Customer Releases Secret Way To Earn Huge Tips

Stop the presses, servers. We have just discovered a way to increase our tips and if we all are able to incorporate this technique into our daily routine, it should only be a matter of weeks before we can all retire with immense wealth in our aprons, pockets and bank accounts. Shockingly, this trick comes from a customer who left the information in a handwritten note for their server. Luckily, a photo of that note was sent to me so I can share it to with the world. Honestly, it’s like finding the Rosetta Stone or the Holy Grail.

Are you ready to learn how you can soon be richer than your wildest dreams?

Are you sure you can you handle it?

This is going to blow your mind.

How to help servers get better tips.
Have them hand out a small treat (like a mint) with the check.
Put it under or inside the check to ‘hide” it.
It will make the guests feel special and treated and they should tip more.

Sweet Jesus, this is going to change our lives! I’m surprised this message wasn’t delivered via a burning bush because it is basically a miracle. Why have I never thought of this? I am dropping what I am doing right now so I can head over to the dollar store and buy a bag of Peppermint Starlight Mints. I figure I can get a bag of 100 for about $1.99. If I put one mint down with each check, that should guarantee me an extra $10. That’s like a $1000 for a $1.99 investment, y’all!

And thankfully, I know now to “hide” the mint so it will make the customer feel special when they find it. It makes total sense. I remember how it felt when I was a kid and I would find an Easter egg or discover a quarter under my pillow from the tooth fairy. (Yes, a quarter. It was the 70s. That’s all that cheap bitch left in those days.) It made me feel special, you know? Sorta like a pirate must have felt when he found a buried treasure on an island or discovered a new herpes sore that he picked up from a seafaring wench whore. This is going to change our lives!

Oh, wait. Has this been done already? I seem to recall that when I was but a wee bitchy waiter of 8 or 9 years old, my family would go to eat Mexican food at a place called Monterey House. When they brought us a basket of chips, underneath the pile of of fried crispy deliciousness, there would be some goat milk candy. And then they would bring us more when they served the check. I don’t know if it made my parents leave more money, but I do know that it meant whenever me and my brothers wanted dessert, our parents would say, “You can just eat that candy for dessert, no.”

And doesn’t Olive Garden do this too? Are there any Olive Garden slaves out there that can confirm or deny?

Oh, yeah, and I remember one time I was working Valentine’s Day and I bought a bag of Hershey Kisses to give to each table with their check. I don’t recall that it increased my tips, but then again, I wasn’t hiding them. Foolishly, I just laid them on the table, not giving my customers the opportunity to find the, therefore, not allowing them to feel special. God, what an idiot I was.

Well, I suppose this technique is worth a try. I have to go to the dollar store today to buy toilet paper and paper towels anyway so I may as well buy a bag of gross cheap candy to pawn off to my customers in a pathetic attempt to get few extra dollars out of them.

Thank you to the person who wrote this note. If your plan works, I expect to be retired in about three weeks. And you should try it too. Let’s all get rich together!

Discussion

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