A waitress at a Wilmington, North Carolina restaurant has been accused of adding her own tip and then forging a signature on a credit card receipt. Not good, people. Not good at all. This week, Gerald Lester and his wife Chloe Jordan strapped on their feeding bags and headed over to Blue Asia restaurant to inhale some buffet. When Gerald paid for his $67 meal with a credit card, he intentionally left the tip line blank because he planned on leaving a cash tip. At this point, his wife and mother-in-law said, “I don’t think she deserves a tip, we don’t need to give her a tip, take it back.” Gerald, being the agreeable husband that he has been strong-armed to become, suddenly decided the service was bad and put the tip back into his pocket. No word on what that tip was going to be, but my guess it was a crisp five dollar bill.
The next morning, Gerald “felt like something was fishy about it, like she was going to do something-she just gave me that vibe.” He also said that as he left the restaurant the night before, something didn’t sit right with him. So he checked his bank statement and saw that the payment had been finalized at $80 meaning someone had added a $13 tip. Gerald apparently has a sixth sense about these things since he basically knew something was going to happen before it had even happened. Call Dionne Warwick, because we just found a her a new Psychic Friend. Either that or he knew they had done something that a pissed off waitress may feel warrants retaliation, like, I dunno, had perfectly fine service and then stiffed the waitress anyway. He and his wife did a power walk back to the restaurant where they asked to see the receipt and declared it was a forgery! The owner of the restaurant said that something like this has never happened before and the police were called.
But here’s where it starts to smell even more fishy, and I’m not talking about the day old sushi that was at the far end of the buffet table. Why wasn’t the waitress arrested? If she did in fact add a tip and then sign a credit card receipt, that’s a major no-no. Did Gerald and Chloe decide to not press charges and simply be satisfied with their two minutes of fame on the local news? Did Gerald actually leave a $13 tip but when his wife found out that he tipped a waitress he created this whole story to cover up the fact that he did the right thing? (I have never seen a finalized payment in my bank account the next morning after I eat out. It’s usually pending for a day or so.) Did he think his souvenir t-shirt from the Bahamas was the best thing to wear for his television debut? And how did this story make it to the news anyway?
The couple said that because of this experience, they will not be eating out for a while. This is joyous news to all the servers in Wilmington who know now that they don’t tip. But back to the waitress: If you get stiffed, for whatever reason, you cannot take matters into your own hands and add your own gratuity. You have to suck it up in much the same way that Gerald and Chloe sucked up four bowls of egg drop soup, three orders of crab rangoon, two dumplings and a gallon of Diet Coke. Do not commit credit card fraud for a tip, it is not worth it. Two wrongs do not make a right and it’s only going to get you into hot water.
And speaking of hot water, in the video the couple is shown boiling a crab. But, there is not enough water in the pot to to do it correctly and the water is not boiling. That crab is in there dying a slow death because they didn’t Google how to boil a fucking crab. You drop the crab directly into boiling water so it dies immediately. You don’t let it toss and turn in four inches of lukewarm water. They boil crabs just as poorly as they tip. Figure that shit out.