A Comment on Comments; the “Your Job Is Easy” Edition

comment-cardAlmost a year ago, I wrote a blog post called “Watch Out, Someone Thinks My Job Isn’t Real.” It was a warmly written, heartfelt, feel good piece about how people who think waiting tables isn’t a real job can go fuck themselves with a rusty teaspoon that was used to keep Table 30 on the patio from wobbling. Well, one comment arrived a few days ago that needs some attention. Someone named Bob pulled an old piece of toilet paper out of his ass and read it like a fortune cookie:

Literally the easiest job on the planet, and the Biggest whiners ever. I worked as a server for 2 months before I found a better one when I was 17, and all I heard when the other servers were in the back was a bunch of bitch. About everything. 60% of what servers do is stand around.

Screen Shot 2016-06-18 at 7.56.29 AM

Oh, Bob, Dear, sweet, Bob who shits out fortune cookie blog post comments, what can I say? I can this: you’re an asshole. I don’t consider waiting tables “literally the easiest job on the planet.” I have had a lot of jobs in my life and I can say that being manager of Putt-Putt in Denver was easier than waiting tables. I would also suspect that reading old blog posts and then leaving poorly written comments can be considered easier too, but since you don’t get paid to do that, we can hardly call it a job, can we? Waiting tables is not as hard as working in a coal mine or harvesting cotton, of course, but it’s no walk in the park or sitting behind a counter and giving people coupons when they get a hole-in-one. Serving can be strenuous, exhausting work and many a time after a 12-hour shift, my body has ached to the point of needing a rub down of Icy Hot®.

Yes, servers may whine about their job, but everyone fucking whines about their job. I bet even the vice-president of Svedka whines every once in a while. It’s what people do to vent and make themselves be able to face their customers and co-workers. A bunch of co-workers complaining about something can practically be considered “team building.” And if you are going to complain about a website called “Bitchy Waiter” because there is a waiter bitching, then you need to move your mouse up to the top left corner of this computer window and click the fuck out of here.

So, you worked as a server for two whole months until you found a “better one.” A better what? A better job? Seeing that you were only 17 at the time, I would guess that your “better one” was working at Wal-Mart or some other retail job. Don’t try to pretend that at the ripe old age of 17, you filled out an application for vice-president of Svedka vodka and they hired you. (Seriously, that’s my dream job.)

As for standing around 60% of the time, your numbers are off. We stand around 100% of the time, because we are not allowed to sit down. And if you are implying that we are only working 40% of the time we are at work, you’re wrong about that too. When I am the only server with no busser or food runner and I have a full restaurant, I wish I could work only 40% of the time, but I can’t. My job is to make sure people have a great dining experience and that involves me taking their order, conveying it to the kitchen, bringing the food, clearing their plates, resetting that table, all the while, keeping glasses full, my sidestand stocked, the restaurant clean and a goddam smile on my face 100% of the time.

Why don’t you go find a bag of dicks and choke on about 60% of them? Thank you for your comment.

20 thoughts on “A Comment on Comments; the “Your Job Is Easy” Edition

  1. Mia

    You are absolutely the best!!! I’ve been a server for almost my entire adult life and the ass hat who only worked 2 months as a server probably found a different job because seving is hard work. He most likely could not handle it and would have gotten fired. There is very little time to stand around when you have 8 tables of needy guests to tend to. There is ALWAYS someone that has to have extra ranch or napkins or someone that wants yo monopolize your time telling a freaking story when you have 3 other people signaling they require personal assistance.

  2. Ana

    He found a better job? A more fitting job probably. To be a good server you need balls to take all the fuckery rude and needy people put you through, to know how to handle situations, and to take all the challenges and hard work that being a server implies. 2 months is all weak people can take.

  3. Robin

    Standing around in the kitchen bitching about the guests is what keeps us from stabbing said guests with a steak knife!
    We bitch to save lives.

  4. Barb Chandler

    I don’t think picking cotton would be harder. All those videos I’ve seen from the 30s with the negroes out in the field, they’re singing happy and I don’t think they minded picking cotton in exchange for a place to live and a charge account down at the general store. It’s the next generation, their kids, the post-war generation of negro that would rather rob and do drugs that have you believe picking cotton was hard work.

