College Student Too Broke To Tip

14694752_10207527737140248_2025290532_nDear Poor, Broke College Student,

I know that tuition is expensive and so are books. I know that it can be hard to scrape together enough money to be able to afford a semester in college and still have enough money for other necessary things like rent, groceries, your phone bill and all that beer that you drink. I feel for you, I really do. But of you go out to eat at a restaurant, you need to make sure you have enough money to be able to pay your bill and tip your freaking waitress. Deducting $5.00 from your check and writing “sorry college” does not excuse you from the basic requirements of dining out.

Next time you register for classes, maybe you should skip signing up for a botany class because you think it will be an easy science credit. Don’t bother taking a theater class to fill your arts requirements. Delve deep into that course catalog and find this class:

Economics: Introductory Course

ECO 10000
GER 2/B

Basic restaurant concepts and thought; issues and policy. How to treat your server, how to tip and how to be a decent fucking human being. Recommended as a first course for students with no prior courses in economics and have no idea what it’s like to wait tables.
Not open to students who have taken or are currently enrolled in ECO 20000 or 20100 or their equivalents. Also not open to students who have waited tables before, because they probably already fucking get that you tip your goddamn server, asshole.
3 hrs3 cr.

Did you stop to think that maybe your waitress was also in college and planned on using the tip that she deserved to pay for the same things that you need your money for? And if she wasn’t in college, maybe she was planning to use that money to, you know, pay for life. No one wants to go to work for free. If the service was bad, then absolutely, your server does not deserve a 20% tip. But just because your broke ass already blew through this month’s allowance from Mommy and Daddy is no reason that the server should have to suffer. And deducting part of the bill is equivalent to stealing. I think if the police were called, it would be considered “theft of services” and you would have found that five extra dollars right quick.

People, if you can’t afford to tip, then you can’t afford to eat out. The bill was almost $80. That does not imply that you are struggling to get by by with Top Ramen and Pop-Tarts. That tells us that you went to a restaurant with $75 in your wallet and spent every last cent of it. The next time you want to go out to eat, skip the fucking appetizer or second cocktail and give that money to the person who is doing their job to make your dining experience a good one.

Mustard and Mayo,
The Bitchy Waiter

p.s. I hope you actually see this blog post so you will know how many people think you’re a cheap asshole.

p.p.s. BUY MY BOOK.

Discussion

  1. Jon
    • The Bitchy Waiter
  2. Leslie Noorani
  3. Eat my ass
  4. Mike
  5. Julia
  6. stfu
  7. Marianne
  8. cDc
    • Jason
  9. Jeff Smith
    • dead_elvis
  10. Stef
  11. Joe
    • Erin
      • Joe
    • Eat a Dick, Joe
      • Joe
    • Laura
    • Spit in Joe's food
    • miss kitty
      • TinyOne
    • Mark W
    • DJ
  12. Bitchy Customer
    • dead_elvis
      • Allison
        • Jeff
    • George
  13. David Cowling
  14. SinCityKitty
  15. Leanne
    • Ebbykb
    • Martina

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