How I Feel About Making Hot Chocolate

waitress-dinerThe first day of autumn is still several days away, and already people are asking for hot chocolate. Stop it. It seems like only yesterday that I was constantly running out of iced coffee, but suddenly the temperature drops about one fucking degree and everybody is acting like they need three scarves, a sweater and a fireplace. Chill out with the hot drinks, people. Besides, the hot chocolate isn’t even good. You know it’s just some nasty ass powder from an envelope that gets poured into some hot water, right? The only time there is milk in it is when I make it for myself and I use the cappuccino machine to steam some delicious frothiness into it. If it’s for a customer, it’s all water. When I make it for myself, I add some chocolate syrup and then I go to the dessert station for some whipped cream. When I make it for customers, there is no such thing as whipped cream for you. We will be out of it, trust me. You will get chocolate powder dumped into a mug with some water and if you’re lucky, I will stir it for you. Hopefully, you will think it’s disgusting and never order such foolishness again.

Why don’t you wait until it’s actually cold outside before you start asking for hot chocolate, alright? It’s too early in the season for me to be making your damn hot chocolates. I don’t have time to deal with that shit just so I can add $2 to the check. If you leave me 20% of that $2, it’s forty cents and I’d rather go without forty cents than go through the trouble of making another fucking hot chocolate.

Okay, I just had to get that off my chest.

12 thoughts on “How I Feel About Making Hot Chocolate

  1. Roscoe

    I get it. I’ll stay home, will order nothing, and will encourage everyone else to do the same. Then maybe you can stay home and won’t have a job to do.

    Reply
  2. Robbie

    Wow, relax people, this blog is for service workers not patrons who have never been servers, therefore it’s mostly for humor although he’s often spot on with some of the most rediculous requests & how off the wall some (not all) customers can be. It’s all in fun (& helps us fellow servers know we’re not alone in many of our frustrations so if your just a patron &/or can’t take a joke you should stop reading the posts on this site! I personally love it & find it hilariously accurate:) Keep up the great entertaining (& very true) writing!

    Reply
  3. lisa

    roscoe was the name of the dog on dukes of hazard. slumslut, that was brilliant! in san francisco, the temperature drops almost immediately at 6pm. Iced tea no longer gets ordered, and people want to crowd my station, driven to the firepit like moths to light. They congregate mostly to warm up after an alcatraz tour, (rarely order food), watch the game, and cause a clusterfuck. I hate the one person who orders a goddamn hot chocolate because as everyone else sees me deliver the powdered hot water beverage, they think to themselves, “oh that looks great, i’ll order one too.” but do you think that when i ask everyone if they would like anything, they would inform me of this so i can make the h.c.’s all at once and pay attention to my dining customers? Hell no! They order them one by one by one, pay seperately with either credit cards or one hundred dollar bills, and then stiff me due to the lack of free refills! Ugh! Drives me bananas! Oh, and just because theres a fire pit, doesnt make it a campsite for people to post up for all eternity! Sorry, i had to get that off my chest too….

    Reply
    1. MANGLER

      What kind of hot teas do you have?
      Beats me. I’ll bring the box over and we can see if anyone bothered to refill it or if there’s just going to be 42 Earl Greys.

      Reply
  4. Phatdaddy

    Usually, I just day we’re out, but if I do make it, I just pour in a little water, dunp in the mix, no storing and cover it with whipped cream. Have a nice hot mug of go fuck yourself.

    Reply
  5. Ray

    My favorite is when it’s as hot as a desert in hell and people order this shit. Wtf is wrong with you people!! I literally just dripped forehead sweat into the mug and in addition to your scalding hot beverage, you’d like the AC turned down. Yeah, I’m right on top of that.

    Reply

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