  5. lisa

    Hi Bitchy
    Love you. You say what a lot of us think and want to say. After being in F & B, 41 years. Working everything from hostess to GM. Your my hero. So many times in agreement with you but cant say it.
    A “real” job, we all know that service industry is a hard job. So it’s very real. But most importantly I love my job.

  6. Mel

    You Barb Chandler, are an asswipe.
    Yet another brilliant piece of blogging that’s brought down by unecessary racism.
    I do hope Bitchy Waiter bans both yourself and your comment. Buh bye.

    1. Barb Chandler

      By god bitch, you gotta have a swine to show you where the truffles are. What would people like you do if people like me didn’t call a spade a spade?

      1. Sara

        Barb, you are a racist piece of shit. I would love for you to come eat at my bar. You will be force fed my fist as an appetizer and your words as an entree. Since your words are so vile, it’ll be my pleasure to watch you choke on them and die.

  7. G. B. Miller

    Perhaps he found a better job being a Wal Mart greeter and inspecting bags. If anything, waitstaff bust their collective asses every day (this observation is made as a occasional dining patron) to do a good job.

  8. lisa

    Love you, Bitchy! It is high school graduation week here, and after working two doubles in a row I am BATHING in Icy Hot! So, maybe our job is not as difficult as some–but EASY? This guy, Bob, must have worked in a restaurant that was not busy and probably closed down. We are on our feet carrying heavy trays, handling HOT plates, navigating around small children, spending much time in a HOT kitchen– all the while with smiles on our faces! We all know the truth about how difficult our job can be….screw you, Bob!

  9. Rump Roast

    So, essentially, Bob could hack it for just two months because he was only giving 40% effort and his coworkers couldn’t stand his sanctimonious ass.

  10. Tracy m

    I have found serving to be a very intense job. But, when I go home, I’m done. Unlike so many other jobs you have to take home with you. Except for the dreams man.

  11. Shannon

    I managed the birthdays section of the group events at a putt putt (plus rides and stuff) for 3 years and thanks to corporate having a money laundering asshole for a CEO I couldn’t schedule enough bday hosts, ended up managing and hosting/serving/cooking pizza and hot dogs for the kids for 2 years.

    Those were the most exhausting 10 hour days of my life. Still the funnest work environment thanks to the people – which goes a long ass way. Just goes to show that hard work doesn’t have to destroy your soul.

    What little point I have is that service is hard fucking work and assholes like this guy (who probably was a really shitty server if he only worked 40% of the time) need to realize their experience at 17 isn’t realistic and keep their mouths shut.

  12. isarar ansari

    📢📢 *Job Job Job Job Job* 📢📢

    💰अब RS 300 -2500/Daily कमायें💰

    🌏 Online Mobile Business
    🏡 Work From
    ✅ 100% Legal Business
    🏧 100% Pure Income
    📱 Work on FB & WhatsApp only
    ⏰ Work only 60 Minutes in a Day
    🏦 Instant Withdrawal in Your Account
    👉🏿 For This Business You Need Only📱Smartphone & 🌏 Net

    आइये Digital India से जुड़िये…..
    और घर बैठे लाखों कमाये…….
    और दूसरे को भी कमाने का मौका दीजिए…
    आईये बेरोजगारी को भारत से उखाड़ फैंकने मे हमारी मदद कीजिये….
    बस आप इस whatsApp no.
    8936809407 पर ” *JOB* ” लिख कर send कीजिए

    जय हिन्द..🇮🇳

  13. Marcy

    Bob, would you DARE to tell a cop or a doctor that they shouldn’t bitch about THEIR jobs ???

    No you WOULDN’T, because you consider those REAL jobs and above reproach. But you’ll happily tell the worker ants they have no rights to bitch about their jobs.

    In short, BOB, you are an elitist PIG !!!!!

  14. Leah

    In my experience, the people who think that serving is easy, are also the people who suck at it the most. They think it’s simple because they’re not doing half the shit they’re supposed to be doing. So good riddance to Bob, because he was probably a terrible server anyway.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *