Today’s guest post comes from Joey Rockenstein who wants to finally admit that he is a human being who makes mistakes. And by the way, all servers are human beings who are capable of making mistakes. Check out his blog, The Bitter Bistro and follow him on Twitter @thebitterbistro. -BW
I can finally admit to the serving world, that I, your server, am human.
I know it’s hard to believe. Considering how many birthdays, anniversaries, and whatever other dog celebrations I have managed to work without having anything go wrong. Or, at least, not with the customer knowing that anything went wrong. My identity as “Super Server” has managed to stay concealed under the guise of my apron, just like Superman wearing his glasses has fooled mankind for all of these years.
However, the other day, my identity as a human was finally revealed.
A couple was sitting out on the patio during my opening shift and immediately waved for my attention after they had been sat. I flew over to them, because whenever customers wave AT me, it a sure sign that they must be VERY important people, and that they should receive all of my attention. And when I say all of my attention, I mean enough to fill my brain with the details of their craziness so I can talk about them later to my co-workers in the side-station. The other part of my brain is thinking about how much of my soul I actually have left after 18 years of working in the service industry. I feel I have been sucked dry by this point, but apparently I had a little soul left because I was able learn their names, Heidi and Jim Jones, and I found myself at the bar making them some Bloody Marys. But not too spicy for Heidi, because she can’t handle spice. But Jim can. That’s why they’ve been married for 15 years.
I returned with the Bloody Marys and took their order. They both got burgers. Jim ordered his without cheese and fries, but substituted a salad. Heidi order her burger with cheese, but without tomatoes and onions. I smiled, asked how the drinks were, and flew away to put in their order.
Before the burgers arrived, I brought another round of drinks, and then I delivered the burgers. Heidi must do impressions for a living, because she was pecking and picking at her burger as if she was a bird. Jim ate somewhat normally. Okay, he looked like a Sea Lion, but that appeared to be more normal than Heidi. I checked on them and asked how everything was going.
“Everything is great!” Jim answered. Heidi said nothing. I assumed that Jim was answering for the both of them.
I returned again when Jim was almost finished with his burger. I refilled their waters, and asked if they wanted any more Bloodys. They said “no.” Heidi still had barely moved her burger on the plate. I asked her if she would like me to wrap it up to go. She shook her head. Keep in mind, that I work in Los Angeles. For all I know, Heidi had eaten her fill, and couldn’t possibly eat another bite. Pain is beauty. Jim asked for the check.
I brought the check, and they signed it to their hotel room. When I picked up the check, I discovered that Heidi had left me a little note on it. Why is it when people write their servers notes on the checks, that it looks like they are holding someone for ransom? (See attached pic.) Well, I had been the one holding something for ransom. I had forgotten to withhold the tomatoes and onions, and Heidi was so upset, that she could only express herself in written form. Yes, America, I am a server. And we sometimes make mistakes. Sorry, I shouldn’t reveal the identity of all servers, so I’ll just say that I made a mistake, and rang in their order incorrectly.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to fly over to another table and clean up the mess that a 5 year left, and I just got triple sat. I’ll just tie my apron a bit tighter for this shift.