An Open Letter to the Meanest Person I Have Ever Had the Displeasure of Meeting

giving-the-fingerDear Renee Glicker,

I’m sure you don’t remember me, but unfortunately I remember you. Many years ago, when I was still auditioning and believing that one could make it on talent and talent alone, I was thrilled to get a response from your talent agency that you wanted me to come in for a meeting. After all, what struggling actor in New York City wouldn’t want to be represented by About Artists Agency? “This is my chance,” I thought. “This will be the door that will lead me to the right audition so I can finally be a working actor.”

I arrived at your office about five minutes earlier than my appointment was scheduled. As I sat in the waiting room, nervous about what I would say, I could hear you talking on the phone. As my appointment time came and went, I sat and waited patiently for my chance to meet you, a respected talent agent who could change my career path. Minutes ticked by and I waited. And waited. Finally, about fifteen or twenty minutes past my scheduled time, you yelled at me to come into your office.

There you were, holding my headshot and looking at my resume. You stared at my photo without ever looking up at the real me who was sitting across from your desk. Without looking away from my picture, you said, “Have you ever thought about getting your teeth done?”

I was shocked that this was the first thing you had to say to me and especially surprised that you still had not looked at my actual face.

“Well, I’d like to, but it’s so expensive. Maybe someday…” My voice trailed off with hurt.

My teeth have been my least favorite thing about myself my whole adult life. When I was a pre-teen, my dentist suggested to my parents that I get braces, but they couldn’t afford it. Thinking back now, I am embarrassed at how upset I was with them for not doing it. Like they could just go out to the Money Tree that grew in the backyard and pick off a few thousand dollars so it could happen. Renee Glicker, you had just opened a wound and then you got some salt, because you were not finished.

“Don’t get me wrong,” you said. “You’ll never be a Cary Grant but even the wacky next door neighbor still needs to be put together.” As you said those hurtful words, you motioned your hand around your face as if to indicate that my face was not put together enough to be an actor. It was then that you finally looked at me. I doubt that you saw the hurt in my eyes because anyone who is that careless with the emotions of others only sees what they want to see.

I tried to keep smiling even though now, every time I did it, all I could think of was how crooked my teeth were. I offered to do my monologue for you and then I gave you a video tape of me doing standup comedy. You took the VHS tape and tossed it onto a pile of crap that looked like it was one step away from the garbage can and told me you didn’t need to see my monologue. Our meeting ended, I shook your hand and left your office.

When I got onto the street, safely away from your prying eyes, I began to cry. There in midtown Manhattan, I stood on the sidewalk and bawled like a baby. I sobbed, not because I didn’t get an agent, but because my feelings were hurt. How could a grown woman with that much power in her hands be so reckless with her words?

Fast forward, about 15 years: I finally got braces. I didn’t get them because Renee Glicker of About Artists Agency told me I should. I did it because I wanted them and because I could afford them and because I knew they would make me happy. So, Renee Glicker, I want you to know that the next time someone comes into your office who is full of hope, ambition, excitement and drive, you should choose your words more carefully. The words you so easily toss about and then forget the second they leave your lips, can stick with a person for years to come. Yes, I finally “got my teeth done.”

Fuck you, Renee Glicker.

Sincerely,
Darron Cardosa

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35 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Meanest Person I Have Ever Had the Displeasure of Meeting

  1. miss kitty

    You have a great smile, before and after getting your teeth straightened. The warmth in your eyes has always shone through.

    Reply
  2. ShineOnYouCrazyDiamond

    I have a similar story. When I was 13 (THIRTEEN, for god’s sake), I was invited to a go see with Wilhelmina to meet Trudi Tapscott. She told me the exact same thing. Kept me waiting just to tell me my teeth were too crooked for modeling. This was the era of Kate Moss and heroin chic, I might add. We couldn’t afford braces. I see now she’s a bloated old hag though, so…karma? Anyway, I understand where you’re coming from, Bitchy. I haven’t thought about that in years.

    Reply
    1. Margie

      I’ve had problems with my teeth most of my life, I had one longer in the front and I hated it! one day a little shit of a waiter that I worked with decided to tell me what horrible teeth I had, he was about 5’2″ tall with a Napolean complex! i told him “you know what? Teeth can be fixed, but you”re never gonna be tall! Then I btoke down and cried, to the point that I had to go home! The memory still makes me cry, (actually crying while I’m typing). I’ll never understand why people have to be such assholes! (I was a single mom of 4 at the time, so my dental work was totally out of the question!)

      Reply
      1. Susan

        You hit the nail on the head “why do people have to be such assholes”. I usually use the phrase “open mouth, insert foot”! Cheers!

        Reply
  3. April Rocco

    I am a career waitress with crooked teeth. It too has bothered me ,I made sure my son had braces,It was not financially, easy but I did it!

