People make mistakes. Some of those people who make mistakes work in restaurants. Therefore, sometimes restaurants make mistakes. Are we not allowed to be human beings who occasionally drop the ball? Customers should not expect that every restaurant worker is a robot or a perfectly-tuned machine that can give the exact same experience over and over again, yet that is what many customers do expect. And it’s not fair. A woman named Monica has been “insulted and hurt” by a pizza and it is my responsibility to explain to her why she needs to chill the fuck out.
Short story: she loved Marco’s Pizza, had been ordering there at least once a week for months, sang its praises to everyone she knew until one day it went less than perfect and now they are pretty much dead to her. Yes, after ordering her free pizza as part of a reward program, it was not up to her usual expectations and she wrote a bad review. When the restaurant offered to make it up to her with a free meal, she refused and will never, ever return!
Here is what I don’t get, Monica. If you truly ordered there at least once a week for a few months, that’s a lot of pizza. Let’s define “a few months” as five months and “at least once a week” as six times a month. That totals 30 pizzas that were all excellent. One time you order a pizza, and it arrives with “hardly any cheese and little sauce.” Because of one bad experience out of 30, you are ready to give them a 1-star review and and never go back? Why? And when they explicitly apologized and wanted to make up for their error, you will have none of it? Monica, don’t be a martyr. You’re not Joan of Arc from France being tried for heresy. You’re fucking Monica from Richmond, Virginia and you’re “insulted” by a not enough cheese on a freakin’ pizza. If you think Marco’s intentionally left cheese off the pizza and then let it get cold just to spite the fact that you were getting it for free, I think you’re wrong. That makes you sound like a conspiracy theorist who believes that NASA faked the moon landings, Elvis Presely is still alive and that Roswell, New Mexico should have a TGI Fridays. Restaurant owners are not out to get you and sabotage your one free pizza. What is much more likely is that an employee had an off night and made a mistake and it happened to affect you. I would think that after exceeding your expectations for so many months that you would be willing to accept the fact that accidents happen. Some people will look for any reason to give a shitty review.
Flash forward fifty years to Monica at a retirement home:
“2016 was such a trying time. Our country was divided as we tried to decide who our next president would be, racial tension was at an all-time high, extreme terrorism was a global issue and I once got a pizza that didn’t have enough cheese on it…”