A Comment on Comments; the “You’re a Racist” Edition

A Comment on Comments

A Comment on Comments

Last week on the Bitchy Waiter Facebook page, I posted a photo that stirred up some controversy and gave reason for people to accuse me of being racist. I am the first person to admit my own faults: I’m egocentric, my attention span is shorter than a Munchkin who’s doing the limbo, my attitude is piss-poor, my teeth are all jacked up, my hair looks like a Brillo pad… I could go on, but one thing I am not, is a racist.

The photo I posted was that of a group of people at a restaurant, one of whom is waving at the camera. I added a snarky comment about how people who wave their arms and yell at their server will not get the desired effect of having their server move to them more quickly. In fact, most servers will pull out the passive-aggressive card and make that table wait a little bit longer. The photo I used happen to feature four people of Asian descent. Well, many commenters jumped to the conclusion that I was insinuating that this is an “Asian thing” and that I am racist. Lemme tell you something: fuck that. When I do a Google image search looking for photos to turn into memes, I don’t search for Asian people or black people or anything else. I usually go to the search bar and type in “people in restaurant” or “vintage waiter” or “smiling waitress” and when I see a photo that I think I can use, I save it in a folder called BW Images. Bottom line.

Such drama...

Such drama…

After the photo was posted, I went on with my day and it wasn’t until a couple of hours later that I saw it had become a racial issue. I added a comment saying that the image had nothing to do with race and it only stirred up more controversy.

Bryan said: This image has nothing to do with race? Cus every server knows only asians pull that shit. Youre a giant hypocrite if you post a picture like this and then try to act all politically correct when someone mentions the word “chinese”. Seriously, man, Im disappointed in you. If race isnt an issue, why are they ALL asian-looking in the picture?

I’ll tell you, Bryan, the reason they were all Asian was because that was the photo that came up when I Google searched. You can either believe me or not, but their race had nothing to do with the caption and it never even occurred to me that so many idiots would think it did. If you are comfortable saying that “only Asians pull that shit,” then I think you need to look into a mirror and call yourself a hypocrite. Rude behavior is not limited to one group of people and if you think that only Asians can be rude, then you must have some kind of issue yourself that makes you seek out the negative traits of one group while ignoring those same traits in another. Are you telling me that you have never had a group of good ol’ red-blooded “white” Americans flag you down from across the restaurant? You’re lying. I’ve been a server for 25 years and I can honestly say that rudeness is spread out pretty evenly from culture to culture, race to race.

Joseph said: I’m not racist…but, Asians are the worst by far!!!!

Ummm, Joseph, you’re a racist.

Pam said: It’s funny the number of people that see “Asian” or “oriental.” All I see is a rude customer.

That’s all I saw when I used the picture as well. And honestly, we don’t even know if the girl in the photo is waving to her server. Most likely, she isn’t. I’m not going to go so far as to say something like, “I don’t see race,” because that’s a lie. Of course we all notice when someone we are speaking to is a different color than we are. We all see race. It’s a fact of life. But anyone who thought this photo was racist is basing that on their own experiences. Had this been a picture of four white people, no one would have said I was putting them down.

Joshua said: This page is run by a classless rookie or a menstrual woman. Male servers operate at a high standard of excellence…because we aren’t allowed to pms and bitch. No room for slippin’.

I don’t even know what to say to this asshole. I may be classless, but I’m not a rookie or a menstrual woman. How charming you must be to assume that only women have the potential to be emotional. You’re a real catch. If you want me to hook you up, send me your email address because I bet there are a lot of women who read that comment who would love to go on a date with you so you can order their food for them.

Rochelle: Probably wouldn’t need to do this if their server was paying attention to them.
Tyrin said: Maybe you should do your damn job and we wouldn’t have to wave cunt.

Yes, ladies, I get what you’re saying. This photo is referring to those customers that will say they don’t need anything and that everything is fine and then the second the server walks two feet away from the table, they start to wave their arms because they suddenly need another refill. Most people who work in a restaurant will get what I’m talking about here. And by the way, Tyrin? You need a comma between wave and cunt. Otherwise, people might think a “wave cunt” is some new kind of dance fad that involves raising and lowering your vagina at certain intervals. Also, since I’m a guy and not a woman, kindly refer to me as “munt.”

Thanks for the comments and thank you to all of you who defended me. I stand behind the photo as one that demonstrates the rude behavior of restaurant guests. If you choose to think it had something to do with the race of the people in the picture, that’s your issue, not mine.

15 thoughts on “A Comment on Comments; the “You’re a Racist” Edition

  1. Stephanie

    I like how the people whining that the photo is racist, are the ones who took the time to point out that all of them are Asian. Lol I didn’t even notice that until I read this post. I just noticed a rude ass customer waving.

  2. Granny

    Wow. People can sure be BSC at times, can’t they? Honestly, I hadn’t paid attention to the race until it was just pointed out–because all kinds of folks do this and I just nodded “mmm hmm-that is sooooo true!” and went on with my day. Really, this behavior is not an Asian thing, or a Black thing, or a White thing — it is a RUDE thing– cause it usually happens when you are at another table, taking some one’s order when the RUDE table begins calling out “We want to order now!” or worse yet, and ruder still, “Miss! MISS! MISS!!!” SRSLY, unless you are personally on fire you do not need to interrupt when it is someone else’s turn, people. This is not kindergarten: be polite and wait your turn. As to the “comments” you have received about being racist, well Haters Gonna Hate– you just keep on postin’ Bitchy.

