the future, if your server is doing their job and offers you cheesecake when you don’t want it, I have a suggestion for you:

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