Customer Leaves Passive Aggressive Note Instead of a Tip

Bitch, please.

Bitch, please.

Sometimes when we servers get a bad tip, we never know what it was that kept the customer from reaching into their deep pockets with their short arms. Too often we are left wondering if it was something we did or if that person is one of those people who doesn’t “believe in tipping.” I was recently sent a photo of a note from a server who was stiffed, but his customer decided to make it a teaching moment and left him a very detailed explanation of why there was no tip.

Dear William,

We would have loved to leave you a bit (sic) fat tip as we usually do with great service. That is not, however, what we received. We found the following items on which you should improve to meet the 4-star service that guests expect.

  1. You didn’t tell us your name when you first came to the table.
  2. You often disappeared.
  3. Our appetizers took forever-you should have come to reassure us that they were on their way.
  4. My husband’s drink ran seriously low for a long time, twice.
  5. After we received our food we didn’t hear from you until I had finished.

Hope this helps. 🙂

This note is 50 shades of what the fuck and I feel the need to go over it, line by line, so I can truly understand what she is trying to say:

We would have loved to leave you a bit fat tip as we usually do with great service. Stop right there, lady. Anyone who says they normally leave a big (assuming “big”and not “bit”) fat tip hardly ever leaves a big fat tip. The people who say that are the same people who scrutinize every step of their meal in order to find flaws so they can deduct from the generous tip they were supposedly prepared to give. Any time someone implies they are a big tipper, every server worth his salt automatically prepares himself for 10% or less because that is what it almost always is. I bet the only time this woman ever got close to a big fat tip was when she was in the back seat of her car on her prom night.

We found the following items on which you should improve to meet the 4-star that guests expect. Who does this bitch think she is, Professor Henry Higgins? I know my vowels, I knew before I came. She gives me the impression that she had a little chart with her at the table that she was constantly taking notes on.

You didn’t tell us your name when you first came to the table. No, maybe William didn’t say his name because he isn’t required to. Not every restaurant makes their servers do that. Or maybe he doesn’t want his customers to know his name. I wonder if this customer introduces herself to every single server she has. Maybe William was wearing a name tag and he made the assumption that his customers could read it. This is not a good reason to stiff a server.

You often disappeared. Of course he disappeared on occasion because he was attending to other tables and going into the kitchen. Unless this woman has x-ray vision and can peer through walls, she would not see him when he was in the kitchen grabbing plates and running food, she would not see him when he was in the sidestand ringing in orders and she would not see him when he had to take three minutes off the floor to relieve his bladder. Just because she can’t see him does not mean he “disappeared.” Or I wonder if this woman expected him to stand at her table the whole time she was there so he would be able to attend to her every beck and call and help feed her and wipe her mouth for her.

Our appetizers took forever-you should have come to reassure us that they were on their way. Why would he need to reassure her that the food is coming? If a customer orders food, most servers don’t feel the need to go back to a table and say “Hey, you know that food you ordered because you wanted it to come to your table? Well, I ordered it and it will eventually be coming to your table.” The assumption when you order food is that it will come. Trust us, we want it to be there just as badly as you do. The sooner you can inhale those apps, the sooner we can bring your entree and the sooner we can give you the check so you can get the fuck out out and we can turn over the table to make more money. And what is “forever” anyway? I bet it took less than fifteen minutes but it just seemed like forever because she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast when she devoured some Beggin’ Strips a Greenie and a rawhide bone.

My husband’s drink ran seriously low for a long time, twice. Since she doesn’t say that the glass was ever empty, it seems to me that William did his job. Twice. And if a glass gets “seriously” low, what kind of consequences will the husband have to suffer through? Swollen tongue? Dehydration? This is exactly the kind of flaw that I was referring to that some customers will look for as an excuse to deduct from the tip. Maybe the glass got so slow because he had disappeared into the kitchen to inquire about the appetizers that were taking “forever.”

After we received our food we didn’t hear from you until I had finished. Sorry, William, but I’m on her side for this point. Every server, no matter how busy, needs to make sure they do the “two-minute check back” to see that customers are satisfied with their food. It irritates the hell out of me when I am at a restaurant and the server drops the food off and does not come back to my table until it’s time to give me the check. Still, I don’t stiff them for it.

Hope this helps. ☺ We know this customer isn’t really trying to help William. And the little smiley face at the end of the note is a passive aggressive dick move if I ever saw one. The only reason she wrote this note was to justify her cheap ass not leaving a tip. There is no way in hell she did it to help William become a better sever.

Let’s hope that this customer sees this blog someday and will know what we all think of her stupid little note. Next time, lady, just stiff your server like you always do and move on. The little note isn’t going to make your waiter appreciate you or think of you more highly. Note or no note, the server will think the same thing about you: cheap bitch.

Discussion

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