    1. Simon

      I’m like you, Granny. All I saw was someone in a group of people raising her hand. I agree with bitchy as I almost always do because no matter your job when it involves face-to-face interaction with the public that it is fun to be able to vent when the booger-brained idiots are not within earshot AND of course not before you get their tip!

  3. Still in the business

    Well pointing out the rude ass guest waving the arm because you are on the way to the table. (Most likely) So she happens to be Asian if the group was white would it have been a racist remark? Just saying. Bitchy only look for rude ass white people pics. Lol
    Did you hear that? That was someone giving 0 fucks. Continue on.

    1. Belle

      I’m not racist. But it’s a fact that people of a certain cultural decent do wave a LOT to get your attention even when you’re being the most attentive server on the planet. It’s not that they intend to be rude, its perfectly acceptable in some cultures. People wave, it just so happens a large part of the people doing so are of a certain decent. It’s fact, not racism. I’m so sick and tired of people being online for the sole purpose of looking for things to get offended by. get a damn life!

  4. Gilbey

    I’m pretty racist, but do a good job of hiding it when I want to. As such, I can tell you that Bitchy isn’t racist. Next time, take a moment to photo shop the pic. In this pic, the offensive customer waving should be a white male, there should be a black male, at least one woman of any race and make the fourth Asiatic or Mexican. That’s how colleges do their brochures and promo photos.

  5. G. B. Miller

    Racist? Really? I just see four people sitting around a table who happened to be Asian. Like the man said, it was the first thing that popped up in a Google search.

    He was using it as example of what a rude customer is and those who partake in said rudeness will get dumped on. Same applies in all kinds of jobs. I do payroll for a living, and if I get two wage verifications from two different financial institutions, and one is polite about when it needs it and the other acts like an obnoxious jerk by demanding it back ASAP, which one do think I’m going to finish first?

    Same issue applies here. So for those of you who below the age of 27, get over it. You’ve been listening to too many pinheads who live in the culture of “victimhood”.

  6. Monica

    The waving and yelling thing in Asians is a cultural thing. My Chinese parents do it, and I see the same thing working in a traditional Korean restaurant catered towards older and middle-aged Korean folks. Born and raised in the US, I personally think it’s rude, but to my Korea-born-and-raised coworkers, it’s normal and even expected.

    1. Monica

      Well, not necessarily yelling. Though, some people are extremely rude about it…but most of the time they’ll wave and speak louder than normal to get attention.

      1. Monica R.

        This is a Monica to Monica reply!! 🙂 It’s funny b/c I never related the “waving/flagging” thing to Asians. Been in the biz for 25 yrs. I can attribute some other cultural things that peeve me to Asians (and others) but not the waving thing. As professionals we just go with the flow. You mentioned you are of Asian decent and your relatives do it?? Wow, most of the Asians I have waited on are more reserved, my peeve comes from the fact that tipping is not a cultural thing in most Asian countries, but I secretly suspect a lot of them know our protocol on that and choose to ignore it. What are your thoughts on that?

        1. Monica

          My Korean co-workers tell me that people don’t tip in Korea. Not sure about other Asian countries, and not that I can speak for Asians in general, but I can tell you that 15-20% is not standard for more …”run-down” Asian restaurants in the US. Maybe run-down isn’t the right way to describe them, but there are Asian restaurants where the servers are there only to take your order and serve your food. No check ups, no water refills, etc, unless you get their attention. For restaurants like these, people come ONLY for the food, not the service. Leaving a few bucks for a bill of like, $40, is customary for those places, though not tipping at all would still be considered rude to Chinese and Vietnamese places that fall under this category. I’m sure some people certainly do choose to ignore tipping guidelines, but there are people who really don’t know about them. At least, this seems to be true in California.

          1. Rachel

            FYI, in Korea (not sure about other Asian countries) it’s not just customary but expected for the server to NOT check on the table. When you want to order your food, you have to flag them down (sometimes the table has an electronic buzzer to press, but otherwise it is expected that you call out and wave your hand). Same for if you want something else later on, or to pay your bill, etc. And yes, no tipping in many Asian countries. Tax and any fees are included in the price already.

  7. Drew

    If you look at that picture and the first thing you notice is the race of the humans, you might be a racist. If you have to start your comment with “I’m not racist but…” You might be a racist. The only people accusing you of being a racist are the ones that are being racist.

  8. amber

    To be honest, I’m “waved” down most often my old white women…while I’m in the middle of taking an order at the table next to them. To which I look over and say “I’m sorry but this man is ordering his food you’ll have to wait your turn” l

  9. PCC

    Waving to a server in China or Hong Kong is commonplace and is not considered rude at all – in fact, it’s considered effective communication. The blame for this harmless cross-cultural misunderstanding rests as much with overly sensitive American waiters who put their precious egos ahead of taking a customer’s order.


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