An unidentified woman at an unidentified Subway had a serious meltdown when she was unable to get her Meatball Marinara Sub. I mean, this woman melted more than the cheese does when they pop my 12” turkey club into that little mini oven thingy. Thankfully, someone had a cell phone and recorded the entire scene and even more blessedly, that person filmed it in horizontal mode. Will wonders never cease?
The video is long, but if you want to hear the best part, just skip to the 2:20 mark where she claims to hate being an asshole to the sandwich artist. For someone who doesn’t want to be a bitch, it turns out she’s really, really good at it.
“Get a fucking meatball sub! Get it!! Fucking get it!!”
She seems on the verge of tears and her throat sounds drier than her hair looks. I gotta give it up to Mr. Subway who remains calm through the whole scene. If I was behind that line, I would have reached over the glass, pulled her pants out of her ass crack, shoved her keys up her culo and told her to settle for a cold cut combo. I also notice that she appears to be holding rolls of coins. Classy. The woman screeches that she has been having this Meatball Marinara Mystery every time she comes in for the past six years. Ummm, if they never have what you want, why do you keep coming back? My suggestion to her is to walk out the door, turn right or left and look for another Subway. If it’s anything like New York City, there should be another one next door.
This video is traveling fast across the Internet so you know it’s only a matter of days before the woman comes out and explains her side of the story. Hopefully, before that happens, she takes a moment to do a deep hot oil conditioning treatment on her luscious locks and washes her dirty jeans which looks like they have had a rough couple of nights at the Greyhound bus station.
People, if you are going to freak the fuck out on a service worker in a public place, please know that someone is going to film it and the world will know about your behavior. Before you lose it and run the risk of being the next viral sensation, take a deep breath and really consider if it’s all worth it. It’s just a Meatball Marinara Sub. I get it, they are delicious. But sometime restaurants run out of food and all you can do is accept that fact and keep on living your life.