When a customer orders a cocktail and says something like “can you put less ice in my drink?” they think that is code for “can you put more liquor in my drink?” Here is what it actually means: we are going to put less ice in your drink and you’re still going to get the same amount of liquor. Most restaurants have a preset limit as to how much liquor goes into a drink and the amount isn’t going to change just because the customer asked for a little extra. If you want more alcohol, you need to order a double and pay for it. It happens way too often: a customer gives me a wink of the eye or a sly point of the finger thinking that’s all it will take for me to give them free booze. Not gonna happen so deal with it. If you want to drink a lot of alcohol without spending a lot of money, you need to drive your ass to the liquor store, sit on your couch and drink from the bottle.
Here are some things customers say that think they will get free extra liquor and followed by that is what it will actually get them:
- “Make it a little stronger.” (It will be made the exact same way it always is.)
- “I couldn’t taste the liquor in my frozen daiquiri last time.” (We will leave the liquor out completely and instead pour it all into the straw so that your first sip is 100% rum.)
- “Can you put a little less cranberry juice this time?” (We will put less cranberry juice this time and your glass will no longer be full.)
- “The other bartender poured heavier.” (We will ignore this comment.)
- “I come in here all the time.” (We will ignore this comment as well because anyone who has to remind us that they come in all the time is probably annoying as fuck.)
- “I’m a big guy, so I need a little bit more Jack Daniels.” (You will get the same amount of liquor as always but we won’t offer you a dessert menu.)
- “I’ll leave a big tip if you put extra liquor in my drink.” (We won’t believe you because any time someone brags about leaving a big tip, they don’t do it. It’s sorta like the guy who is always saying he has a huge penis when it’s probably the size of a baby carrot.)
Atlian
Someone asked me for light ice on one of our menu cocktails. We measure out all of them. So the glass literally looked half full. He said, „damn I didn’t mean for you to short me on my drink!“. Sir. Please head back into the cave from whence you came.
Steve The Awesome
When someone claims that a coworker does something against the rules for them, I ask them if they want to come back when that person is working then. Side note: Checking with said coworker you always learn they tried to tell them I do the wrong thing so wjy don’t they?
77344shell
If someone tells me they want it strong, I will first ask them if they want a double, if they say no, I will pour it in a smaller glass.
Mark
I remember a chef telling me a customer told her “I’m on the Atkins Diet, so can I have more steak and less potato?”
ECfromDC
Depending on the drink i’ll just ask for it ‘up’/chilled.
Noel
Right, and you usually pay $2-$4 more for an “up” drink. It’s only one more ounce.
MANGLER
If I’m in the (rare) mood to sip and not plow through drinks, I’ll generally order whatever “no ice please, and it’s fine if you put it in the shot glass”. But I’m sure most of the general public would be shocked to see how little room 1.5 oz of liquor takes up in their ice filled glasses.
Chris Chandler
The first step is to drink at home and rarely buy alcohol at a restaurant. The bartenders usually don’t know the first thing about mixology and everything is often filthy. If you do drink, do it where you are a regular and have a history with the staff. You will find longer pours, drinks that don’t show up on the bill, they’ll receive your mixing directions more warmly, etc.
lynn
not!!!!
Dbeanz
What???? Are you not following? Bartenders do not own booze, restaurant owners do. We are not thieves!
BeeyooteefullBetty
I’m, we keep that shit clean. If we didn’t, fruit flies would literally be all over everything.
outhousecat
People are so stupid. If you want to get plowed, do what we did when I was 17 and down a bottle before you go in so you 1) don’t have to pay as much to stay wasted but mostly 2) quit acting like you’re still 17 when you’re in public. Your old drunk ass isn’t going to impress anybody.
Anonymous
I love this!! They were really bad about this at the last restaurant I worked at (where the margaritas are admittedly phenomenal). Soooo many people ordering margaritas on the rocks without ice. Soooo many disappointed faces when I brought them their lukewarm, half-filled glass of margarita on the not-rocks.
Mj
Maybe some of them meant straight up?
dogchow
Love your blog. Keep up the good work. I learned in Las Vegas to ask for a ‘long pour.’ I don’t think I was ever charged more. But then again, I was drunk from the time I got off the plane to the moment I went back through my own front door. I realize most restaurants or bars don’t have the same million dollar budget Vegas does. People should be willing to pay more for a stronger Adult Beverage.
Noel
A long pour doesn’t mean shit either- ur getting the same amount of booze no matter what, unless our order a double. AND corporate places in Vegas have been more rules and regulations on their employees- but it’s a cute idea.