    Reply
  4. Phyllis

    You are FABULOUS, braces or no braces! I’ve heard many horror stories about Renee Glicker, I think it’s time she retires.

    Reply
  5. joe c

    Someone should also tell her that a Flash-only website in this day and age looks neglected and reeks of being a cheapskate.

    Reply
  6. Genessa

    Same experience with a talent agent except reversed. I was 15 and had braces. I was halfway through my rehearsed commercial when he told me to stop and said “What’s with the teeth?” I told him I had braces and he said he wouldn’t consider me until my teeth were fixed.

    That’s what braces do, sir!! They fix teeth!! Needless to say, I didn’t come back.

    Reply
  7. Kelly Griffin

    She wasn’t lucky enough to meet your wonderful and funny personality, her loss, our gain bitchy, your very inspiring to us in the restaurant business,, you have touched many and most of us with your charm, who needs a bitchy agent, when thousands upon thousands have you! I smile everyday I see your posts,, you truly are a wonderful spirit, to all of us ;’)

    Reply
  8. Miki Yamashita

    I am SO sorry you experienced this but I am glad you wrote about it. Actors are so often treated so poorly, and it’s very important that they know they are not alone. It’s amazing that we hold on to our dreams and our spirit when we face so much scrutiny and just plain rudeness every day. Bless!

    Reply
  9. CincyDrunk

    I feel you so much on this one. I have hideous teeth that I can’t afford to fix. I’m happy for you Bitchy! That is one fabulous smile!!

    Reply
  10. Steve

    Amazing how people who can’t normally DO what they’re supposedly representing people for are often raging assholes. The same sort of stuff exists on the writers’ side, too. And don’t get me started about that so-called web site her agency “maintains.” It looks like some sort of MySpace relic.

    Reply
  11. Crybaby waiter

    Did you find yourself a safe space?

    Next time put your trigger warnings on the back of your head shot.

    By the way – braces didn’t help your face. I still want to punch it.

    Reply
    1. dead_elvis

      @Crybaby Waiter: Your mother should have swallowed (or better yet, fucked someone else).

      Let me guess – you’re a Trump supporter, whose father abandoned his shitty, accidental family early on, and the best (possibly only) sex you’ve ever had was possibly non-consensual. Fortunately for your otherwise terribly unfortunate partner, you finished in less than a minute, so their involvement was – while completely unsatisfying and extremely sad – mercifully brief.

      Please don’t forget to kill yourself before you vote.

      Reply
          1. Reginald van der Slythe III

            Then you directed that comment to the wrong person, dickwad. You and the troll can both go fuck yourselves since no one else will ever do so.

  12. GeekGirl

    Unfortunately, acting is just as superficial and judgmental as modeling is. The criticism can be hurtful and down right mean. If you truly love it, maintain a great support group of friends and learn healthy ways to cope with rejection. Keep in mind they only know you as a headshot and some lines on a resume. They don’t know the true real you that makes friends want to be with you, or even strangers follow your blog rantings religiously. And much much more.

    Reply
  13. Ruby D

    I am really proud of you, bitchy! People never think about who they are hurting by being shallow asshats. I once heard a guy I was sitting next to at a bar tell his friend, “Let’s go somewhere else, this girl has crooked teeth.” Just like that bitch, he was so disgusted by something I had absolutely no control over. But now we do, and we did it.

    And I am so jealous that you already got them off! I got mine a month before you and I still have another year. It was comforting to know that on the other side of the country you were waiting tables with braces, too.

    Reply
  14. Wendy

    You’re a handsome dude.
    Seriously, fuck you, Renee Glicker with your stupid-ass name, I bet you’re a fat, ugly lard by now.

    Reply
  15. Kelley

    You look great!!! Yay! Congrats on that fab smile! And thanks for your inspiration. You are helping me work up the nerve to face my own dental issues.
    Thanks!

    Reply
  16. Nikki

    Love you and always have. You are a gorgeous man. Your new teeth are radiant. However, nothing comes close to that beautiful hair. Maybe old mean bitch Renee was envious of your blonde locks.

    Reply
  17. Stephanie

    Your husband is a lucky man!
    I ADORE your book!
    I’m SO JEALOUS that you’re in Savannah! That’s one of my for Sur places I want to go to next, but New Orleans keeps calling me back.
    Do they still call it “The Book” down there in Savannah?

    Sorry for the excess in punctuation.
    I had, starting around 13, some of the most insane orthodontic work around… I *just* snuck past the era of headgear, but the stuff in my mouth had, like pistons and… *Shudders*

    It wasn’t even just cosmetic; some of my teeth were actively forcing their way into others like little fucking bitches. I’ve seen the X-RAYS, it wasn’t just an upsell.
    You looked gorgeous before and yet still more noe

    Reply
    1. Stephanie

      Sorry for typos/autocorrects. My phone is on its last legs *cross fingers it holds out until free upgrade*

      Reply

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