In a shocking turn of events, a woman in Warsaw, Indiana recently went out to dinner and actually looked at the menu and decided what she was and wasn’t able to eat due to her gluten intolerance. Shirley Kay Farine, 68, is unable to eat anything with gluten because of a sensitivity. After educating herself about what foods would be most likely to upset her delicate system, she simply looked at the menu at Flynn’s Inn and determined that she could order the roasted chicken as long as any sauce was left off the plate. The chicken came with green beans and mashed potatoes.
Ms. Farine’s waitress, 42-year-old Beth Meyerson, was shocked. “I just could not believe it,” she said. “Most of the time when someone can’t have gluten, they don’t even bother looking at the menu. They just tell me they’re gluten-free and then expect me to list everything they can eat, like it’s my problem. I was really surprised that she was able to do that. I wish more customers were like her.”
When pressed as to why she didn’t just ask the server to accommodate her needs, Ms. Farine stated that her diet was her own responsibility. “Of course I know that I can’t eat pasta or sandwiches, that’s obvious, so I looked at the menu online before I got there and deduced what was right for me. I did confirm with my waitress that my choices were gluten-free. It’s really not that hard to figure out. Only a self-serving asshole would expect their server to do it for them. I just know what I can have and then I only need to ask a couple of simple questions.”
Albert Flynn, the owner of the establishment, was equally impressed with her ability and released a statement about the event:
We at Flynn’s Inn would like to thank Ms. Farine for doing the due diligence that is required when one has an allergy. Too many people do not care enough about their own health to do what she did. We appreciate her foresight and hope that more customers will take her example. We are always happy to adjust a menu item for someone’s allergy, but it is nice to know that she pretty much figured it out on her own by reading the menu. In her honor, we have renamed our chicken dish and it is now called Shirley Kay’s Okay Chicken.
Meyerson was also grateful for the 20% tip she received. “It really was just an amazing day. I mean, a gluten-free customer who wasn’t annoying as fuck? That hardly ever happens!”
Ms. Farine wants other gluten-free customers to figure that shit out. “It’s alright to ask a question or two, but in the end, it’s your own damn responsibility. Don’t be a pain in the ass.”
You can read the original story by clicking here.
Scotty
I am reading a lot of “If the server has a problem taking 30 seconds to check…” or “A mere 3 minutes”…. Well 99% of servers DO take the 30 seconds, we write “Gluten Free” on the POS order, we go into the kitchen and check if we aren’t certain. We take things back if the kitchen made a mistake. The management and staff routinely familiarize themselves with any and all new dishes and their potential allergens,
Part of the problem lies in that the gluten free brigade keeps going on, and on and ON about it to a very irritating and time consuming point. Yes Celiac Disease is real, as is Asperger’s, as are many diseases, conditions and states. Although some of these become frankly “trendy”…It seems to have happened in sync with the internet and social media. People read about them, and then self diagnose. Yes, I am saying, some of the people out there are misinformed, convinced of an illness without a professional medical diagnosis, some people are simply precious little snowflakes who want some attention.
If there are so many serious allergies, start gluten free restaurants. It’s like vegans and vegetarians who come to a steakhouse with friends for a birthday or office party and expect the staff to do cartwheels to appease them. Here’s a hint….”STEAK-House” Go to House of Kale . I have no doubt there will be lots of hipsters there with whom you can bond over your dietary restrictions with.
Philip Jackson
A girl can always dream. Sigh…………
The Prozac Queen
I don’t personally have a problem with customers with allergies asking questions about the menu. I think the problem a lot of people have is that there are so many people who go gluten-free or GMO- free or whatever because they’ve jumped on every food-hate bandwagon and think they’re better than everyone else because we’re “uninformed”. I personally know people who will lecture you about why you shouldn’t eat something that is perfectly fine because of all these “chemicals” or “processing”…half the time they don’t know what they’re talking about and I think it ruins things for people who really do have these allergies.
I have no problem asking the cooks questions and most restaurants will accommodate you. It’s the snobs who don’t look things up on their own who are annoying. Those people would be annoying regardless…
Jeff
Best customer ever. Knows what they can handle. Also best server ever. Knows their stuff.
Honestly, if you have specific dietary needs, regardless of their origin, you should be able to look at a menu and ask questions about it.
