Australian Comedian Insults Service Workers and I Don’t Stand For That

Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 12.08.11 PMSomewhere on the other side of the world in a land called Melbourne, Australia, there is a comedian who sees absolutely no problem with being a rude areshole to people in the service industry. While he was trying to be funny on the Down Under Version of the Today show, Merrick Watts (find him here on Twitter) discussed Melbourne cafes that have instituted a new policy of banning customers who are talking on their cell phones when they are ordering their fancy caffe lattes. Personally, I think it’s sad that a rule had to be made because it should just be common sense that when you are engaging with one person you don’t continue gabbing on your cell phone. Merrick Watts does not agree. He feels that it is perfectly fine to disregard the necessity for manners and that people in the service industry do not deserve the same respect we give to customers. “Baristas have got to get a handle on themselves,” he says, completely ignoring the fact that baristas are probably saying the same thing about that smug fucking smirk that crawls across his face every time he says something he thinks is funny. He goes on to say that since he is paying for it, that they should give it to him and get over the hipster attitude with “your beard and all your weird mermaid tattoos. Just make me the coffee.” Doesn’t he sound charming?

His cohort/sidekick/whoever the fuck agrees saying that baristas and mixologists are “getting a little ahead of ourselves” and that if she is talking on the phone while ordering she’s not being “really” rude. I guess, she thinks it’s okay to be a little bit rude though. Then Merrick throws in one more comment to make sure he gets the full ire of service workers: “You’re not doing real work.”

Alright, Merrick Watts, here’s the deal: how pissed off would you be if your barista was on the phone when you were trying to place your order? I’m not talking about their personal cell phone either, I’m talking about them picking up the business phone to answer some quick questions about their location or hours. You would be furious that the counter worker is not giving you their full and undivided attention. Well, in Australia, they may drive on the left side of the road, but it’s still a two way fucking street and if you expect the baristas to not talk on the phone when they are taking your order then they expect you to not talk on the phone when you ask for your goddamn half regular, half decaf, soy latte with whipped cream and a light dusting of organic fucking cinnamon.

Although Merrick was making these comments on the fly and aiming for cheap laughs, his attitude is indicative of many customers around the world who think people in the service industry are undeserving of respect. Derrick, kindly keep your vegemite-loving, koala-humping, Foster-drinking, shrimp on the barbie ass over there in the land down under and if you ever sit it to my section, I hope I can find a dingo that will eat the holier-than-thou grin right off your pompous face. (Yes, I totally Googled “Australian stereotypes.”)

Bottom line: don’t talk on the phone when someone is trying to take your order. Give them the attention you would expect them to give you. Don’t be a rude asshole like Merrick Watts.

Discussion

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