If Siri Was a Waitress

“How can I help you?”

Thanks to Jimmy Kimmel, we now know what a shitty waitress Siri would make. I don’t have an iPhone, so I can’t speak personally about everybody’s favorite bitch, Siri, but this waitress reminds me of a girl I used to work with in Texas. She could never get anything right and we were all convinced that she had a soft spot in her head. I saw  her one time sitting in her car before work and it looked like she was sniffing a spray paint can. When I asked her what she was doing, she told me she liked to smell her can of hair spray in the morning, because it reminded her of her grandma. Ummm, okay. I think it made her stupid.

Anyway, this video makes me wish I could do this to every customer who sits in my section just so I could see how far I could go along with it.