Most of the time, we don’t know you. Sometimes we don’t know the details about our menu items. It’s a learning experience for everyone involved.
Let’s just give each other a breather and understand that we are doing the best we can on both sides of the menu.
Cheers,
Jeff
Not-So-Bitchy
Wow. The humanity on both sides of this argument is severely lacking. I understand both perspectives but I don’t understand why you are all so nasty to each other. Good grief
dead_elvis
Glad to see most of the commenters entirely missed the point!
Susannah
Thank you, Vee, I was beginning to think that no one actually read the samn story. To all the people whining about it- no one is saying that you shouldn’t ask questions! If course you should, otherwise you might accidently get poisoned. Were just saying maybe read the menu instead of sitting down and expecting your server to act as a menu. Also, the vast majority of servers take allergies and sensitivities very seriously, but we all have dozens of stories of people who obviously are liars, it makes us a little bitter. I don’t like having to neglect 3 of my 4 tables because one won’t stop asking stupid questions because she can’t have gluten, only to have her order a dann pizza and chocolate cake. Don’t be mad at servers for not immediately believing you, be mad at all the assholes who fake your illness.
angie
You can be allergic to a food and not have it affect you in every form. I am allergic to tomatoes, to the point that if someone just takes a tomato off my burger th juice still gives me burning blisters in my mouth. It’s even less enjoyable what happens when I actually EAT a tomato. But ketchup? No problem. Sometimes overprocessing turns a food into something else entirely.
Vee
They’re not saying that you shouldn’t be asking servers questions about ingredients in the food. They’re saying that people shouldn’t state that they’re allergic to gluten and then expected to be told what on the menu can be eaten by them. The point of this article is that the woman *looked at her menu and made a choice before asking the server a question*. It does say that she confirmed that everything she ordered was gluten-free, meaning she did ask the server a question, she just didn’t ask the server to repeat the menu when it was right in front of her. I realize allergies suck, but they’re pointing out that if you know what you can and can’t eat, you should be able to identify what you can eat in a restaurant on your own, before confirming with the server that the dish is suitable for you. Look at the menu and order things that are the least likely things to have gluten in them, or ask things like “do you have gluten free bread here?”. Don’t say “I’m gluten free, please list for me the things on your menu so I don’t have to look at it”. I realize it makes more work for you, but people with other allergies do it, not to mention picky eaters. As a picky eater, I don’t walk in and list the (long) list of things that I don’t like to the server and then expect her to list for me what I could order. I look at the menu, item by item, until I know what items are free from foods I don’t like. I then choose from that selection, and sometimes confirm with the server if certain things are unclear, like what vegetables are in the vegetable mix, or whether there’s meat in the sauce. And I reiterate what other people are saying about the fakers. I used to work at McDonalds and people would ask for a Big Mac with no pickles due to an allergy. I then asked if they wanted it without the Mac sauce as well, to which they got very confused and told me that, of course they wanted Mac sauce. I then had to explain that the Mac sauce has pickles in it so I couldn’t in good conscience sell it to them as they would have an allergic reaction. They would then cancel the order and order a normal Big Mac. Same thing with tomatoes and ketchup.
True Cooks
THIS.
Apparently a lack of reading comprehension is a problem with all the people bitching after reading this.
Stacia
I have worked in restaurant industry for over 20 years and i think you missing the point. I get it all the time in a 12 table Italian restaurant with 10 burners. I say look over menu and then we will talk. Dishes can be made gluten free and I do know what gluten is. Unfortunately our cooks that have taken the allergy course sometimes do not. Don’t blame the middle man and don’t say to me “what is gluten free?” help yourself and I will help you don’t put it on me and act like you don’t know how to read and that is that this article is about. And for those of you with Celiac i feel for you but, the majority of the customers i get will eat a basket of bread or when i comes to dessert the cake it ok. See it from the other side. Last night i had someone ask me to put Fruitti De mare over Veggies I did… she chose a sauce i said no that is not safe its thickened with flour she told me she wanted it anyways. It is in fact frustrating and it is hard to tell who is allergic and who is part of the fad. We take allergies very seriously Peanut, shellfish, soy, egg and gluten. Trust me no waiter wants an allergic reaction to happen in their section.
