If 2016 is the year that restaurants are going to epically reply to the online reviews of their customers, I give a warm welcome to this fine, fine year. Once again, a dissatisfied customer logged onto their online account and complained about how unjustified they felt their service was. And once again, the restaurant was fresh out of fucks and let the customer have it.
In the merry old land of England at a restaurant called Bennett’s Cafe and Bistro (here is their Facebook page. Tell them I said hello!), a woman named Hannah C. went in to have a spot of tea (minus the tea bag, because she was trying to save a few quid, or whatever…) Much to her surprise, she was still charged £2 which is the equivalent of about $2.87. That did not sit well with our wanna be Mary Poppins who went right to TripAdvisor and typed out her one-star review:
“This place is absolutely dreadful. I went out for afternoon tea with some friends and I was on a tight budget. I ordered hot water and a slice of lemon which, firstly, did not arrive on time with all my friends cake and drinks. I was then charged £2 for the hot water and a thin slice of lemon. When I asked why I was being charged so much for some water the waiter rudely said, ‘well, do you know how much a lemon costs?’ Yes, it’s definitely not £2. He then went on to wrongly inform me that a ‘pot of tea for one’ (which is what I was charged for) is the same price as a lemon. To show just how ridiculous this is, my friend ordered a slice of chocolate cake which was £1.90.”
Bitch, please. Your first mistake was agreeing to go out for tea when you didn’t have any money. Learn your limits, girl.
Not to be outdone, the waiter went right on to TripAdvisor as well and schooled Hanna C. on the cost of doing business. He very politely apologized that she felt “ripped off” and then took off the figurative gloves and slapped her face with them. After Hanna C. saw the response and the story was picked up by a couple of websites, she took the review down and crawled back to her flat with her tail between her legs. However, can we all give a shoutout to screenshots and the miracle that is Command + Shift + 4 because we still get to see what went down!
The waiter did not hold back but my favorite line is his last one where he says, “ Perhaps, the rudeness that you perceived in me was triggered by the disrespect that I perceived in you by your presumption that you could use our facilities and be waited on for free.” Boom. Mic drop. And that, my friends, is how they do it in the United Kingdom.
By the way, my book comes out on April 5 and I would kinda love it if you clicked here and preordered it. It’s only £6.67. ($9.57).