Education is Key
I praise a server who knows their stuff. When I go into a restaurant and figure out what I’d like to eat I then ask questions to assure that my meal is Gluten-free. If a server can understand my position with being Celiac then things go a lot smoother. If they don’t understand then I give them a quick lesson on what Celiac Disease is and how gluten effects my body. One of the problems I believe lately is the “Gluten-free” diet fad. Those who choose to eliminate gluten from their diet. That’s all fine (although not really healthy) and good if they want to do that, their choice but then stick to a GF diet like you have Celiac’s. Then when one of us real sufferers come in servers won’t assume we are just choosing to follow the “dumb” GF diet. Education is the key in getting the word out and helping people understand that Celiac Disease is a harmful problem for our bodies. One article I read stated the Celiac people have their chances for colon cancer upped by over 70%. And for those of you who poo-poo our disease just know that Colon cancer can be a death sentence. So try having so consideration for those of us who suffer from this crazy, not fun or tasty disease. And watch out, you just might be in our shoes one day. I was diagnosed when I was 44 after months of thinking I was losing my mind and had unbearable joint pain along with tons of other symptoms.
Loyalbitchyserver
As someone who has been in the restaurant industry for almost a decade, I firmly believe gluten allergies are not a real thing servers should be concerned with. There was no such thing as gluten free menus 5 years ago, where were your allergies then? Most gluten sensitive people are just trying to lose weight.
Education is Key
I hope you don’t ever get diagnosed with Celiac Disease. There is a clip from the Mayo Clinic. (if you’ve never heard of them, look them up. Highly noted medical clinic)
More than 200,000 US cases per year
Can’t be cured, but treatment may help
Requires a medical diagnosis
Lab tests or imaging often required
Chronic: can last for years or be lifelong
Over time, the immune reaction to eating gluten creates inflammation that damages the small intestine’s lining, leading to medical complications. It also prevents absorption of some nutrients (malabsorption).
The classic symptom is diarrhea. Other symptoms include bloating, gas, fatigue, low blood count (anemia), and osteoporosis. Many people have no symptoms.
The mainstay of treatment is a strict gluten-free diet that can help manage symptoms and promote intestinal healing.
Or maybe this will help you understand more
https://celiac.org/celiac-disease/understanding-celiac-disease-2/what-is-celiac-disease/
Check this out and maybe you will have more info and therefore have more understanding and sympathy for the people who suffer from this DISEASE!
Cara
Thank you for saying this. This stupid article completely ignores the issue of cross-contamination. My daughter has celiac and yes, I do have to ask questions WHENEVER we go out to eat because there is gluten in soy sauce, in the oil used to fry both fries (which start off as a gluten-free food) and chicken nuggets (which do not), and so many other places you might not expect. I have had a waiter tell me I can just “scrape off” the breading all over my daughter’s lamb chop when we’d carefully explained it had to be PLAIN. On and on and on. We are not doing this for attention or because we enjoy being difficult. My daughter will get very sick if she ingests gluten (long-term, it can even lead to cancer). Some servers and chefs are understanding and well-informed on this issue- often, they are people who have loved ones with celiac disease. Too bad so many people need to be ignorant, judgmental, and unkind instead.
DarlingCC
Dear Servers,
I read online menus beforehand whenever they are available. I appreciate it when restaurants make it easier for me decipher what is and is not safe for me to eat, as someone with an autoimmune disorder. This was not a crunchy-hippie choice I made for myself, but an actual diagnosis from an actual doctor. Therefore, I must take extra precautions and ask what may seem, to the understandably uneducated (I don’t actually expect you to know as much as I do about this), as very annoying questions. It truly is important for me to know that your kitchen staff uses clean, unused utensils and cookware when preparing my food. So please, be patient with me. I can very rarely enjoy the simple pleasures of eating food which I do not prepare myself. I have to trust every person who comes into contact with my food. This is not easy. I must ask these questions, which are tiresome I know, even when the menu says a dish is gluten free. Please don’t assume I’m being silly and ignore my requests and make light of my concerns. I do tip very well and greatly appreciate the service you give me
Jack
This is ridiculous. Shows you how stupid waiters are. Gluten is hidden in the dumbest way. Customers must always ask! The broccoli in many place are sprinkled with a salt that contains gluten. It can be slipped into butter plain potatoes. Always ask those shts what is gf bc it IS their job and their problem and stop sneaking the croutons off. Remake the damn salad. Stop bring lazy douchbags. If I’m overpaying by a thousand percent be curtains to me. Without me you have no job
Church
And without me you have to cook for your damn self, you lazy pretentious ass
Philip Jackson
It’s curtains for me I tell ya. Curtains!
Miguel Lugo
My wife of 23 years was suddenly diagnosed with an extreme allergy to gluten, shortly there after and as a result of an allergic reaction to the treatment for her gluten allergy her pancreas ceased producing insulin. We used to go out to dinner once a week, I love to try new places and different cuisine. Now we are limited to a few places with gluten free menus choices, but most importantly with an educated kitchen and server staff. Is not just the ingredients, but the utensils used for cooking the meal should also be changed when cooking her meal. We are not asking the server knows what is or isnt gluten free, but they should at least know what gluten is and have an idea of where it is normally found. Once we stopped at a fine restaurant with a five star rating and we asked the server if he knew if their ranch dressing was gluten free. He stated he didnt know so he went to ask the chef. Minutes later he came back smiling and said, “the chef said he doesnt know of anyone that puts peanuts in ranch dressing”, we $2 on the table for the server and walked out without ordering
Gary Gluten
A five star restaurant that serves ranch dressing? Really?
Philip Jackson
Thank you Gary!
Gabe
I guess I don’t understand this attack on customers with an allergy to gluten. I have Celiacs disease and I like to believe I’m not “annoying as fuck.” Sometimes we want to eat out without shitting liquids for three days straight. Best way to ensure that is to ask the bitchy waitress… Or maybe I should just guess what does or does not have gluten and shit blood just so you’re not “annoyed” while you do your fucking job and take thirty seconds to ask the chef if something had gluten in it.
Sophia Mullen
Yes, thank you. My reaction is throwing up for a week with intense stomach bloating, swollen joints, and blood in my stool. Sometimes it’s so bad that I bleed like a period throughout the day. I feel no sympathy for the restaurant staff.
A Bitchy Server
“ask the bitchy waitress” you say, on a site called “the bitchy waiter”.
peculiar.
very.
peculiar. if you don’t want to show off your misogyny, try using the word “server”, it makes you sound slightly less like someone who has a problem with women.
Gluten is everywhere
It would be great if merely looking at a menu was enough to know something ia gluten free, but unless the restaurant is totally gluten free or does a great job at preventing cross contamination, looking at the menu isn’t enough. Questions have to be asked because an allegedly gluten free thing, like gluten free pasta is not gluten free if it is cooked in the same pot of water as normal pasta. Same goes for anything fried in a common fryer as things containing wheat. Not to mention, some restaurants think it is okay to just “take out the croutons” rather than tell you that it isn’t a gluten free option. I would love it to be as easy as looking at a menu, but the fact is that places advertise gluten free and then fail to prevent cross contamination resulting in it not being gluten free. Even if they have a gluten free menu. What I find annoying is when wait staff says something is gluten free and then I’m later in agony because something was claimed to be gluten free on the menu, but clearly wasn’t because measures weren’t taken to ensure it wasn’t contaminated.
Kmyowa
But asking if a particular dish is gluten free is a lot different than asking the server to recite a list of foods that are. It’s going to typically take much less time to answer yes or no than telling you a comprehensive list.
Nance
Kiya
Most people with gluten issues have an idea what they should be able to eat on the menu, but it is necessary to ask anyway because so many cooks seem to use flour or breadcrums as a secret ingredient in things like chicken salad, potato salad, mashed potatos, almost all soup, many meat dishes, barbecue sauce, etc. So I am real sorry that servers are so annoyed, but this is a serious issue for some of us. A Few restaurants, especially some chains, have gluten safe items marked on the menu. This is a big help. If we are so annoying, that may be a solution. And I wonder: why all this piling on about people who have this particular problem anyway? If you can eat bread, be great full and not so judgemental.
sherry Rickard
I agree, I am also gluten free. I am so sorry that it’s a bother to serve those who have dietary issues. Maybe we should all eat at home? Along with our family’s who are not a problem. Then maybe your employers, could have more free table’s.
I guess, I don’t get what part of I, really don’t want to have a health issue any more than you don’t wanna wait on me you don’t get. I really hate spending my day or evening in the restaurants restroom because, the question I ask was miss understood. Or someone didn’t think a croton mattered. Yes, a damn croton. Sorry but to us that gluten really have a intolerance to, this is no laughing matter, it ruins my life and that of my family.
Not just the 3 mins it takes me to and skills for your menu, and to take my special order.
G
If youre not a server, why are you here. To come kn here and bitch about the stuff thst we vent about
Gluten is delicious
Because it’s not an allergy it’s a choice. Allergies are things that can kill you, not things that make your tummy hurt. It’s not hard for you to pick a couple things you are interested in and ask to confirm if they are truly “safe” for a glutard. The problem is it seems like every gluten free customer is allergic to reading and refuses to look at a menu. And if you’re truly that “sensitive” then don’t go out to eat!
PrairieCrone
Celiac disease is an auto-immune disorder in which the body fails to recognize “self” and attacks like it would any foreign substance. Other auto-immune disorders include the range of arthritic disorders, multiple sclerosis, and the like. In the case of celiac, the gut is absolutely unable to process gluten, which is a sticky protein found in wheat, barley, and rye. Consuming even minute quantities of gluten can set off a firestorm of symptoms, including intense intestinal cramps, bloating, nausea/vomiting, and severe diarrhea. Continuing to consume gluten can lead to life threatening diseases like Crohn’s, ulcerative colitis, and even cancer. For those with celiac, avoiding gluten is not a matter of choice. It may be a matter of life or death. Please educate yourself before shooting off your mouth. You might be shocked at what Karma could bring you.
Bellyache
You know what’s always gluten free on every restaurant menu? Not eating.
Education is Key
OK loser. Maybe you need to stop eating and stop existing. Where’s your humanity? Try reading this and maybe your little pea brain can understand what we Celiac Disease suffers go through.
https://celiac.org/celiac-disease/understanding-celiac-disease-2/what-is-celiac-disease/
Lisa
You clearly are a worthless empty shell loser. Get yourself educated it is an allergy fucktard!
Education is Key
“glutard”, seriously how old are you? You need to get a clue so that your retarded knowledge of Gluten-free and Celiac Disease is finally straightened out. Here a site for you to educate your pea brain on the very really problem, Celiac Disease! You see that last word, DISEASE?
Medical Dictionary
disease
noun dis·ease \diz-ˈēz\
Medical Definition of disease
: an impairment of the normal state of the living animal or plant body or one of its parts that interrupts or modifies the performance of the vital functions, is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms, and is a response to environmental factors (as malnutrition, industrial hazards, or climate), to specific infective agents (as worms, bacteria, or viruses), to inherent defects of the organism (as genetic anomalies), or to combinations of these factors : sickness, illness—called also morbus; compare health 1
diseased \-ˈēzd\play adjective
DISEASE Defined for English Language Learners
disease
noun dis·ease \di-ˈzēz\
Definition of disease for English Language Learners
: an illness that affects a person, animal, or plant : a condition that prevents the body or mind from working normally
: a problem that a person, group, organization, or society has and cannot stop
Hopefully you’re smart enough to read and learn.
Education is Key
Here’s the link to your education…
https://celiac.org/celiac-disease/understanding-celiac-disease-2/what-is-celiac-disease/
Angie
Lol….someone else uses ‘glutard’ !! I’m not alone!!
Cara
Glutard? You are an imbecile
Tami M.
Um… no, allergies don’t have to kill you to be bad for you. There are many allergies that just make you very, very sick. But I guess people who have allergies that won’t kill them should just say, what the hell, let’s live a little, and get hives, or throw up, or cramps, or swelling, or any of the many reactions a person can have when they encounter an allergen? No, not all gluten-free customers are allergic or have a medical condition that makes it impossible for them to process gluten, but a lot of them are.
Sally Catherine ruth Jameson
Why stare on menus vegetarian options ,which is a life style and not gluten,dairy, or nut ingredients, which is harmful to many people, don’t you realise as a Coeliac it is very boring to only have jacket potato on salad ,which I can do at home with no trouble, if I’m out and paying for a meal I would like to have something I don’t have at home, as has been said if they used corn flour for thickeners they would be gluten free. If owners and waitresses don’t won’t to do their job I suggest they are in the wrong profession
Sophia Mullen
Amen. This article hit a nerve for me. Obviously we know what we can and cannot eat, but food and how it’s prepared is far more complicated than allergy free people realize. I’m scared to go to restaurants partly because of staff who may not believe my allergy is that serious and serve me the wrong thing out of spite. At Thanksgiving my cousins were throwing bread at me and making fun of me. They don’t get it. Screw you ‘bitchy waiter’. And screw your tip cause you aren’t getting one from me.
True Cooks
This isn’t attacking people with a disease, disorder, or intolerance. It is attacking the people who don’t read the menu and say, “I’m gluten-free, what can I eat?” to the server. I question whether or not you have the reading comprehension skills it takes to understand what the author is bitching about.
When the guest does this, the server comes to me with a list of what a person cannot have while we are working hard and I need to stop what I am doing to help one person. Not all chefs sit in an office or carry a clipboard around all day.
As a chef, I will always make an effort to accommodate people with just about any need. Obviously I am not going to braise a whole pork butt without onion or garlic because someone called in a day before and asked if there were such ingredients in the cooking process, but I may have another protein that I can have ready. Try calling ahead a day or two, you would be surprised at what chefs will do for you.
I have avoided a lot by making server cheat sheets that lists if the plate has one of the big 8 allergens: milk, eggs, fish, shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat, soy. Recipe books are always available as well as a reference sheet where all ingredients are listed.
Philip Jackson
Thank you Chef!
Tami M.
I know people who don’t have health issues and will ask the waiter lots of questions about the menu that could easily be solved by just reading it, so it’s not just a problem caused by gluten-free people. They act as if the waiter has plenty of time to just sit and talk to them, when in fact they probably have 6-10 tables they might be serving. Asking the waiter questions is great – my son has a peanut allergy so we always ask the waiter a few questions – but only after we have read the menu. And before that, because he does have allergies, we have probably called or looked online to see how many meals include peanuts to try to figure out if it would even be possible to avoid cross contamination.
Lisa
Thank you for saying this!! I cannot believe how they make us sound. I prefer to eat everything but unfortunately I cannot. I did not choose this allergy path nor did many others. It is our job to be cautious of what we eat but the restaurants job to know what’s in the food. So I am a pain because I want to eat out once in awhile? I wouldn’t eat at this restaurant because of this article.
Church
Because most people treat it like a fad, like the food pyramid, and alternatively, the zero carb diet. If you have a gluten allergy, rest assured that your server in most establishments will bend over backwards to make sure that you are accomodated. However, I myself, being in the restaurant service industry for more than a decade, find that all too often most people claiming this allergy are simply fanatics, who used to stuff to much bread and beer in their faces and couldn’t figure out why they felt like shit. A little work on both sides of the spectrum is always appreciated, and that’s all this article is about.
Nancy Parish
I am also extremely sensitive to gluten, and I become very ill if I accidently ingest it. I know what I can eat and consider it my responsibility to make menu selections. My pet peeve is soups, flour is almost always used as a thickener. Corn starch works well, and it’s gluten free.
SannDee (yes thats really how it's spelled) Webb
This is great! People with allergies and sesitivities can really be difficult sometimes. Like the woman I waited on last week that couldn’t have the pickled onions on her pulled pork sandwich because “I’m HIGHLY allergic to onions.” The fact that the sandwich is served in an onion roll was perfectly fine though.
Listen lady. Don’t say you’re allergic when you really mean you just don’t like something. It makes light of those that do have a legitimate problem.
Thanks for another great post Bitchy!
Anthony
I work at pizza hut. We put garlic butter on our hand tossed pizzas. We once had a customer complain that she is highly allergic to garlic and can’t have the garlic butter on the crust. The pizza was remade, but if I could have made the decision whether to remake it or not, I wouldn’t have. Highly allergic to the garlic on the crust, but not allergic to the garlic in the sauce or pepperoni.
Alan
Ah, I see what you did there! The “article” is a link to Amazon with your book available for purchase. Just bought it recently! Good stuff!
I’d like to see a link to this entry posted on some gluten-free forum or FB page! That’d be a riot!
Renee
Love her & I agree. I have dieatary restrictions myself & like her I’ve educated myself. There is nothing worse than jumping all those hoops & having someone eat ?